Handcuffs Optional
by Armadilloi
Summary: An unauthorized posting from history. Chuck meets Carina in season 1 and, well, she doesn't need handcuffs.
1. Surprise Attack

CarinaChuck1  
2247 02/09

All warfare is based on deception.  
Art of War - Sun Tzu

* * *

CIA Residential Hotel  
Burbank, CA

Chuck turned away from the closed hotel room door and walked down the corridor toward the elevator, thrusting the long-stemmed rose viciously into the trash receptacle followed by a bottle of champagne. _'So much for the Montgomery,'_ he thought, _'I'm such a damned idiot. They're probably laughing their collective asses off right now'._

He pushed the down button on the elevator and the doors opened and he walked smack into…Carina Hansen!

"Chuckles! My, my, imagine seeing you here! I take it you and Sarah …"

"She's 'entertaining' her old partner, Bryce Larkin. I imagine you'd be a welcome addition. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go soak my head in bleach to purge the memory of…"

She had the decency to blush, whether from the images cascading through her mind of the three spies in the sack together or she was embarrassed…he laughed to himself, _'Carina, embarrassed? No way…'_

She suddenly looked down at the elevator floor and sighed. _'Another decent guy who thinks I sleep with anything and everyone.'_

"So, I guess she won't be wanting to have a 'girls' night out'. I don't suppose I could convince you to go clubbing with me? I'm really not comfortable going out stag dressed like this." She turned her blue eyes on him and was surprised at his expression. Maybe not surprised, but pleased. She saw a kindred spirit, at least for the night.

"You look incredible, Carina. You'll be beating the best looking guys off with a stick. I can vouch for a couple of clubs around here that aren't meat markets. I think you'll have better luck hooking up with Brad Pitt if I wasn't hanging around."

"What you mean is that you feel uncomfortable around the 'DEA Ho', right? It's OK, Chuck. I get it." Chuck felt like crap. He hadn't meant that at all. OK, OK, she had a rep but it wasn't his place to judge. Certainly not after the Montgomery crashed and burned.

"No, Carina, it was a shitty thing to say. I'm sorry I'm just…I just…I don't know anything anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore. Certainly not Sarah Walker."

"I'm sorry Walker's jerking you around but she has a job to do. She can't have anything other than a handler/asset relationship or she'd be reassigned or worse, fired. She lives for the job, Chuck, and believe me when I say she'll be easier to deal with after she's spent some quality time with Bryce. It's lonely doing what she does. Don't begrudge her a little relaxation and fun, Chuck."

Chuck pushed down his feelings for Sarah Walker and examined the issue realistically for perhaps the first time. He didn't like what he saw.

"She's the 'cover girlfriend' and it's OK for her to be with Bryce but God forbid I have something outside the damned cover. That would make it look like I was cheating on my 'girlfriend' as far as the general public was concerned. That's not who I am, Carina. And it wouldn't work for the 'cover'. I'd be cheating on a cover girlfriend who right now is 'cheating' on her cover boyfriend."

"I never looked at it from your point of view, Chuck. That really does seem hypocritical. And I know you're no hypocrite, even if it is all just a cover. I knew from the diamond op that you were a decent guy caught up in something you didn't understand and couldn't escape from."

"I shouldn't be talking about this. I'm going to hear about it tomorrow, I'm sure. Just…aw, Hell, I'm whining again. Look, just knock on the door and the three of you can go party. I'm heading home."

He walked into the elevator and pressed the lobby button. "Carina, this is your floor. I'm heading home."

"No, you're not. You're going with me and we're going to have fun and drink and dance and no funny stuff, I promise, Chuck. I'd like to just pretend I have a normal date with a normal guy for just a while. Humor me?"

"Me? Normal? Not used to being seen as 'normal', Carina. Well, OK. But no handcuffs. No funny business. I mean it. Just a 'first date'."

"Deal. Now, let's get you properly attired. How far is it to your apartment?"

"Um, about 10 minutes. I live with my sister and her fiancé. They're both doctors. Residents, actually."

"No problem. Let's go. The night is young and so are we."

* * *

Casa Bartowski

Carina scoped out Chuck's available wardrobe and made a few quick selections and then she looked at his hair. Nice – if you liked immature dreadlocks.

She walked into the common bathroom and perused the medicine cabinet and found what she was looking for and went back to her project still sitting on his bed, in shock.

"OK, sweetie, I don't know who this belongs to but just replace it tomorrow. Now, let's give you a haircut." She giggled at the look on his face but she just forced him to sit back down and went to work with the scissors and trimmer on his electric razor. She'd done this before, in worse places and to men she despised. This time it was almost a labor of love.

"Now, go in and take a quick shower and shave and get dressed. I'll finish your curly locks when you're done." She smiled at her work. She'd transformed a geek, OK _nerd,_ into quite the handsome man. He'd been cute before, now he looked older and…edible. She sighed and grimaced. She'd keep her promise _this_ time.

* * *

The first thing he noticed was that Carina drove her rented Chevy Malibu like an old woman, not exactly the way he'd seen other operatives drive. She didn't seem to have the same skill set that Sarah and Casey had.

"Carina, you do know that the speed limit is 70 on the expressway, don't you?"

"Chuck, this is a rental in my name. If it were a government pool car we'd be there already. I told you, I'm on vacation pending my next assignment. So, please, don't nag, sweetie. I can drive as well as Walker or Casey when the need arises but there's no need right now, is there?"

"Nope. Sorry. Your explanation makes a lot of sense. Thanks for not slinging me some story. I appreciate your honesty."

"I'll make you a deal, Chuck. You don't lie to me and I won't lie to you. If we stumble into 'secret territory' tell me and I'll back off. Same deal with me, OK?"

"Works for me." This wasn't the Carina Hansen he'd met in Malibu when they swiped the diamond thingy. This woman was relaxed and had apparently put the estrogen levels on 'normal'. He liked her and she was a refreshing change from Agent Walker.

* * *

The club was fairly busy and they found a place at the bar and ordered drinks. Chuck ordered a beer and he was surprised when Carina ordered just a Coke.

"You take 'no drinking and driving' seriously, Carina. I expected you to order something more in keeping with your image. Something like a 'Screaming Orgasm' or a 'Sloe Comfortable Screw'." He grinned to show he was kidding her.

"I'd like either one of those for real but I promised you no funny business. And yeah, I don't drink and drive. Personal history. Sometime I'll tell you about it but not now. C'mon, Chuck. Dance with me. It's been a long time since someone danced with me and didn't try to cop a feel or grab my ass. I really don't know how to act around you."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Just be yourself, Carina. No need to put on airs. It's just the two of us and I don't have a secret agenda."

Carina enjoyed being held by Chuck as they danced. He made her feel like fine china or something fragile and precious. She reached up and put her arms around his neck and snuggled her face against his neck feeling safe and enjoying both his scent and his presence. Her 5'9" was a perfect fit for his 6'2".

They sat out the fast dances as Chuck had been blunt telling Carina his dancing was more like a gerbil on speed than something she'd recognize and he felt very self-conscious about it. She laughed and said that if she wanted to get wild she'd find another girl whose guy wasn't into fast dancing and have at it and not to worry. She'd rather dance touching him any day.

It was a little past midnight when things took a turn for the worse. Chuck noticed a man come in, look around and spot Carina and then leave. Chuck flashed on him. Hector de Guzman was a fairly important middleman for the Mexican drug cartels in the U.S. A minute later he came back – with friends. Big friends.

Chuck leaned down and had to shout in Carina's ear to overcome the din in the club. "Don't look, Carina, but Hector de Guzman and some friends just walked in and are standing by the entrance eyeballing you. Are you in trouble? Do we need to leave by the back way?"

He saw fear in her face and without a second thought he punched the panic button on his watch and grabbed Carina by the hand and dragged her through the crowd of dancers toward the rear service bar and the back door.

Chuck had set up the club's network ordering and inventory control systems and knew the layout of the club very well. They were out of the club and in an alley in less than 30 seconds while he knew it would take her enemies several minutes to find the rear entrance after wading through the crowd of revelers.

"Chuck, run down the alley to the parking lot and wait for your handlers. I'll be fine. Honest. Just go, Chuck!" She knew he was special without knowing why but figured since he had two top-notch agents as handlers he was _very _special. She was fumbling opening her purse for her pistol but she was shaking too badly to get it open.

"Carina, take my cell phone and hit speed dial #1 and explain to the person that answers what's going on. Give me your purse, Carina. I need your pistol and then I need you to run to the parking lot and flag down my handlers. Knowing those two assholes, they'd throw me in the van and leave you if they saw me first. So not going to happen."

"Chuck, no! Absolutely not. I'm the professional here and…"

He grabbed her purse and found her Beretta Star Minx and then shoved the purse back in her hands and pushed her toward the parking lot. He had a look on his face that frightened her into following his instructions.

Chuck hid behind one of the dumpsters at the end of the alley and checked that the safety was off and a round in the chamber just like Casey had tried to teach him. He had learned quickly but didn't want the big man to know just how much he'd retained. He'd learned a hard lesson: never let the enemy know your plans or intentions. Casey was the enemy, and despite his feelings for her, so was Sarah Walker.

The four men burst from the emergency door into the alley and it took a few moments for them to orient themselves, seconds that Chuck used to full advantage.

He remembered his lessons well.

_Bartowski, first you select your target and then establish a sight picture._ Chuck picked the one nearest the door. He didn't want any one of them getting away and maybe doubling back and nailing Hansen before his handlers got there.

_Take a deep breath and hold it. Maintain your sight picture. Slowly release the breath you're holding and then hold it and begin drawing back on the trigger. The shot should come as a surprise if you're done it right and don't jerk on the trigger, Moron. _The report from the muzzle of the small-bore pistol was loud and it came as a surprise. The projectile exited the barrel and buried itself in the head of the first target.

_Once the target is down, numb nuts, move on to the next one and repeat as often as needed or, in your case, until you've pissed your pants and let out some girly screech because of the noise and Walker has to save your ass again. _The second drug runner fell as did the third, all headshots.

'_These aren't people. They don't have families, hopes and dreams. They don't feel a thing. It's a video game. They're just pixels on a monitor. They're not real, they're not people.' _He told himself that over and over until he almost believed it.

The leader turned, shock and surprise on his face, and brought his own piece up into firing position. Chuck knew it was a druggie's choice, either a Tec-9 or a MAC-10. Either way, an automatic weapon versus a small caliber pistol with 3 cartridges remaining changed the possible outcomes of the engagement. Even as he repeated Casey's mantra and lined up his shot, his mind was busy screaming at him that he better shoot fast and be on target or he was dead meat. _Where the hell are my handlers?_

Notes: I'm bored. He's fishing. Totally unauthorized posting. Too bad. What's his is now mine.  
APR's WIFE!


	2. After Action No Reaction

CarinaChuck2  
3564

Nik: sorry for the length but using his chapter breaks. no sizzle here yet. And I just edit, he writes. this is all vintage APR the early years...LOL!  
APR's Wife.

* * *

John Casey had been asleep when the panic alarm shrilled loudly in his apartment. He wasn't even totally awake by the time he started the Crown Victoria and burned rubber out of the lot and towards the blinking dot on his GPS locater. He was a professional and his training kicked in a long while before his conscious thought processes did.

He tore into the crowded lot and drove toward the blinking icon on his GPS. He saw Carina Hansen standing at the entrance to the alley between the club and another building waving her arms to attract his attention. He screeched to a stop and jumped from his car, pistol in hand ready to deal with any threats.

"Where's Bartowski? What are you doing here? What'd the fucking idiot do this time, start a fight?"

"Give me your backup piece, Casey, and follow me. A drug distributor I busted a while back spotted me in the club and Chuck dragged me out the back way and told me to contact his handler. Speed dial #1 is Walker's and went right to voice mail. I didn't want to blow his cover using any of the others so I waited here for you."

Casey suddenly realized he didn't _have_ his backup piece and cursed as he heard a series of measured shots followed by a burst of small caliber automatic weapons fire and then three spaced shots followed by silence. Either someone was giving _coup de grace_ or firing and missing.

He flipped open his trunk and tossed a 9mm Beretta to Carina and took off running down the alley cursing Walker for not following protocol and himself for assuming Chuck was with her. He had called for backup and a cleaner team while en route to the club that was only 2 blocks from the apartment complex.

Carina passed Casey who was being cautious. She blew past him, shouting Chuck's name at the top of her lungs. She stopped when she saw the row of bodies and shouted again, this time for Casey.

Chuck was too busy to acknowledge her shouts. He was leaning against the dumpster in the 'frisk' position, emptying the contents of his stomach. That was not video game. Those were people. He killed them without any hesitation. He didn't think he could live with what he'd done and what he'd become.

"Chuck, are you OK? Talk to me, baby. Chuck?" Carina knew what was running through his mind. She'd been there a thousand years ago. She knew what he needed but she also knew he'd reject it.

"Is the moron OK, Hansen? What the hell were you doing with him? He's supposed to be with Walker on a 'cover' sleepover or something."

"He's just shook up, Casey. We were on a 'date', that's all, nothing more. As for Walker? She's fucking Larkin right now and she blew Chuck off when he showed up at her place. We ran into each other in the elevator and we decided to go dancing and drinking and just be two normal people, that's all until my job caught up with me. Hell, I'm on vacation, Casey. This isn't supposed to happen."

"Well, stand him up and let's get back to the car. We'll sort this out in the morning. I'll put him on my couch and watch him. Man, the shit's going to hit the fan in the morning."

"We're taking him back to his apartment and I'll stay with him. He needs more than grunts and insults right now, Casey. He feels like crap and he'll need someone to 'listen' not criticize. I don't think you'll be much of a listener and you're definitely not who he needs to talk to."

"Fine. Just…just be aware that his sister, the Mad Doctor, is finely attuned to the moron and will pick up anything unusual about him. Bring him to the yogurt shop across from the Buy More in the morning. I'll handle it from there. You said Walker's speed dial went to voice mail? I'll deal with that in the morning, too."

"The sister could be a problem then. I'll take him to my hotel room and I'll have him back in your clutches by 9am, OK?"

"Just don't handcuff him to the bed, Hansen. I think he's had enough shocks for one day, don't you?"

"Screw you, Casey. Chuck and I have a deal and I don't need handcuffs to keep up my end of it. See you tomorrow. You have my cell number if anything comes up." She saw his smirk and decided to put him in his place once and for all.

"I meant, Major, if anything related to the events in the alley or if for some unknown reason his handlers require his presence. Don't know why you would though. He was very thorough." Her smirk overwhelmed him and he suddenly got mad.

"Just have him at the Yogurt shop before 9am, Hansen." He'd talk to the moron and square him away. Hansen was trouble with a capital 'T'. He knew that from past and painful experience. Then he thought, _'Let the moron get himself in too deep with her and come running for help. She's a man eater and the idiot's about to become the main course at her next feeding frenzy.'_

* * *

Chuck wished like hell he had a breath mint. He was almost gagging with every breath he exhaled. He was focused on the road and felt her nudge his arm and hold out a tiny box of breath mints. "Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt, Chuck. I think I've got a spare toothbrush in my luggage."

"Um, I have one at home. Where the hell are we going? My apartment's that way," gesturing to the north.

"We're going to my hotel room. No funny business, I promised, remember? I just don't want you being alone right now, Chuck, and I make a pretty good listener or would you rather I dropped you off at Casey's? That's the alternative."

"Nope. Your place is fine." He sat quietly watching the traffic and then asked her a question.

"Carina, would you have killed those men or arrested them or what?"

"Probably 'or what', Chuck. I probably would have run down the alley and got in the car and left and hoped they weren't following me. The dealer was one scary dude and the things he did to people who'd wronged him gave me nightmares. I'd have called the local office and asked for backup and 24-hour surveillance on both those men and me. I'd have left town as quickly as possible."

"So I screwed up bad, huh?"

"What would you have done differently, Chuck? I mean we're dancing and you spot a drug kingpin and what would you do differently now?" It was an honest question but she hoped he'd arrive at a conclusion other than 'I screwed up bad'.

"If I'd waited, they might have boxed us in and we'd have had no place to run so I'd run."

"Go on, then what?"

"I'd have run down the damned alley and jumped in the car and driven as fast as I could to…"

"Driven where? You don't have DEA ties. You can't trust the cops these days. What would you have done?"

"I could have driven to Casey's but they might have followed me and I would have led them straight to Ellie and Devon. That's no good."

"OK, option one, 'run away', wouldn't have worked out in your mind. So we're still standing in that alley so now what, Chuck?"

"Do what you said. Leave you behind and run to the entrance and flag Casey down and hope he wouldn't abandon you as collateral damage."

"Good thinking. So, see, it wasn't that hard at all, was it? Now…"

"And you'd have been dead or worse, still alive but captured and you were terrified in the club so that's a no-starter, Carina."

"Chuck, don't underestimate me. I could have killed them all the same way you did and I wouldn't be the one trashing myself over the moral consequences." She wasn't sure she could have acted in the cool way Chuck had. She was terrified of the consequences of being captured. She was so nervous and couldn't even open her damned purse. Maybe…

"Chuck, forget what I just said. I don't think I had it together enough to take out all four and certainly not when the fourth had a MAC-10. I hate to say this, I'll never live it down, but Chuck Bartowski, you did the only thing you could have done if I was to survive. Now we have to make sure _you_ survive. I know how your mind works. You feel guilty and sick and full of doubt and self-hatred. Well, get over it. They're dead and I'm alive and I for one am damned glad it worked out that way."

He was shocked and speechless. A spy, albeit a DEA agent, actually admitted to being less than 'super'. His confidence in anything Carina Hansen might say or do climbed to the top of the charts. Her honesty was so refreshing and…bluntly put, a trait he found sorely lacking in those he'd been involved with since getting the damned intersect. His grin was totally without guile.

She watched his face and smiled. She told him the bare truth. She'd never have to put on a front or play a role with this guy. Her opinion of Sarah Walker began to slip as she wondered how in the world she could ever chose Bryce over Chuck – unless she was already so deeply involved with Larkin that she was blind to what she had unfettered access to – Chuck Bartowski.

* * *

She was staying at an upscale motel, not a hotel as he'd suspected, and she hesitated when she was unlocking the door.

"Chuck, don't be upset or anything, sweetie, but…I kind of planned on bringing you back here but under totally different circumstances. I made a deal and I planned on sticking to it but I always hoped…"

"Hey, don't sweat it. I'm flattered that someone as classy as you would even…"

She kissed him to stop his rambling crap about how she could do so much better than him. She probably could but she didn't want to.

"Sorry, but I don't want to hear anymore crap about how undeserving you are of the good things that come your way. And I'm one of the good things, Chuck, and I definitely think you deserve me, especially after the performance you turned in this evening. Now, I'm not talking about s-e-x. I'm talking about friendship and whatever flows from that. I like you and I know you like me. I'm not Walker, Chuck. I promise I won't play you and if things work out for us, great. If not, we'll still be great friends. OK?"

"Why don't we start on 'friends' and build from there. We don't get to see each other much and let's take advantage of what time you'll have to spend on 'us', OK?"

"Good enough. I have no intentions of going elsewhere for my vacation. I always intended to spend time with Sarah…and you. I want to finish our 'first date', Chuck. I want to go slow dancing and walk on the beach and just be a girl with a new guy. OK?"

"Works for me. Um, I'm suddenly dead on my feet and I have to face the inquisition tomorrow morning and then listen to my handlers tell me what I should have done. Any chance of crashing soon?"

"Yeah. You look like you're ready to drop. Don't worry about tomorrow. You did the right thing. Shower then bed. I'll set the alarm for 6am and you'll have time to change before your meeting. I'm supposed to drop you off at the yogurt store. OK?"

* * *

**Next morning - Buy More Plaza**

Carina dropped him off at the front of the Orange-Orange, started to drive off but then stopped the car and got out and did the whole 'last kiss' thing leaving them both breathless.

"Chuck, no matter what happens down there, you did the only thing you could do under the circumstances. Keep that in mind. I'm sure there are many eyes watching us but I don't care. I'll see you later. Beach then booze and dancing and we'll just see how things progress. I'm new at this 'dating' thing so if I screw up, be patient, OK?"

She kissed him again, laughed at the dazed look on his face, and then drove off to spend the day doing whatever struck her fancy. Shopping and a day spa.

Chuck walked into the Orange-Orange, flipped the 'OPEN' sign to 'CLOSED' and went down to the new Castle facility. He still felt a thrill every time he went down into the high tech facility. It beat the hell out of the home theatre at the Buy More.

"Well, all hail the deadly assassin. Enjoy your evening, Bartowski? I'm shocked that you can still walk after an evening with her – especially since you saved her life." Casey was in one of his moods so Chuck just headed for the coffee and hoped the briefing with the directors would begin earlier than usual. He wasn't in the mood for his snarky banter this early in the morning.

"Walker's running late. Can't imagine why, can you? Hey, moron, you deaf?" He hated zinging the mark and then being ignored. He wanted to see a reaction to his sarcastic attacks and Bartowski was such a target-rich environment.

"She'll be here, Casey. Professionals are never late, never unprepared and never without something witty to say, even if they have no idea what they're talking about. But hey, that's just a civilian's point of view and it doesn't mean squat around here."

Since he couldn't get a rise out of his asset he decided to spread salt over old wounds.

"So your old roomie from Stanford showed up at Walker's last night? That must have been awkward."

He expected either some whiny comment or girly moment but instead Chuck just shrugged it off with "She shouldn't have turned off her phone, Major. Even I know that's a protocol and procedural no-no. Could have had unfortunate consequences if things hadn't work out the way they did, right? By the way, thanks for being the cavalry last night. Saved my ass again."

He'd deflected Casey and left him without anything to say except grunt #14 – 'just doing my job, moron'.

"Yeah, well, if you'd have been where you were supposed to have been it wouldn't have been necessary." It was a lame response but Casey had to have the last word. It was almost a moral imperative with him.

"Let it go, Major. Deal with your partnership issues in private. He was there. It would have been, what did you say? Oh, yeah, _'awkward'_."

Casey knew the idiot was right and let it go. He glanced at his watch and frowned. Walker had better make an appearance soon or it would just be him and the…Bartowski for the briefing.

The communications unit chimed signifying an incoming video conference request and Casey grunted and hit 'Accept' and the game was on.

Both directors were present and their mood was impossible to gauge. Chuck sat at the conference table looking pensive and respectful – a pleasant change.

"Good morning, Major Casey, Mr. Bartowski. Where is Agent Walker?" Beckman was quiet, letting Director Graham handle the opening pleasantries.

"On her way. I haven't been able to reach her this morning. I'm sure she's been held up in traffic." Or she's enjoying Bryce one more time before reality smacks her in the face. He didn't know or care. She was late. She had acted unprofessionally since Larkin's arrival. He would deal with it when the opportunity arose.

"Well, let's get started. Chuck, Major Casey sent in an interesting incident report detailing the elimination of three well-known drug runners and their boss. Explain to the General and I how you came to be in such a situation in the first place?" His tone of voice was almost friendly and all Chuck's defense mechanisms were on high alert.

Chuck spent two minutes summarizing the situation, the events and the outcome. He was succinct and to the point and even Casey was impressed with his report to the two directors.

Beckman stared at Chuck and Casey could hear the wheels working in her brain. The moron had really screwed the pooch on this one and it was all Walker's fault but Bartowski would pay the price. He sighed and looked over at his asset. No shaking, no whining, no sweating, no excuses. Remarkable.

"Mr. Bartowski, the Director and I have reviewed Major Casey's incident report and agree with his conclusions. Good work. No. Excellent work. And an excellent after-action summary. I can see Major Casey's influence. Continue fire arms training and we'll deal with the protocol violations at another time." She started to disconnect when Chuck spoke again.

"Ma'am, with all due respect, what protocol violations? I followed the rules as outlined and I can't think of an alternative course of action that would have yielded a more positive outcome. What did I do wrong?" _Dazzle them with footwork. Befuddle them with bureaucratic bullshit._

Director Graham answered after glancing at the general. "Chuck, _you_ did nothing wrong. My Agent broke protocol and I'll deal with her in private, understand?"

"Yes, sir. I misunderstood the general's comment. Thank you for clarifying it." _Perfect servile tone. Dodged another bullet._

The screen went blank.

"I agree with them, Bartowski. You followed protocol. Walker did not. I have to admit I'm surprised by your performance last night and how you handled yourself with the directors. Next time, ask me if you have any performance issues." His smirk said more but Chuck just let it pass.

"Yeah, I'll do that. I can't believe I got a damned 'atta boy' from General Beckman. I wonder if Hell froze over?"

Casey grunted pleasantly and looked at Chuck again. Something was different and he couldn't put his finger on it. It had bugged him since last night.

"Major, I'm off for the next two days and I'll be around town, maybe the beach. I've got a date tonight but just so you know, I probably won't need a chaperone. We want to continue what was interrupted last night."

"Watch yourself with her, Bartowski. Handcuffs, remember? And keep your watch on. It's waterproof and you might need the panic button so I can bring the bolt cutters."

Casey thought that was hilarious and the last thing Chuck heard as he walked up the stairs and out of the Castle was Casey's laughter. The funny thing was, he didn't mind it at all. Other than the initial ribbing, Casey seemed almost pleasant. Maybe Hell _had_ frozen over.

**Buy More**

Work at the Buy More was boring and repetitious. The morning had just begun and he'd dispatched his Nerd Herders out on installs and repair tickets and was just beginning his own reports when his cell phone chirped. Beckman!

"Bartowski, secure but in public."

"Beckman. An issue has arisen that we need to address. How will you explain your involvement with the Combine if Agent Hansen gets nosy? Your report said you'd flashed on de Guzman and alerted Agent Hansen to his presence. How will you explain your flash?"

"Wait one, General."

Chuck hurried back to the cage where he could talk without fear of being overheard. He was safe there. The cage was where _work_ got done and his crew avoided work like the plague.

"Ma'am, I've thought about that and I think if I tell her that I'm working on facial recognition software that tries to mimic the brains of people with eidetic imagery skills that she'll buy it. She's not all that knowledgeable about computer programming and I think that'll work until we have to come up with something more…satisfying or she's out of the picture."

"Explain what you mean, Mr. Bartowski? Eidetic ima…"

"It's like a photographic memory only the brain fills in the blanks when presented with incomplete images. I think it's the simplest answer and it's not far from the truth but definitely not close to what the 'thing' actually does."

"We'll run with that. Have you spoken with Agent Walker yet? I know she was with Agent Larkin instead of her regularly scheduled duties. It was a critical error. It might have proven costly to our project and cost you your life, Mr. Bartowski. Do you still have confidence in her as a handler – aside from your…well-known personal feelings?"

"Yeah, I can live with it as long as it doesn't happen again. I mean…I mean as long as she takes calls. She can do whatever the hell she wants with Larkin. I just don't want to be collateral damage to her affair with him. I can maintain the cover as long as she's discrete. I guess that makes sense, doesn't it?"

"General?"

Beckman was thinking. Maybe it was time to discuss the Walker-Bartowski relationship with Director Graham. Walker had to go. There was enough stress in the asset's life. He shouldn't have to contend with having the Larkin/Walker thing shoved in his face.

"Yes, I agree for now. If it happens again, or if things get tiresome, she will be replaced. Have a good day, Mr. Bartowski."

Shit. That wasn't the outcome he'd been expecting. Losing her from his daily life wasn't something he wanted. She was his 'friend' since she'd 'defined' their relationship 'under the cover' as nothing more than friendship. He'd been the one to push for something she obviously didn't want or feel the need for in her job. After all, she had Larkin.

Carina was right. Sarah had nothing if she lost her job and he didn't want to be the reason she was replaced. Besides, Carina offered the possibilities of a relationship he wouldn't have to hide and where he wouldn't have to explain his 'other job' without explaining it. And she was already a known quantity so far as the Combine was concerned.

* * *

**Don't look for his usual snarky BS comments. He didn't leave any that I saw  
APR's Wife!**


	3. Painful Realizations As Chuck Flies Free

CarinaChuck3  
2222 03/09

Thx for all your reviews. Pls don't hate me for this chapter. I just post. HE writes - APR's Wife!

* * *

Sarah Walker dreaded the inevitable confrontation with her partner, Major Casey. She'd really screwed up and she knew it. She'd turned off her cell phone because she didn't want to deal with Chuck after he'd shown up at her hotel room and was greeted by Larkin fresh from the shower. She should have called earlier and cancelled the 'cover date' but she didn't think about it. All thoughts of assets and agencies had been cast from her mind by the sheer joy of physical release. It had been so long…

She was surprised that there were no voice messages except several from Casey consisting of an escalating series of grunts and even more surprised to see none at all from Chuck. If she admitted it, she was disappointed he hadn't at least left her a text message.

She walked down into the Castle and got coffee and then sat at the surveillance console waiting for Casey to launch his attack. She brought the cameras into focus and watched Chuck work. It was one of her favorite pastimes, Chuck watching.

"Take a good look at the moron, Walker. Notice anything different about him?"

"Looks like he got a haircut." Most of the curls were gone and it bothered her a lot. She loved to play with those curls on movie night at his apartment but he looked good, really good, with his hair styled the way it was today.

"Yeah, he did. But that isn't what I meant. Do you see any difference in him between this morning and the last time you laid eyes on him?"

"Casey, he came to my hotel room. I had…"

"Company, I know. But you were supposed to have a cover date. An all-nighter. Between last night and this morning we had a Code Red situation. Your cell phone went to voice mail and we're lucky he was only two blocks from my apartment. I homed in on the GPS in his watch after he'd punched the panic button."

"What happened? Is he all right?"

"He flashed on a minor cartel drug lord and had to scoot with his date. He sent her to safety and then took down four armed assailants. One of them had a MAC-10 but he brought them all down."

"His _date_? He had a _date_? We were supposed to have a cover sleepover and he had a _date_?"

"Walker, Chuck's straight. I don't think he wanted to sleep with Larkin, even if he was fresh from the shower. He ran into someone he knew in the elevator on his way out and they ended up at a dance club where he flashed on the hoods. They were after his date. He mashed the panic button and the two of them left by the back entrance and then he sent her to flag me down in the parking lot."

"He's OK isn't he, Casey? He didn't get roughed up or anything? I can't see any bruises or bandages."

"Physically, he's fine and I think he's doing all right emotionally. They talked a lot last night and she called me and gave me a sitrep. The conference call this morning was actually pleasant. They even gave him high marks for his performance and his after-action synopsis."

"_She _called you last night? How the hell does _she_ know who you are? He shouldn't have broken cover, given out your name. They didn't take him to task for it?"

"Nope. Like I said, they were very pleased with the outcome and with manner in which he reached his decisions to act. Very pleased." _'It's __**you**__ they have a problem with and with good reason.'_

"Wait a minute…'he's doing all right emotionally?' What the hell does that mean?"

"If you would have focused on what I was saying instead of obsessing about your cover boyfriend cheating on his cheating cover girlfriend you'd have heard me say that he took down three dealers and the cartel boss for southern California."

Sarah was still reeling from the 'cheating cover girlfriend' comment. "He took down…what do you mean, 'he took down'?"

"I mean he ambushed them when they ran out of the club in pursuit of his lady friend. The three nearest the door he popped in the head but he put three in the 10-spot of the hood with the MAC-10. I guess he got a little excited. He was using her Beretta Star Minx and it only holds 6 rounds."

Sarah's mouth moved but nothing came out. Chuck had killed someone – no make that four some ones. She could feel her eyes filling with tears and she turned from Casey to fixate on the monitors showing Chuck at work. One tear slipped over her lid and ran down her cheek and she quickly brushed it off and regained control.

"Hey, he did everything right. He's OK physically and Beckman says he's on his game emotionally. She talked with him right after the conference call. I just spoke with her. Walker…listen carefully. He was offered the opportunity to replace you. Beckman said if he lacked confidence in his handlers that she'd replace you. Don't blow this second chance. If you want to be with Larkin, ask for a transfer; otherwise, get rid of him and concentrate on the cover. He's a dangerous distraction – dangerous for the team and our mission."

She nodded her head, not trusting her voice. She'd almost lost her - asset and someone else was there when he needed emotional support. Someone else had taken her place while she'd been screwing around with someone she no longer felt anything for. She'd just wanted someone in her bed, that was all and she _settled_ for Larkin_._ She utilized her training and ignored her sudden surge of un-spy like emotion.

"Casey, I'm sorry. I made a huge mistake. I won't let the team down again. I'll call Graham and apologize and make the commitment."

"Good. And you'd better mend fences with the moron. Carina was quite impressed with Chuck and she has a date with him tonight. Seems she wants to finish what was interrupted last night."

He almost laughed when he heard the blonde sitting across from him unwittingly _growl_. Life could be fun if you had the right players in the mix. The next few days or weeks would be very interesting.

* * *

Sarah had made her apologies to Director Graham and then explained that she had 'feelings' for the asset and was using Bryce as a means of 'sublimating' and he just laughed at her.

"Is that what it's called nowadays? I have to remember that, Walker. That's a real gem of an excuse." His laughter pissed her off. Here she was, trying to be honest and truthful and he laughed at her.

"Last night's events are an obvious consequence of your actions. Whatever you do, just don't screw up the job. Just remember why you're there, Agent Walker. Bartowski's ability to function and do his flashes are your responsibility. Agent Casey is there to provide mission assistance and to pull the plug on him if it should become necessary. That's all, Agent Walker. Good day."

She'd received no guidance whatsoever from the conversation with her Director. Instead she'd been reminded what her function was and the role Casey would play if the situation became untenable.

* * *

She knew that Chuck had a date with Carina that evening and that she had told Casey she intended to finish what had been a promising beginning. Sarah'd see about _that_. First things first. She needed to prepare her offensive weaponry and that called for shopping, a hair appointment and a day spa.

_**Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing. Art of War - Sun Tzu**_

Sarah knew how Chuck thought, or at least she had some experience with how he thought and that was an advantage she had over her opponent.

* * *

She scanned the Buy More like a hunting tigress stalking her prey. She spotted him immediately. He was helping a pretty brunette woman program her new phone. She smiled. Her Chuck was always helping someone. It's one of the things that first made her notice the man who was her mark.

She walked up behind the woman and waited for her to leave, newly programmed phone in hand.

"Hi, Chuck. When you have a few minutes, I wonder if we could talk about…things. I have an apol…"

"Sarah, I'm running late. I'd love to chat but I have somewhere I have got to be and I don't want to be late. How's about I catch you at the Orange-Orange tomorrow? I'm sorry, but I really have to go. I thought that woman would never figure out how to turn on her phone."

"But Chuck, I really need to talk to you, for just a few minutes. I have to apologize, Chuck, or I won't be able to eat or sleep or do anything. I'm so upset about last night. Please, Chuck, just a few minutes? Please?" She mentally cringed at her whiney tone. Could she act any more pathetic?

She was practically in tears. This was not going well at all. He was not really paying attention, either. He was clearing off his workspace and preparing to leave.

"Damn it, Charles Bartowski. I made a mistake. I screwed up. I'm sorry. I forgot what was important to me, _**you**_, for one night and now it's all gone to hell, hasn't it? Please, Chuck, just a couple of minutes. Please?"

"Fine. Let me finish up here and I'll walk you out since we're both done for the day." He finished clearing up his backlog, logged off the Buy More network and then grabbed his jacket and keys and walked out with Sarah.

"You got a haircut. Your curls are almost all gone. I liked those curls, Chuck." She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers, walking towards their cars. She 'directed' them to her car since it was further away and they could talk longer.

"Things change, Sarah. I guess this is just a small step in my change. About last night…"

"Oh, yeah. Listen. I screwed up. I never should have turned off my phone. I violated protocol and I almost got you hurt or worse. I'm really sorry, Chuck. It won't happen again. I promise you."

"Fine. Things worked out OK in the long run. Sorry to bother you at the hotel when you had a guest. You should have called me and rescheduled our cover sleepover."

"Chuck, about that. About Bryce, I mean. Listen, I made a mistake. He's not the one I'm interested in. He's gone. No. It's y…"

He interrupted her. "You already said that and I forgive you. I know how much your job means to you and I wouldn't want to be the reason you got in trouble. Pushing the panic button on the watch should have been enough. I can count on Casey. Was there anything else? I really have to get moving or I'm going to be late." He'd heard how Bryce was 'gone' but didn't believe it.

She heard the subtle rebuke in his words and almost broke down in tears. He could count on Casey but she was a question mark. Is that what he meant?

"Sarah, I'll catch you tomorrow at the Orange-Orange. I promise you we'll talk then. I just have somewhere important to be. I'll see you later. Say 'hi' to Larkin for me and tell him I'm sorry for last night's interruption. Gotta run." He pulled his hand from hers and walked away.

He didn't notice her new haircut or her painted nails or her new outfit. He just noticed the time. She ran the conversation over in her head. He asked her to say hello to Larkin and apologize for his 'interruption'. IDIOT! He thinks Bryce is staying over. He thinks it's some kind of booty call.

_Conscience: He __**is **__staying over until Tuesday, remember, Agent Walker? And it was and will continue to be a booty call whenever he comes to visit. It's what you both wanted and needed. At least that's what you told yourself._

_Sarah: Oh, just shut the hell up! This is all your fault anyway. You sent my damned hormones into overdrive. I could have spent last night with Chuck, all snuggled up and running my fingers through his curls and…_

_Conscience: He's 27 not 15. He has the same drives you do only he can't do much about it, can he? And like Casey said, it's all a cover, right? And you cheated on your cover boyfriend without any shame at all until he caught you and then you bitched because he had a date? _

_Conscience: Hypocrite! _

She was arguing with herself and losing. Life sucked.

* * *

T/N: Pls review and comment.


	4. Sarah Lies & Carina Gets Dumped

CarinaChuck4  
3291

* * *

T/N: I don't really like this chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and especially all the PMs congratulating us on getting married. Thanks a bunch.  
APR's Wife!

* * *

Chuck flew through the apartment changing clothes and hoping his outfit was 'acceptable'. He'd never really worried about his dress before. Walker seemed to just accept whatever he wore unless they went out in public and then she became Ms. GQ and would send him back to find something else if it didn't meet her exacting standards. She was worse than Ellie. Obviously any 'feelings' for him were necessary to ensure a successful cover operation, nothing more. He'd deluded himself into thinking it was anything more than a professional working her cover.

He pulled up at the door to Carina's motel room and got out and knocked.

She answered the door with a huge smile and gestured to the phone in her ear and mouthed "_Washington"_ and continued talking.

"Look, I'm on vacation. Really, can't this be postponed until after I'm back at work?

Then, "Fine. I'll fly out Saturday night and be there early Sunday morning. Yes, sir. I understand. Fine. I'll see you at 10am Sunday morning for the briefing, sir."

"Damn it! I have to fly back to DC for some meeting with the Director. I'm sorry, Chuck, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can swing it. This is so damned unfair."

"Hey, I understand. It must be important. Look at the time difference and it's a Friday night. Someone's burning the midnight oil back at the DEA."

She walked over and hugged him. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I had such plans for us when you had the time. We have tonight and all day tomorrow. But I need to ask a favor."

"Sure. Anything…within reason." He laughed and she smirked. He was such a prude.

"Can you drop me off at the airport tomorrow? I want to keep the rental and when I get back we can find some time to just take a drive up the coast? I really like spending time with you. You're different. You show me respect and I enjoy the time we spend together."

"Sure thing. And if you get sent to Timbuktu I'll just keep it and let the DEA pay the bill."

"No way. I signed for it, remember? I'm on vacation. If I can't make it back, you can just drop it off at one of their locations. They'll just bill my AMEX."

He was lost in her blue eyes. She'd obviously spent time on her hair. It was done up in some twisty thing and she looked like she could walk down the runway at some fashion show. He told her that since it was the truth.

"Flatterer. Chuck, I'm already yours, baby. You don't need to butter me up. But thanks for the compliment. I worked hard getting just the right look for you."

"You'd look good in a gunny sack and curlers, Carina. That's not flattery, it's the damned honest truth."

She laughed and then kissed him lightly. "Let's roll. We have a lot of partying to do and you promised me a moonlight walk on the beach, Chuck. Let's hit another club, though. I think that one has a lot of unsavory characters lurking around. I don't want a repeat of last night ruining our time together."

She threw him her keys. "You drive. It's your town. Just don't wreck it, sweetie. I signed for it."

* * *

_Boom Boom Room_

Since Chuck was driving, Carina ordered a mixed drink and Chuck had a coke. The bartender pointed to the sign and took Chuck's keys even though he was not drinking alcohol.

"Rules to live by, my friend. I own this place and I make the rules. Your soft drinks are free for the first hour but you have to pay for your lady friend's alcohol. My place, my rules. You'll get your keys back provided you don't drink any alcohol. If you do, get a cab and we'll secure your car."

"No problem." Chuck liked the rule and the guy. After quick introductions, Carina dragged him out onto the dance floor.

"Chuck, I have a favor to ask. I like you. A lot. I like everything about you and I know I have a rep but can we just pretend we just met or something? I don't want you to feel you have to be on guard every moment we're together. I made you a promise, remember?"

"Yeah. I like you, too, Carina. I always have. I don't judge. At least not consciously so I figure we're like two new people just getting together. And it's true. I'm the deadly assassin and you were my damsel in distress. Couldn't write a more romantically trashy chapter in one of those romance novels you don't read."

"Hey, there's some really hot stuff in those!"

"Yeah. Well, let's just keep our clothes on. My pulsing love muscle and your throbbing love canal will just have to be kept apart."

"It's been a long time since I was with someone who had respect for me like you do. Thanks. But Chuck, understand something. I will have your pulsing love machine joined with my throbbing love canal someday. I'll wait but not long. This is technically our second date, sweetie, and the deal covered the first date only."

"Lawyers! The bane of society. Fine. We'll see about renegotiating the deal later. For right now, let's pick up where we left off last night. There are no large Latino gentlemen staring at you with malicious intent. Enjoy the music."

Her arms snaked around his neck and she snuggled into the crook of his neck, exactly where she'd been last night when El Gordo made his appearance. She laughed and when he asked what was so funny she just shook her head and tightened her grip.

Carina was on her third cocktail when Chuck signaled the owner for the tab and his keys.

"Carina, I need to feed you, baby. Alcohol on an empty stomach is not good. Let's drive up the coast and I'll introduce you to the best burgers on the West Coast and then we'll take our beach stroll."

"Oh, Chuck, I'm not tipsy in the least."

"Then why are you barefoot? Where are your shoes, baby?"

She giggled. "I don't know. I took them off and put them in a secret place so no one would steal them." Chuck rolled his eyes and signaled the bartender and explained the problem.

"No sweat. Happens all the time, believe it or not." He walked around with a flashlight and finally found the shoes up on the corner of the service bar and returned them to Carina.

* * *

The drive up the PCH was quiet and Carina rolled down her window and enjoyed the wind whipping through her hair.

"Y'know, Chuck, I used to wonder about you and Walker. I never knew what she saw in you." She looked over at him and ran her fingers through his hair and continued. "I do now, baby. You _are_ special. And we're driving up the coast in search of the perfect hamburger and then we're going to stroll down the beach and if I'm lucky, find a place to make out. Just until you get to second base, sweetie. I remember our damned deal."

He smiled and took her hand and pressed a kiss into the palm. "Eat then smooch. The way of things. Food then foolery."

* * *

_Knight's Burgers & Suds_

"Oh my God, Chuck. This greasy cholesterol-laden ground beef disaster is the best burger I've ever had. You were right. Promise me we'll come here every time I visit so I can get my quota of greasy food that tastes this great. I'll never doubt you again, Chuck." She snagged one of his fries since she told him she didn't want any.

The sky was cloudless and the quarter moon provided enough light that they didn't have to worry about tripping over the occasional rock thrust up through the sand.

"Chuck, I never swam in the Pacific Ocean. Let's take a dip." She started pulling her t-shirt dress over her head but he stopped her.

"Carina, the water temperature is about 50 degrees. You'll catch pneumonia. The Pacific is colder than hell this time of the year. And I don't want you getting hurt if the surf knocks you down. There are razor sharp rocks out there just under the surface and currents here are dangerous. Let's hold off until daylight – and July."

"Party pooper. At least let me walk where it's shallow? Please, baby? I promise I won't go any deeper than my knees and you'll have to hold my hand the whole time. I'm not a strong swimmer." She pulled the dress over her head before he could stop her and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the receding surf. Of course, this was Carina Hansen he was dealing with and so she wore no bra. He tried not to stare but her breasts were…perfect. He tried another tactic.

"Stop! Let me at least take off my shoes and socks. And don't complain if you get chilled. It's damned cold."

Ten minutes later a freezing Carina was wearing Chuck's coat and complaining that the heater in her rental was broken. Her dress stuck to her wet skin in all the places Chuck wished were still well hidden.

"You were right. I was wrong. Go ahead. Say it."

"Nah. It was worth it. The look on your face when the wave knocked you on your ass was incredible. Next time we'll bring towels and a blanket."

She reached over and grabbed his free warm hand and put it around her shoulders and tucked herself up against him. "I hope there is a next time, sweetie. I hope we have a lot more 'next times'." She reached up and grabbed the wrist of the arm around her and put his hand on her breast and held it there. "Mmm, promised you second base and I always keep my word." The nipple was hard under his palm and he gulped and she giggled.

"Chuck, I'm not going to rape you, honey. You need to relax around me. I like to have fun and sex is fun for me and usually the person I'm with. Don't you want to have fun, Chuck?" Her blue eyes were unlike Walker's. They weren't hooded.

"Carina, please don't rush me. I know you think it's lame but I really haven't had a lot of experience with…well, not since Jill and, just be patient, OK?"

* * *

It was after one when he pulled into the motel parking lot. She'd dozed off in the warmth of the heater. He hated to wake her but it was late and he had a 20-minute drive ahead of him.

"Carina, we're here. Give me your key. I'll carry you into the room and then I'll head on out for Burbank. It's late. Call me and let me know your schedule for tomorrow. If you're not busy, I'll buy you breakfast. Keys, Carina."

"Stay with me tonight, Chuck. The damned deal still stands but I want to wrap myself around your warm body. I'm still chilled. Please?"

"I'm not sure I can handle the temptation. A beautiful woman with a body that Aphrodite would envy, so close to me. I don't know…"

"Chuck…please?" She wanted to feel him around her if she couldn't have him in her.

"OK, but the deal…"

"Thank you" she said when she ended the kiss that ended his ramblings. For the briefest instant she wondered if Chuck was a virgin. He seemed so nervous about sex but the more she thought about it the more she found that thought to be ridiculous. _'No woman could resist the boyish charm and that devastating smile for long. But I wonder how long it's __really__ been since he…'_

* * *

Carina woke, senses on alert. She rolled over onto her back and reached out for Chuck but the bed was empty…and cold. She heard the shower running and glanced at the clock: 6:15am.

She debated going back to sleep but suddenly remembered that this would be their last full day together and she didn't want to miss a minute of it. She threw back the covers and shuddered. The room was chilly and she'd never really been an early morning person.

Making up her mind and grinning, she walked into the steam-warmed bathroom and slipped into the shower behind him wrapping her arms around his bare chest and letting the hot water pound down on her. Her fingers had minds of their own and started rubbing small circles in the soapy lather that covered his chest. As they roamed lower and lower he grabbed her wrists.

"Carina, don't, please. It's too early in our relationship and I know it's hard for you to understand but I don't just hop in the sack for something to do because I'm bored. It means something to me to share with the other person. Please…"

She slipped around in front of him and looked up at him and smiled. "OK. I understand. You're not into recreational sex, right?

"Sex signifies my commitment to one person to the exclusion of all others. I only date one girl at a time, Carina. Sounds stupid and immature and maybe unrealistic but it took me almost 5 years to get over the fiancée who cheated on me and then dumped me. I don't do casual sex. Lame, huh?"

"No, it's not lame. It's...nice. C'mon, you've hogged the shower enough. This might be our last full day together for a while and I don't want to waste a single minute of it. You promised me breakfast so get out and get dressed and feed me, sweetie."

"I have to meet with Walker for a while this afternoon. Handler/asset stuff. It should only take an hour or so. Then I'll take you to dinner someplace nice so you don't have to worry about the competition. I'll run you into the airport and wait and see how badly Fate has screwed me over. I don't want this 'thing' we have to end like this. Can you understand what I'm trying to say, Carina?"

"I feel exactly the same way. I've never wanted a normal life before and now it seems like that's all I want. We can be normal, can't we? Even though what we both do is not normal by anyone's definition."

"Let's see how things go for you in DC. Maybe you'll get a 'normal' assignment someplace that's not on the other side of the planet."

* * *

They spent the day doing touristy stuff and then it was time for Chuck to meet with Sarah at the Orange-Orange but they were still on the other side of town and with traffic he was going to be late so he called her to tell her he was on the way and to please wait for him.

Bryce was sitting on the balcony waiting for Sarah to finish her shower and dress for her meeting with Bartowski. Thursday night had marked a turning point in their relationship. Friday morning she'd returned from a conference call at the Orange-orange. She'd been crying but refused to explain anything to him, just saying that she had broken protocol for him and now she was in trouble.

That was all she said and she said very little to him since then. He'd figured out early on that Bartowski held her heart even when others held her body. This would be a 'last dance' night for the 'Bryce & Sarah' affair unless he 'discouraged' his friend.

Sarah had spent the remainder of the day shopping and pampering herself at a day spa. And now she was spending time getting all dolled up for an 'important meeting' with her asset.

Her phone rang and he saw it was Bartowski so he answered it without thinking. Chuck would understand.

"Larkin, secure. "

"Bartowski, secure. What are you doing answering her phone?"

"Hey, Chuck. Sarah's unavailable. Can I take a message for her? I'm staying through Tuesday. Maybe we could get together and talk about…"

"Not going to happen. I called to say I was running late for our meeting but I finally understand how things are. You two enjoy your time together. You don't see each other as much as you probably wish you could. Tell her…never mind. I'll see her at Castle on Monday. Stay safe, Bryce. I have to take someone to the airport."

The connection was severed and Larkin tossed the phone onto the bed just as Sarah came out of the bathroom in her robe and saw the phone bounce on the bed.

"You didn't answer my phone, did you? Who called and what was said?"

"That was Bartowski. He called saying he was running late but that no meeting was necessary because he finally understood how things were and that you and I should enjoy our time together since we don't get to see each other much. He said he'd see you at the Castle Monday. He was heading for the airport "

"You stupid idiot. You've ruined everything. He'll never understand or believe anything I tell him ever again. Oh, God. What am I going to do? How can I fix this? I don't want reassigned because of this."

"Calm down. Explain things to me, Sarah. You've been a cold fish since you came back from your video conference."

"Bryce, leave and don't ever come back, ever. If you do, I will kill you and claim you were an intruder." He'd never seen her so angry before.

"But Sarah…" She threw a knife at his head and he felt it brush past his ear. "Jesus, what's wrong with you? Are you nuts?"

"Get out, get out, get out! You've ruined everything." She shrieked at him.

Larkin grabbed his bag and packed and left. He was determined to find Bartowski and find out what was going on with Sarah.

She was crying so hard she couldn't breathe. He'd never believe her, never listen to her explanation, and never give her a second chance. She knew how he felt about honesty and loyalty. He'd view her behavior as proof she was just 'handling him'. Damn Larkin! He'd tell Beckman to have her reassigned and the bitch would be all too happy to comply.

* * *

Chuck angrily disconnected the call. Larkin! Well, it figured. She was a spy, a seductress, a handler. Damn her! She was _handling_ him. He didn't care if she and Larkin screwed themselves to death as long as she was honest with him as it affected the cover – and him.

"Chuck, please pull over and calm down. You're going to cause an accident, sweetie. Please pull over!" She'd never seen him this angry, this distraught – not even after he'd killed the four men who were chasing her.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just…damn it, she lied to me – again! So much for the trust she asked for." He pulled off onto the side of the road and got out and walked to the edge of the cliff and leaned against the railing. The ocean always had a calming effect on him.

Carina got out of the car and walked over and hugged him. "Chuck, it's how we are. It's how spies and operatives and agents operate in your world. It's not personal, Chuck. But I promise you that I will never lie to you or deceive you, even for your own good. I've kept my word so far, Chuck. Just don't give up on me, please?"

He rested his cheek against her hair and held her tightly waiting for the rage to pass. He was a fool to ever think Walker could ever have feelings for him. Now he wondered about Carina's motivation. Was he just 'filler', someone to fill her time until she got her next assignment? His life was so screwed up.

Carina knew what he was thinking. She'd think the same thing if their roles were reversed. Damn Walker for breaking this man's heart. She had her work cut out for her, rebuilding trust and convincing him everyday that she _chose_ him.

"Listen to me, Chuck Bartowski, and listen good. I want to be with you, spend time with you and see where 'us' ends up. I choose to be here with you. I choose you, understand? You're not my assignment, you're my choice."

* * *

Sarah had calmed down enough to think rationally and finally called Chuck to explain the whole "Larkin" thing and to beg, if she had to, for him to come over and just talk about their situation. She'd lay it all out for him and then get them both naked. She'd tell him that she 'loved' him and that Larkin was nothing more than a substitute for the man she couldn't have until now. She knew what buttons to push. He was only a man.

All her calls went right to voicemail and that meant either he'd selected 'ignore' for her calls or he'd turned his phone off. He wouldn't turn his phone off, ever. He was consciously ignoring her calls using his damned technology.

'_I should have fallen in love with a damned plumber not a tech wizard! At least my pipes would be…oh, that's just gross!'_

_Conscience: 'Hey! Don't blame it on me! It's your mind that provided the metaphors.'_

'_What am I going to do now? I've lost him to someone who doesn't have to play by the rules.'_

_Conscience: 'Set your own rules, girlfriend. Get nasty if you have to. All's fair in love and war, right? Fire up the seduction machine and break out the 'Handling the Mark' Manual. Like you said, he's just a man and men only want one thing? Push his buttons, Sarah. It might be fun, you never know. You've slept with worse men and well, we won't talk about the women you've seduced.'_

* * *

_APR_


	5. Smackdown & The ER

CarinaChuck5

2817

* * *

T/N: Thanks for the reviews. Apparently chapter 4 wasn't as well received. I've found 13 chapters so far. R&R and enjoy - APR's Wife!

* * *

The difficulty of tactical maneuvering consists in turning the devious into the direct, and misfortune into gain.  
- The Art of War - Sun Tzu

* * *

LAX

Chuck pulled into short-term parking and grabbed Carina's bag from the trunk before she could protest.

"Chuck, you didn't have to park and I'm quite capable of carrying my own luggage and besides, you can't really wait with me because you don't have a ticket. So, kiss me goodbye and head on home. I'll call and tell you all about the meeting."

The kiss started mildly then got insanely intense. His tongue was exploring her mouth and hers was dueling with his. She grabbed his butt and pulled him closer, moaning into his mouth, grinding her hips against him. She could feel his arousal and it was making her incredibly hot.

She blinked furiously when the kiss was done.

"Oh, my. I wish you were coming along, sweetie. We could join the mile high club. That was mean, Chuck. That was the most passionate you've been and I'm getting on a damned plane when all I want is to drag you off behind a car and screw your ears off."

"I like my ears where they are. That was just a 'hurry back' incentive. Now, go ahead, check in and I'll go home and take a cold shower." He laughed and his eyebrows danced.

She got serious for a minute. "Chuck, when I get back, we're going to have a long talk about us. Nothing demanding. Just us talking about us and setting some ground rules. And rule #1, Chuck, is 'Thou shalt not send thy girlfriend away after kissing her like there was no tomorrow.' OK?"

He laughed and kissed her again, not quite as intensely but just as passionately.

"Chuuuuuck, that's just mean."

"Then hurry home." He fixed her with a hungry look that sent chills down her spine and made her uterus twitch.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, sweetie. And then, rules be damned!"

"Have a safe flight. I'll pick you up if you text me your flight info."

"I'm looking forward to it. Hang on to the car. It's got a big backseat." She threw him a saucy look and then walked across to enter the terminal. Chuck watched until she was out of sight then sighed and drove back to Burbank. She was the sexiest woman he'd ever encountered. He started to compare her with Walker but stopped and chided himself. '_I can't get over her if all I do is compare and contrast every other woman to her. I need to forget her and move on._

* * *

Bryce Larkin was waiting in the courtyard of the apartments, sitting on the fountain when Chuck walked in. The drive had taken longer than he'd planned and he was wearing down. They'd been up at the crack of dawn and been on the go the whole day and he'd loved every minute he spent with her.

"Bartowski, I've been waiting for you. I need to talk to you about your relationship with Sarah."

"There's nothing to talk about since there's nothing between us. She's my handler, Larkin, nothing more." He walked past Bryce toward his apartment. He hoped he'd sounded believable. _He_ finally believed it.

Casey had been following Chuck's movements via GPS during the day and was glad he'd finally gotten home so Casey could get some sleep. He walked out into the courtyard and heard the exchange between Larkin and his asset and stepped back into the shadows. Chuck didn't need his interference and he didn't want the younger man to think he was being closely watched, although he was.

"Don't turn your back on me, Bartowski. She got hysterical about me answering her phone and threw me out. She says she loves you or some such nonsense and that I ruined her chances. Sarah Walker and Chuck Bartowski…never happen."

"You're right, 'never happen'. I'm sure it's just her reaction to being censured for breaking protocol. That's all this is about so go back and pick up where you left off. Just don't let her turn off her phone, OK? G'night, Larkin."

"Don't you patronize me, Bartowski. You're damned right there's nothing between you. You got the DEA whore in your pocket. Sarah called me to come here, not the other way around."

"Watch your mouth about Hansen. Go back to Walker's room. She's over her tantrum by now and I'm sure she never said what you thought she said. She denied it under truth serum so it's not true." Bryce grabbed Chuck by the shoulder and spun him around.

"I'm warning you…stay away from Walker. Go fuck your whore…" Larkin was in his face. Thoughts of what Larkin had taken from him at Stanford, his future, his fiancée, Walker and then his comment about Carina flashed through his mind. It all merged into one honest reaction that spoke well of Stanford's required PE courses for engineers and other couch potatoes. He'd had two years of IM boxing. He got 'C's' and was damned glad to get them.

Two short left jabs and Larkin was down on his knees holding his ruined nose. Chuck felt outside his body when he saw his fist rise up and then smash into Larkin's jaw, putting him down and out.

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he slammed his head back into the face of whoever had grabbed him, totally out of control but tapping recent hand-to-hand training. He'd never really fought with anyone outside of the ring before and it felt really good.

"Sonofabitch! Stop fighting me. Calm down. You put him down for the count, Rocky, and he was asking for it. Just…don't do anything rash. Graham's going to shit a brick over this. I'll be in your corner so it should just blow over."

He let him go and then took out his cell phone to call Walker to come get her boyfriend when he saw Chuck slam his fist again and again into the stone flashing of the apartment. He winced. Broken fingers, knuckles, and possible damage to the wrist.

"Chuck, stop!" He grabbed him by the arm to stop a third blow to the stone covering. He grabbed his damaged hand and looked at it. Compound finger fractures, broken knuckles and the hand was rapidly swelling. "Smooth move, moron. Ya busted your hand and need to hit the ER. Your sister's going to kick your ass, Chuck. And Walker's going to be pissed you ruined Larkin's good looks for a while."

"Sorry about the head butt, Casey. I wasn't thinking straight. Really, man. I'm sorry. I just…lost my temper. Shit, this hurts! I'm so sick of Walker and her games and Larkin pushed when I told him not to. I guess she isn't handling her censure well at all." He groaned and held his bleeding hand up and then groaned again.

"Moron, I don't think Walker knows that Larkin's even here. How did your little talk this afternoon go? Work everything out? We all good to go again?" He needed to get him to the ER. Get him to focus on something other than the pain.

"She apologized and I accepted it then she wanted to meet and discuss the cover but I was running late and called to tell her I'd be delayed and Larkin answered the phone. The rest is history. I don't need this drama. She's got Larkin outside the cover and there's nothing more to be said. Yeah, Casey, we're good to go." He'd groaned several times during his comments and had stopped to catch his breath a couple of times. He was getting dizzy and sick to his stomach. A real macho man.

"Well, let's get this one back to his car and then we've got to get you to the ER. Thought you geeks didn't believe in violence? First you wipe out a buncha scumbag dealers and now you take out a trained agent…Pow pow pow."

"Maybe we need to take him to the ER. He's bleeding like a stuck pig. Must have sharp bones or something."

"Well, help me get him on his feet and I'll call Walker to come get him at the ER when he's done. Y'know, Chuck, if you hang with Carina you're going to have to develop a thick skin. She's got a well-earned reputation and you can't beat the shit out of half the DEA and the occasional CIA agent if someone says something."

"Let's get him to the ER. I don't want to explain how a CIA agent died in the courtyard, OK? I've got to hose off all this blood before Ellie sees it."

* * *

Burbank General Hospital  
Emergency Room

The doctor finished resetting and packing Larkin's nose and gave him ice packs and ibuprofen for the pain. Chuck's self-inflicted injury was more serious and took longer to treat. Casey called Walker to come pick up her boyfriend at the ER. He'd take care of getting Bartowski home.

"What! Chuck's hurt? In the ER? I'll be right there."

Casey grinned and snapped the phone shut. This was going to be interesting. At least they were all in the right place for any more violence. He wished he'd brought popcorn.

Burbank General Hospital  
ER Exam #4

"Ellie, it's no big deal. I got in a fight and then lost my temper over it. You know I have a temper and Larkin brings out the worst in me. I'm sorry they dragged you down here from your duties. I know you're tired…"

"Larkin? _BRYCE _Larkin? You beat the shit out of Bryce Larkin? Oh, Chuck, I'm so proud of you. Finally giving that RatBastard what he's so long deserved. All I can say is 'it's about damned time'. So, you busted all this on his face?"

"No. Not exactly. I put him down and then lost my temper with myself and punched the stonewall outside the apartment. Dumb, I know. But I was so mad at him and ashamed of myself for letting him get my goat."

"I'm going to go check on him and then I'll be right back. You'll need stitches after the x-rays. I know how much you love needles." Her laughter at the look on her brother's face followed her down the hall.

Sarah had just left Larkin's exam room and was in search of Chuck's room. She ran into Ellie who gave her a terse and _very_ cool run-down of his injuries leaving out his exhibit of temper. Ellie gave her a 'go to hell, slut' look and left to answer a page.

'_So Larkin was Sarah's ex that she just couldn't get over? She dumped Chuck for a scumbag. Chuck will never forgive her for this, never.'_

She mentally crossed Sarah off any future bridesmaid lists. So not going to happen.

She ran into Casey. "Walker! Come to take Larkin home? Good. I'll wait for the moron, er, Chuck. He'll be here for some time, I'm afraid. X-rays, some bone work and definitely some stitches. He's in exam room #4."

"That bastard? I can't believe he beat him so badly! X-rays? Stitches? I'll kill him." She tore off to find Chuck and then she'd deal with Larkin. Casey stopped her.

"Walker, you got it all wrong. Chuck's injury was…self-inflicted. Larkin never touched him. Two jabs and a right cross and your boytoy was in La-la land. Chuck made me bring Bryce here. When the doc's done with him, take him back to your place. I'll run interference with Graham and Beckman."

"Casey, suppose he doesn't want to come back to my place?"

"Why wouldn't he? He told Chuck he's staying until Tuesday and that it wasn't a casual 'drop by'. Larkin told Chuck you called _him_."

"Oh, you mean take Bryce back to my place? But I threw him out. He's going to have to fend for himself. I'm done with him. I have a new objective, and I won't fail him, not again."

"Well, you got competition. He and Carina might have something going unless her DC meeting results in a transfer."

"Yeah, like to Paraguay or Bolivia or Tierra del Fuego or Lower Patagonia or…"

"I get the idea. You're on your own with this soap opera. The moron's not dumb. He knows how you've played him and he's not a happy camper. The whole phone thing really drove his situation home. Don't look for a lovesick Chuck any more. I told you he's changed. Still can't put my finger on it but I'll figure it out."

"Casey, I did not play him. You know the rules. I couldn't do anything. But rules change and now I have a new objective. Carina's toast if she does come back."

"They've been pretty much inseparable since the Thursday night incident, spending the nights at her motel and the days doing tourist things. I think you're in for a real battle, partner. You shit in your mess kit with Larkin."

"Damn it, Casey…"

"Hey, he told Larkin there was nothing between you two, that you'd denied it under truth serum. Then Larkin…well, did something stupid. Chuck's got fast hands for a nerd pacifist." He laughed and went to offer Bryce a ride to a motel figuring to keep the combatants separated.

* * *

She stood outside the exam room waiting for Chuck to get back from x-ray. She heard his cell phone's distinctive ring tone and went in to find it.

"Sarah Walker." She didn't recognize the area code.

"Sarah, it's Carina. Where's Chuck? Why are you answering his phone? Is anything wrong?" Sarah did not like the quality of concern in her voice. Evil Sarah emerged and attacked with deceptive maneuvers.

"He's unavailable, Carina. Can I take a message? I'm waiting for him to finish showering and then we're going over to my place."

There was a moment of silence and then laughter.

"Nice try, Walker. I was standing there after he spoke with Larkin on the phone. I'm the one who calmed him down. He was driving when Larkin took his call to you. I don't know exactly what your boyfriend said to Chuck but I've never seen him so angry, not even Thursday night and I thought he was really pissed then."

"We're at the ER. He and Bryce got into it. Bryce was apparently dogging him about something and words were exchanged and then punches. Well, not an exchange of punches. Chuck hit Bryce hard three times."

"So you took Bryce to the ER? My Chuck, the gentleman who says 'excuse me' when he bumps into a piece of furniture, my Chuck put Bryce Larkin in the ER?"

"He's here too. Lost his temper and punched a stonewall. I don't know the full extent of his injuries but Ellie would be hovering if they were severe. Casey and Chuck brought Bryce to the ER. I came when Casey called for me to take Chuck home."

"Liar. He called you to pick up Larkin, not Chuck. Quit trying so damned hard, Walker. I'm not going to believe anything you say so just tell Chuck I'm in Chicago due to weather and I'll call him as promised from DC."

"Fine. Believe what you want, skank. I'm his handler and I control his time and that means I control who he sees. Enjoy the pampas of Argentina, Carina. I hear gauchos do it on horseback."

"Game on, Walker. You had your chance but mucked it up. You lied to him, deceived him and then tried to make it look like the Agency was at fault. If you really wanted him, you'd have turned cover dating into the real thing and wouldn't need Larkin poking you on booty calls. I'm done arguing with you, Agent Walker. Please give my sweetie the message."

Every atom in her body aligned to throw the cell phone at the wall. _"My Chuck? My sweetie?'_ And she'd seen through her like glass. Game on, indeed, and the first victory went to Hansen who hadn't even been involved.

She sighed and carefully replaced the cell in Chuck's coat pocket and then went to find Larkin and talk to him. He owed her and now it was time for some payback.

* * *

Ellie stopped Sarah in the hallway and told her to go home. Chuck was scheduled for an 'ortho' at 6am and was spending the night. Seeing the look of fear on her face, she briefly explained that he'd broken bones in his fingers, knuckle joints and in his hand.

"Sarah, the human hand is not meant to punch stone. He'll be in a partial cast and probably on short-term disability from the Buy More. That's between him and Big Mike though. He's doped up and I'll stay and then bring him home in the morning when I'm off shift. They won't keep him once he's out of recovery. That scumbag Larkin's made a mess of Chuck's life. I wish he'd done more damage to Bryce and less to himself."

"Thanks, Ellie. Tell him…never mind. I'll tell him myself. I'll call you in the morning."

"Don't bother yourself, Sarah. I'm sure you'll have your hands full tending to Larkin and won't need the interruption," she said coldly. She wanted to rip those blonde curls out by the roots for two-timing her brother and lying to him but she was a doctor and this was her hospital. Maybe later.

* * *

A shaken Sarah dropped Larkin off at a motel after picking up his luggage from his rental car. She made arrangements to have it picked up since he was in no condition to drive. Part of her was appalled that Chuck had beaten Bryce so badly that his eyes were both swollen almost totally shut. Another part of her was thrilled that the meek man she handled had begun showing what he was made of. She had been hurt by Ellie's curt tone and her cutting comments. She had a lot of repair work to do with Chuck's sister.

Her conversation with Larkin had gone surprisingly well although he didn't think so. He couldn't believe that Bartowski had somehow ensnared Sarah in some nerdish way and that he had lost her totally to the big dork. He'd misjudged Chuck twice and both times he'd come out on the shitty end of the stick. If he was offered the opportunity for a third 'contest' he wasn't sure he could win. Bartowski had changed.

* * *

Sarah drove back to her hotel and made plans for the next few days. She had no idea what Carina's big meeting in DC was about and until she had some idea of the enemy's position, she'd wait and work quietly in background to soften Chuck up without making it appear that she was doing anything other than being his handler and friend, something she had no idea how to do.

Maybe it was time to seal the deal and bind him to her in the age-old way and eliminate any reason for him wanting Hansen. Sex would bind him to her just like it did with all the others.

It wouldn't be a first for her. It would just be the first time she actually wanted it.

* * *

APR


	6. Night & Daymares

CarinaChuck6

T/N: Read this chapter carefully

* * *

Casa Bartowski  
Next Morning

Chuck was still groggy from the anesthetic he'd been given and was lying in his bed cursing himself for losing his temper. His hand was throbbing and the cast weighed at least 40 lbs and he was feeling sorry for himself. He recognized the signs and berated himself for being childish. Done feeling sorry for himself, he took 2 of the pills Ellie said were for pain and would put him to sleep. He pulled the covers over his head and waited for relief and sleep.

It seemed like he'd only been asleep a few minutes when he felt Ellie prodding him and saying "Chuck, Carina Hansen is on the phone for the third time. Please wake up and talk to her, little brother. The woman sounds more desperate each time she calls. And this is the most awake you've been."

"Fine. Where's the phone?" It was 6 inches from his face but he couldn't focus. Whatever chemicals were in that pill were gifts from the Gods themselves. His hand wasn't throbbing at all.

"'Lo, this is Chuck."

"Hey, Chuck, it's Carina. Are you lying down? Feel like talking for a few minutes?"

"Yep, what's new in DC? You got a new overseas assignment, didn't you? You're not coming back. That's why you called, right? I knew it. Just when I find someone… Fate screws us over."

She was laughing and Chuck just stared at the phone. "No, no, no, you big goof. I _did_ get a new assignment. I'm coming home, baby. I'm the new Assistant Supervisor of Operations for SoCal. I'm based in L.A., Chuck!"

"When are you coming home, honey? I kinda messed myself up so don't be too shocked or anything. I broke my hand…and knuckles…oh, and four of my fingers. It doesn't hurt. Got some good DEA-approved drugs. I can't figure out how this cast will fit through a shirtsleeve though. I guess I'll need help getting dressed. Know anyone who'd like to volunteer to help the temporarily handicapped?"

"Chuck, what happened? I called to tell you my flight got diverted and Walker took the call. You beat up Larkin and then smashed your hand against a stonewall? Baby, you have got to get control of your temper. Anyhow, I'll be flying in tomorrow afternoon. Do you feel up to meeting my flight or should I just take a shuttle? Don't push yourself. It's no big deal."

"I'll meet your flight. Text me the data. I'll be right as rain this time tomorrow."

"Um, Chuck, Ellie said you've been out 20 hours. Are you sure you weren't hurt worse than you said?"

"No. I got a low tolerance for painkillers, that's all. I miss you, honey, and I'm glad you're coming home. We'll have to find you a classy apartment suitable for someone in your new and lofty position."

"Chuck…about that. I have a fully furnished DEA apartment. It's regulations and comes with the assignment. Very secure. You'll need to get an ID card and a gate pass for your Herder. It's in North Hollywood about 20 minutes from Burbank."

"Cool. Listen, text me the flight info. This phone is really heavy and I'm still sleepy. I'm so happy for you. And proud, too. My girlfriend - the DEA bureaucrat."

"You're higher than a kite, Bartowski. Watch for my text. Go back to sleep and rest up. You're going to need your strength, big boy."

"Bye, 'rina, love ya'."

* * *

Carina stared at the phone, the ghost of a smile on her face. He was higher than a kite but still, 'Rina' was her nickname and only special people got to use it. He used it. He was definitely special. The 'love ya' part, well, that was definitely chemically enhanced Chuck but it still made her feel all warm and appreciated. She wondered if she could get an earlier flight?

Sarah Walker knocked at the door and wondered just how Chuck was handling Ellie and explaining Carina's appearance and Sarah's 'cover girlfriend's' gradual fading from the scene. Well, it was his problem but not for much longer.

She'd talked with Graham and 'suggested' that since Chuck was showing signs of some 'emotional strain' as evidenced by his loss of temper and subsequent assault on an Agent (Larkin) that a qualified agent (her) be part of his cover 24/7. Sarah and Chuck were moving in together and a CIA-approved apartment was being prepared for them.

"Sarah! Hi. Chuck's just waking up. He's been in La-la-land since he took those pain pills. He's been asleep for the past 20 hours. Go on back. I've got to get to work. Tell Chuck there's enough leftovers in the 'fridge for the both of you. See if you can get him to talk about what happened. That boy's temper is going to be the death of him some day. Well, gotta go. Bye."

Sarah didn't even have time to respond, ask a question or just say 'Bye' before Ellie was gone. Smiling because she was alone with him for the first time since the 'incident' at her hotel, she dropped her purse off on the kitchen table and went back to check on her asset/cover boyfriend.

"Hey, Chuck, you decent? It's Sarah. Ellie left us dinner in the 'fridge. Can I come in?" No response. "Chuck, are you all right, sweetie? Chuck? I'm coming in…"

He was asleep and it was all she could do to control her impulse to strip and lay down beside him and just be with him. She sat on the bed and ran her fingers through his cropped hair and sighed. She missed the curls. This haircut made him look older and…something else she couldn't quite express.

"Chuck, wake up. Ellie left us dinner in the fridge. C'mon, Chuck. This is the perfect opportunity for us to get naked and do all kinds of kinky things to each other…Chuck?" He was cold. His limbs were stiff. He was clutching a crumpled piece of tablet paper in his undamaged hand. He was dead. Suicide. The spilled pill bottle, the broken water glass. The note explained it all.

She sat up in bed and couldn't catch her breath. It was just a dream. Thank God it was just a dream. She was soaked with sweat and couldn't stop shaking. The dream was so real. And the note…she couldn't remember exactly what it said but it was horrible enough to actually wake her up. He killed himself so she could be free to be with Bryce. That's what the note said. '_You're free. Go be with Bryce_.'

* * *

She glanced at the clock, checked her notes and saw that Ellie and Devon were on shift for another 6 hours and jumped in the shower and drove to Chuck's apartment. On the way she called Casey.

"Casey, secure."

"Walker, secure. Kill your bugs. I'm going to have a chat with Mr. Bartowski and I'm sure you're going to want to be excused from listening to it. Please, John?"

She rarely called him anything but Casey.

"Yeah, OK, partner. But I won't help dispose of the body. You know Hansen's been assigned here to the L.A. Regional Office. I think they're getting serious about one another so be careful and make damned sure this is what you want, Sarah."

"I'm _very _sure. And yes, it's exactly what I want. Thanks, Casey. I owe you one." She would not lose her job and career because of something so silly or trivial. Hansen's words slammed into her: 'if you wanted more, you'd have just turned cover into reality.' Well, it was what her subconscious remembered, conveniently forgetting the parts about Larkin poking her on booty calls.

He answered with an amused grunt and closed his phone. He had no intention of disabling the audio bugs just the video.

She parked across the street and walked directly to the Morgan door. A quick manipulation of the lock with her lock pick and she was inside his bedroom. In the feeble light she could make out the top of his shortened hair. She slipped off her raincoat and kicked off her sandals and slipped in beside him.

"Chuck? Chuck? Wake up, Chuck. We need to talk." He mumbled something and rolled over. She moved closer to him, molding herself to his bare back. Damn it – he was wearing boxers!

She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled his ear and ran a string of kisses down his neck. He mumbled something unintelligible and rolled over and wrapped his arms around her. He nuzzled her hair, inhaled and murmured "Sarah" and slipped back to sleep.

She smiled and was surprised the room wasn't bathed in light. Her heart soared and she felt a thrill of hope course through her. He recognized her scent even in his sleep. His subconscious was her ally.

She slowly pulled and tugged and finally got his boxers off and she threw them out of the bed. She felt a moment of guilt but then fixed her mind on her prize and let her hand roam across his stomach. He responded to her caresses as a man does. She started kissing his cheek, his jaw and then moving up to his ear.

"Chuck, I love you. I can say it now. Casey's turned off the bugs. Don't give up on me, sweetheart. I know you love me and I've disappointed you so many times but no more. This is the real deal, Chuck, outside the cover and in public. Just like you wanted all this time."

"Huh? Sarah? What the hell…you're naked! What…?"

"Hush, it's OK. I love you. This is the way I've always wanted it to be but I was afraid. Well, no longer. I'm committed to you and to us, baby. We're going to have a relationship under the cover…"

"What about Bryce? You called him, Sarah. You wanted to be with him. You blew me off for him. Why…why should I trust you? You lied to me and then lied about the lie. How do I know you're not lying now and this is all for the damned job?"

"I'm sorry. I was so lonely and I couldn't have you so I just went back to my old ways. I'm so ashamed but the job…always the damned job. We can be just what you wanted us to be: a real couple."

"I don't trust you, Sarah. I'm afraid you'll just revert to Agent Walker when the chips are down. You value your job over anyone or anything. It's what defines you – the job. I can't risk my heart with someone who has so many other agendas. I love you, but I'm trying to not love you. You have my heart, damn you, but not my trust. And you can't keep the one without having the other."

"Chuck, don't say that, please! I'll…I'll do anything to earn your trust back. I don't know how or what it will take but don't give up on me. I've risked so much for you in the past, give me time, baby. I'll win your trust and I'll prove I deserve your heart."

"How?"

"I need to think about this. I – I – I know I hurt you with the way I behaved with Bryce. I know I was unfair to you but this is unfair to me. I risked a lot asking for the OK to have a 'sanctioned' relationship with an asset, an awful lot and you're throwing it all in my face."

"Really? So this is more about pride than love. See, it's the damned job again. Your image on the job. Well, I risk a lot every damned day for YOUR damned job. I get no check. I get no benefits and someday Casey will kill me. So excuse the fuck outta me if I feel I need to have a little trust in the woman I love."

"But Chuck…"

"You need to leave. Make up your mind. Take all the time you need. God knows, I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck in a dead end job loving a woman who I don't trust and who has life and death control over me. Can you for one second put yourself in my shoes? You're free, Sarah. Go be with Bryce if that's what it takes to make you happy. I just want you to be happy."

"I'll leave. I need time. I guess I made an assumption and now it's bitten me in the ass. I'll…I'll let you know my decision. If I decide to transfer you'll be the first to know. Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

She got up, slipped on her sandals, put on and belted her raincoat and left via the Morgan door.

Casey intercepted her in the courtyard. Her face looked like it had been chiseled from fine white marble. This was the last sight many of her marks ever saw before she killed them. Casey felt a moment's pity for Chuck. She was the consummate seductress who'd just been turned down for all the right reasons and she wasn't taking it well at all. Pride.

"Can you put yourself in his shoes, Sarah? He's right. He has to be able to trust you. He has in the past. Work with it. You can do it. All it will take is time – unless you really _are_ playing him. You never said word one to me about having a sanctioned relationship approved by your director. Maybe it slipped your mind, _partner_, but it has an impact on how we do our jobs, how we protect, how we relate to him."

"I'm sorry. I'm just so confused and so much has happened in the past week. I need to get my head together and decide what I want."

"If you have to do that, then you went in there _without the commitment_ you asked him to have. Either you do or you don't. You said everything right except the one damned thing he needed to hear more than 'I love you'. He needed to hear that he was more important to you than the job."

"But he knows that, Casey. I'm taking a hell of a chance pursuing this outside the cover…" Casey wondered if she really did have permission or if she was pulling out the Manual and working the control tips.

"All you have to lose is a job. He could lose his freedom, or worse, his life. Have you considered what happens if we're tasked with disposing of him? Have you? You talk about trust but you don't know what it really means to him. It means he comes first, always, just like he puts you first, always."

"I – I – I need to think. I love him, John. He's all I want in life, just him. How can I convince him it's real? I have to contend with his dating Carina. I understand his attraction, his need for something outside this nightmare he's trapped in, but how am I suppose to show him trust when he's out screwing that damned skank?"

"He's not screwing her. He told her he doesn't have casual sex. He told her it's a token of commitment and he's not ready to commit to her."

"He told you that?"

"Nah. I bugged her motel room. He's my asset and my responsibility. You don't think for one minute I'd let him roam free without lo-jacking and bugging the car, bugging her room and keeping an eye on things do you, CIA? I've grown to respect the moron and I trust him but not her, understand?"

"Oh, God, Casey, that's wonderful. Thank you! It means I still have a chance. Once she's out of the picture…" She'd talk with Graham about that. Eliminate the competition outright or scare it off.

"Don't blow it. And like I told you before, if you can't commit to him body and soul, leave and go back to where you're comfortable. He's given you the only thing he can, Sarah, the freedom of choice. Don't dishonor his gift. It's the one thing he's free to give - something he no longer has. Ironic, don't ya think?"

* * *

_We're comfortable with Bryce, aren't we? We don't have to trust him; we don't care if he trusts us and we don't have to surrender any of our precious control to get him to sleep with us. Chuck is too damned immature and needy. All he thinks about is him. Oh, he loves us but we don't need love, just the occasional booty call. Spies don't love, love makes us weak._

_Shut up! You make me sound like…just shut up!_

_I make you sound like what you are…a user. You'll use him up and cast him aside and return to Bryce. He doesn't call you his Boom-Boom-Boomerang Girl for nothing. You need Bryce because he's just like Daddy! And when they kill Chuck he'll be waiting. He'll always be waiting. Just like Daddy was._

_GRRRRRRRRRRRR!_


	7. She's Got Her Fangs Out!

CarinaChuck7  
2596

* * *

T/N: This chapter is freaky-Sarah and some interesting historical stuff. Review, pls. And thanks for all the alerts and favorites. I finally figured out how to follow 'traffic'. Nik aka APR's Wife!

* * *

Chuck woke up wondering if it was all just a very bad dream but when he checked, the Morgan door was unlocked. She'd been here. It wasn't a dream. He was so screwed.

He got a text from Carina with her flight information. He needed to break it off with her to keep her safe. The irony wasn't lost on him. He was breaking up with his real girlfriend so his cover girlfriend wouldn't do something drastic to eliminate the competition for the sake of her job.

He'd give it a while. See how things went. Maybe Fate would smile on him and Sarah would transfer out to be with Bryce. She must have been given an ultimatum by her Director if she pulled the stunt she did last night. God, the pressure she must be under. He felt sorry for her. He still loved her but he just couldn't bring himself to trust her any longer. She had her own agenda and then there was her trysts with Larkin.

* * *

Castle

John Casey rarely interfered in the lives of others unless it was to terminate said lives so when he found himself standing in the Castle discussing an incredible intrusion into the lives of his partner and his asset no one was more surprised than Beckman was.

"Major Casey, you're suggesting that I order Agent Walker and Mr. Bartowski to move in together, establish a relationship, and offer Mr. Bartowski a job so he can quit the Buy More?"

"Yes, ma'am, although not so much a job as a paycheck for what he does as the intersect. It won't hurt to increase his sense of self worth. You see how he's changed in the last week or so. He seems to have found a purpose."

"Major Casey, John, I'm not stupid. What's going on here? You have permission to speak freely. This is so out-of-character for you that there must be something monumental at stake here that I just can't see."

"I'm trying to save Team Intersect and the project from disaster."

"You have my undivided attention, Major." Beckman's eyes narrowed. Anything that threatened the project threatened _her_.

"Ma'am, Walker told Chuck they could have a relationship outside the cover. She's compromised, but the moron, I mean Bartowski, no longer trusts her. He loves her but he doesn't trust her. With Chuck it's all about trust. He trusts me and we get along and he's coming along. But there's a fly in the ointment."

"Yes, Agent Hansen. You know she's been assigned to the DEA's L.A. office as assistant regional supervisor. She'll be an outside influence on Mr. Bartowski that's immeasurable at this time. What's your opinion?"

"Well, Ma'am, I bugged her car, her motel room and her luggage. I've heard nothing that leads me to believe she has anything other than Bartowski's best interests at heart. She's good for him in a strange way. I think she's the catalyst for the changes we've seen in him. They started when they first got together and they've continued since then."

"Then why should I break them up by insisting that Bartowski move in with Walker?"

"Because if you don't, he'll fall for Hansen just like she's falling for him. He'll be difficult to handle, more assertive and aggressive and that means trouble for the intersect team. You'll have to transfer Walker and that would be the end of a good agent and Bartowski would blame himself and we'd be back to square one."

"Oh, Major, on the contrary, I think it means that our Mr. Bartowski is showing skills and maturity we haven't seen before. I'll discuss your request with Director Graham but I think it's fair to tell you that I like Hansen and Bartowski together. Walker's been disloyal to her asset, distrustful, deceitful…a typical CIA agent. She's put her own needs above those of her asset's and she's clueless why he has lost trust in her?"

"General, you don't know how Bartowski thinks. He'll analyze the situation with Walker and realize that he has to dump Carina to save her from Walker and the CIA. He knows that the CIA has long arms. He'll protect Hansen the only way he can – by ending any relationship for her own safety. He doesn't trust Walker at all. He doesn't believe she's committed to regaining his trust. He'll look at it from the CIA's point of view and act to protect Hansen."

"Major, I'll recommend compensation for Bartowski. Getting him out of the Buy More will mean more operational time. That's a winner. As for the living arrangements – Agent Walker must initiate it and I doubt seriously that Graham will agree with it."

"I'll wait for the briefing tomorrow and for your recommendations and instructions. Thank you, general."

"Major Casey, one other thing. I reviewed your 'incident report' regarding Mr. Bartowski's injury to his hand. I trust there's no permanent damage?" She had a twinkle in her eye that Casey found unusual.

"No, ma'am. Bartowski's got a temper and it's manifesting itself more and more, probably because of the stress he's under. Ellie, his sister, told me he has a normal recovery period to look forward to and pain killers in his immediate future."

"Good. What is your opinion of the incident? Did he have sufficient cause to assault Agent…oh, yes, I see, Agent Larkin. Well, that explains a lot."

"Yes, ma'am. Larkin kept badgering him and he kept walking away. Finally Larkin grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. Two quick left jabs and a right cross later, Larkin was out cold. Bartowski's injury was self-inflicted, another byproduct of his temper."

"Very well. If it comes up with Director Graham, I'll handle it. He just keeps unfolding like a flower, doesn't he?"

"More like finding layers in an onion, ma'am. I used to think Bartowski was a pansy, now, I think the boy's got wire in his craw and just finding it. Again, Hansen was the ultimate trigger. I told Chuck if he was going to hang with Hansen he'd better get a thick skin."

"Better add hand-to-hand combat to his training schedule, Major. He might need it. Thank you." She laughed and Casey paled. Only twice before had he heard the General laugh and each time someone died. The video conference ended and Casey was still standing pondering how things had gone to hell so fast.

* * *

Beckman smiled and pulled a folder from her safe and reviewed the contents and made a few notes. If the asset development program she'd initiated began to bear fruit, she'd have the intersect in the mind of a trained agent. It was only a matter of time.

Hansen's appearance on the scene produced just the desired effect necessary to start the program. Three months to settle in and then she'd take Walker's place on the team after being transferred to the NSA, of course.

She sent an email to Major Casey ordering an increase in training for Bartowski in all aspects of agent development.

Then she sent an email to her Director of Special Operations outlining a domestic operation and the need for secrecy and speed. She was precise in the method and cover to be employed.

Satisfied, she cleaned off her desk and went home.

* * *

Casa Bartowski

His whole arm felt like it was broken. The throbbing was almost unbearable. Chuck took two more of Ellie's wonder pills and went back to bed. He was asleep within seconds, exhausted from doing nothing more than thinking.

When his sister came home and checked on him she was surprised he was still asleep. She counted the pills and figured that the pain must have been pretty bad since he'd taken the maximum daily dosage. Ruffling his hair, she pressed a quick kiss against his brow and closed the door.

* * *

Sarah Walker finally gave in and took one of Bryce's many calls. He was looking for a ride to the airport and he wanted to discuss exactly what was going on with his former partner.

She was behaving erratically and he felt duty-bound to see what he could do to help her. Their four-year affair and partnership might be over but he still had feelings for her. He was concerned for her mental health. Sometimes it was the little things that rendered elite agents unstable and untrustworthy.

"Bryce, all you can do is leave. That's the best thing you can do right now. I've screwed up and I have to find a way to get back to what Chuck and I had before last week. I love him, Bryce. I need to rebuild his trust if I'm going to be able to keep him. You know Chuck. It's all about trust and you know how he feels if he thinks he's been betrayed."

"Then here's some free advice. Tell him just what you told me. He's a very forgiving man. If his feelings for you are real, and I don't know if they are or not, he'll come around. Don't push it. Don't force it. It'll come with time. BUT…if you're just trying to get him back for the sake of pride, do yourself a favor…don't. You're always welcome by my side, Sarah. Don't hurt him for the sake of your damned pride! Remember the mark in Berne? You just had to prove you could work your magic on him. Remember how well that turned out? It's almost the same situation here except it's another woman. Then it was a wife."

"Hey, I didn't push him out that window. The mission was over and we had to leave. I'd gotten what I needed and he was no longer useful. Bryce, I'll take your comments under advisement. I'll pick you up in an hour and take you to the airport."

"You were living with him for over 3 months and seeing me on the side. He'd left a wife and children for you…you told me you'd developed 'feelings' for him, too, remember? You were going to leave the agency…"

"I'll pick you up in an hour. Be ready. I really don't need your lectures about how to get a man between my legs, Bryce. No one made you come to Burbank. All I had to do was ask. One hour."

* * *

Carina called Chuck to remind him to pick her up but cautioned that if his hand was giving him too much trouble she'd take the shuttle.

"Nope. I'm good. I just had a great nap and I'll see you in six hours. I'm glad you're coming home. I miss you, Carina, and I can't wait to see you again, baby."

"OK, I'll see you in six hours. Don't speed with my rental car. Remember, I signed for it." She laughed and hung up. In seven hours she planned to be in the arms of her boyfriend, trying like mad to seduce him but willing to settle for some heavy making out. She laughed and the stewardess smiled.

"Going home? Got a hot date?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah. You get the same look on your face I do when I talk to my husband before the last leg of a trip."

Husband. Husband? She'd settle for boyfriend for the time being. She laughed and boarded the plane. Six hours.

* * *

LAX Arrivals

Chuck parked in short-term parking, grabbed the bouquet of daisies he'd picked up from a roadside vendor and walked across the busy street to the arrivals concourse of the terminal. He was a few minutes early but he didn't want to be late.

He found a display and located her flight and which baggage claim area was assigned and walked down and waited. The PA system announced the flight's arrival. A few minutes later and he was holding Carina in his arms and pillaging her mouth with his. When the kiss ended she whimpered and then opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hey, fella, feel like giving a girl a ride into town? I'll make it worth your while…" she leered seductively and batted her eyelashes at him.

"I'm waiting for my sweet thing, sorry. I was just practicing my 'home at last' kiss. Sorry. I'm taken." He smiled. She loved being teased as long as it was humorous and not snarky.

"Well, I think you need more practice. How about trying that again?"

This time he relaxed and let things build in intensity and passion and when he broke off the kiss they were both out of breath. "Wow, Chuck, that's…wait here."

She walked away and stepped behind a pillar and then came back out and squealed "Baby, I'm home!" and ran to him (as quickly as 4-inch heels and a tight skirt would allow) and pulled him into a kiss that left little doubt about where things were headed.

"That was even better than the practice kisses. Let me grab my bags and let's go home, Chuck. You look tired and worn, sweetie. How's the hand? And why aren't you wearing a sling? Shouldn't you be wearing a sling?"

"I couldn't drive with the sling. It's no big deal. You can drive back to Burbank. Two hands are better than one. And I never exceeded the speed limit in your rental. See. Respect even in the little things." He laughed and grabbed one of her bags and offered her his arm.

"Chuck, I changed motels. I got one closer to the office. The apartment won't be ready for another week or two and I hate to drive in L.A. The traffic is horrible. I get to turn in this rental and get a pool car even though I'm on vacation for the next week. I'll show you how I can drive with the best of them on the PCH."

"NO! Please. I don't need a demonstration. I understand your reasoning. Save the speed for the job. I'm as good at 60mph as 100mph. No demonstrations required." She smiled and noted how good he looked in dress trousers, polished wingtips and a button down shirt.

"Chuck, you didn't have to get all dressed up for me. I intend to get into some comfortable clothes and if you feel OK, I want to just go walk on the beach and talk. Or we can sit and talk. Or we can lay down and talk. Or not talk." She grinned at his blush and once again she thanked the Fates that she'd run into him in that elevator.

"Carina, if I lay down right now I wouldn't stay awake more than 2 minutes. These pills are great but they kick my butt and I can't stay awake more than 5 minutes."

"You drove here while taking meds?" She bristled. DUI was a no-no in her book.

"No, I just haven't taken one and I'm trying to wean myself off them. I can't sleep all day. I have things to do."

"Like what? You're on disability leave and can't do much with a busted hand."

"I did just fine in the airport if your reaction was any gauge." He waggled his eyebrows and laughed at the expression on her face.

"Well, let's swing by your place and get you some more clothes then find my motel and I'll get checked in and then I'll drive us up the PCH to a nice quiet beach and we can just talk and hang out."

"Cool. You can meet my sister and her boyfriend, Devon. I've talked about you enough. She's anxious to meet the woman who got me over Sarah Walker."

"Are you over her, Chuck?" She gave him a questioning look.

"Working on it. I can still smell the smoke from the burning bridges."

"Chuck, you still have to work with her. She's your handler and she has control over you and by extension, us. Please don't do anything to piss her off? I don't want to have to go on the lam with my boyfriend just because his ex has problems with his current girlfriend."

"Never happen, Carina. Won't ever get that bad."

"Well, if it does, we can be out of here in 30 minutes or less and I have contacts throughout the hemisphere. We wouldn't lack for friends."

"I trust John Casey, Rina. He's a man of honor and I know I can depend on him to always do the right thing. He's dependable and honest and hasn't forgotten the oath he took when he joined the service. I don't think the CIA has an oath."

* * *

John Casey was monitoring the 'moron and his lady' and got nervous at the talk of going off the grid but then almost turned off the bugs when Chuck talked about how he could always count on him to do the right thing. He was wrong. He'd do the thing that was ordered and live with his tarnished honor. The more he thought of it, the less sure he was that he would obey an unlawful or dishonorable order.

Maybe it was time to retire. Things were no longer black and white, good or bad. Too much gray.

* * *

APR


	8. Swinger's Mission & Deadly Poison

CarinaChuck8  
3442

T/N: This one is long and I couldn't really find a break-point to split it at 2k or so words. sorry bout that. Review or I'll go work on my tan instead. gotta run. fun time. Nik

* * *

"Walker, secure."

"Graham, secure. Agent Walker, I just got off the phone with General Beckman. That woman is the most infuriating human being I've ever met. Apparently someone leaked information about you and Bartowski setting up housekeeping and she called to tell me she absolutely forbids it."

"Um, Director, no one said anything about moving in together. Did I miss something?"

"No, it wasn't being considered but it is now. Agent Sarah Walker, you are hereby authorized to pursue and do whatever you want with one irritating asset named Charles Bartowski. You are ordered, Agent Walker, I say again, I repeat myself, you are ordered to move in together as soon as I can get someone in housing awake and on the job. Any questions?"

"N – no. I'm to move in with Bartowski once a CIA-provided and approved apartment is found."

"Correct. Now, this DEA Agent that he's seeing…is it serious? Does she need to be 'discouraged'? I can have a few words with the director tomorrow when we tee off. I understand she's just been promoted. Perhaps a change in venue would be appropriate?" _'Or perhaps a well-placed car bomb that could take her out of the picture and drive a 'grieving pussy of an asset' into the arms and clutches of his CIA handler?'_

"I don't think it's serious, yet. She's very…physical and Chuck's very shy and susceptible to…Oh, hell, they're dating and he's interested but hasn't made a physical thing of it."

"You have your orders. Keep me advised of progress and of any roadblocks thrown up by that woman general or her agency. You are to ignore any orders she may give that conflict with those I've given you. Go get him, Agent Walker. Assume 'emotional control over the asset' and bring him into willing compliance with the CIA's agenda. I'm going to enjoy twisting Beckman's tail. She _forbids_…" He mumbled, hanging up the phone and breaking the connection.

For once, Sarah was speechless. She'd blown any chance of reconciling with Chuck without getting physical, she'd driven Bryce crazy and he wouldn't answer her calls and now the Director tells her she has to have a relationship with Chuck. If life wasn't anymore screwed up, she didn't know what it would take to make it worse. Yes, she did. She bolted for the bathroom and vomited - again. _'Oh, God, don't let me be pregnant!'_

* * *

Casa Bartowski

Ellie Bartowski hugged Carina but shot her brother a dirty look over Carina's shoulder. Chuck knew that look. It said 'you got a lot of explaining to do, Charles Irving Bartowski'.

Carina was upfront and honest with Ellie, explaining her job and how she was finally moving up into the management side of the Agency. She also explained that she'd run into Chuck and he'd helped her out of a bind but gave no specific details.

"Ellie, I know you were good friends with Chuck's ex but I'd like us to be friends, too. Chuck and the motel clerk are the only people I know in L.A. and I'd like to put down some roots and have a normal life. Maybe we could all go out to dinner some night?"

"We work shifts but I'm sure something could be arranged. Carina, I've been friends with Sarah for almost a year now and I honestly don't know her that well. You've told me more about yourself in the past 5 minutes than Sarah has in the past 10 months."

"Well, I'm sure I'm being compared and contrasted to the 'ghosts of girlfriends past' and since he's getting some clothes together let me be honest with you about my feelings toward Chuck. I want to see where this relationship goes and I'm onboard for the whole trip. I like him – a lot. He's decent and honest and he respects me and I love him for that."

"So, no secret boyfriends in the woodwork? No 'better job' awaiting you in the wings? He's hurting a lot, Carina. He was really gone on Sarah and when her old boyfriend showed up, it really set him back. Be patient. He invests his entire being in a relationship and always seems to get crushed."

"Nope. What you see is what you get. I traveled too much to form relationships and I'm well past any one-night-stands. I think he's delightful and refreshing and I love his honesty. He told me all about Sarah and he's been honest with me about still having feelings for her. No one has ever been more open."

"I appreciate your candor. Sarah became my best friend and I miss her but she shit on my brother and blood is thicker than water. By the way, what size dress do you wear?"

"Huh? Um, a 6, why?"

"I need a bridesmaid in a year. If you're still around and interested…"

They both laughed and the ice was definitely broken. Chuck was in the hall with his bag in hand and breathed a sigh of relief. At least now all he had to fight was the CIA and the NSA. Adding Ellie into the mix would have been overwhelming.

* * *

They were driving to her hotel and Carina unloaded on him. "I like your sister. Why didn't you warn me that Sarah was her best friend? It could have been really ugly, Chuck. I don't appreciate being blindsided. Suppose she objected to us. It could happen, y'know?" She wasn't really angry but wanted him to know that she needed 'full-disclosure' where Walker was involved in his family.

"Never happen. She's pissed at Walker for a number of reasons, mostly because she knows about Bryce."

"She knows he's an agent?"

"Oh, no, I meant that she knows Sarah and Bryce are an item. I dealt with it. Told her the 'he's the reason she's out here and he followed her' thing. Larkin got me thrown out of Stanford and he's the bastard that screwed my fiancé. Sarah being his ex-girlfriend and now 'friend with benefits' broke her heart so don't worry about it. It's done and she didn't cut you with her scalpel."

"So the fight with Larkin wasn't over Walker?"

"No. Well, yeah. He wanted details on our relationship, couldn't accept the truth and then he said… well that was enough. That's not a problem anymore."

"He said what, Chuck?"

"He said something about you. That was the final straw. I lost my temper and he lost consciousness. It won't happen again. I promise. He just…got on my last nerve and I responded. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset. I'm…touched. Chuck Bartowski, that's twice you've protected me and each time you paid a price. I don't know whether to spank you for getting in a fight or do the thing we won't talk about."

"Spank me? Kinky, Carina. Hand cuffs, whips and chains…oh, my!" He waggled his eyebrows and they both laughed.

* * *

They'd just finished a take-out dinner and were lying on the bed debating about a movie when his cell vibrated. Casey called and alerted Chuck to a mission but didn't go into any details over the phone. Carina dropped Chuck off at the Orange-Orange with the understanding that he'd call her in the morning and they'd make plans for the day.

* * *

He cleared the scanner and walked down into the Castle. Walker wasn't there yet and Casey was fuming.

"She's late again. I don't know what's up with her. I thought she understood…never mind. I'll do the pre-brief before the Director gets online and hope she gets here before the video conference."

"We're after a laptop, Chuck, but not just any laptop. This one contains the transfer schedules and manifests for warheads heading to Texas for destruction. Nuclear warheads. All part of the SALT II Disarmament treaty. We destroy ours, they destroy theirs, all under the watchful eye of a representative."

"Where's the laptop, Casey? Seems more like a job for the FBI HRT . Why us?"

"Because it was lost by a freaking politician and it's an election year and he's a power on the committee that controls the intelligence agencies' budgets. Politics!"

"Jesus, they let a politician have that kind of information? How did he get it?"

"Need to know and apparently we don't have the need. We just have to go and get it back."

"OK, where is it?"

"Palm Springs. In his girlfriend's condo. She's the one who took it and is threatening to blackmail him and turn it over to some unfriendly people if he doesn't comply with her demands."

"What's our plan?"

"Go to a party, find the laptop, secure it or if we can't, erase the drives and then get out."

He held up his arm and waved his cast. "Casey, I can't get a tux on over this. I had a hell of a time getting this shirt on."

Casey held up a hammer. "You got to be shitting me, Casey!"

"Nope. We'll get a wrap on it after you get dressed. After we complete the mission you'll go to a facility for re-casting. It's the only way, Chuck. So, be a man and hand over your hand. I'll be very careful. Just don't scream."

Chuck looked at Casey and for a minute the room darkened and then he stood up straight and offered his casted hand to Casey.

"Moron! I'd cause more damage than you already have with a hammer. I was just joking around. Come back to the armory, we'll blast that sucker off…" Casey smiled and offered up a vibro-saw as used in hospitals.

"Let's go to the lav. Contain the dust better. Gotta admit, I never thought you'd offer the cast for the hammer. Either you're nuts or growing something unusual in those tightie whities of yours." He was impressed. He would have bet good money that he'd have run.

Casey finished wrapping the Ace bandage and then rolled down the sleeve of the shirt and fixed the cuff links.

"New item, Chuck. The cufflink is the mike. We'll get you fixed up with an ear bug and you'll be good to go which is more than I can say for your damned date. You can't go stag, Chuck. You have to have a date."

"Why?" He could feel his hand throbbing. He didn't realize how much support the cast provided.

"Because it's a swingers' party, numb nuts."

Casey called Walker again and again there was no answer. The calls all went to voicemail.

"OK, something's wrong. We're heading over to her place. She better not be in bed with Larkin or she'll be gone by midnight, and probably fired. Chuck, do you know something I don't know? I seem to be the last one to get the memo."

"Nope. Haven't seen her since the ER and that was for less than a minute. The drugs hit me and I don't remember if we talked or not. Wait! I think she came to my room and gave me some garbage about having a relationship and we talked but I was on those painkillers and I don't have a clue what I said. Maybe it was a dream, I don't know."

"It wasn't. You said nothing that wasn't the truth and she did her usual slip-sliding around. Girl's a piece of work for certain. But you did agree to try and work something out, Chuck."

"Oh, I have no idea what I said. Anyhow, let's go find Walker and get to the airport. This whole hand thing," he gestured with his ace-wrapped hand, "is getting old, not to mention it hurts like a bitch."

* * *

Casey pounded on her hotel door and got no response. He called her cell and heard it ringing. Thinking the worst, he picked her door lock and slipped into the darkened room, weapon in hand. The bathroom light was on and she was on the floor, dressed, but obviously unconscious and covered with vomit. Casey's first thought was food poisoning and he called for an ambulance. Scratch one mission.

He called Chuck on the phone. He'd stayed in the car, nursing his throbbing hand. Casey felt guilty about it but it was a mission requirement and Chuck seemed to understand it and take it in stride.

"Chuck, Walker's sick, really sick. I've called for an ambulance. Wait there and we'll go back to the Castle and then I'll take you to get another cast. Sorry for putting you through it. The mission's scrubbed."

"Casey, listen and don't blow your stack. Carina knows I work with the CIA and stuff. Let me call her and see if she'll go as my date. If she can get ready, she can meet us at the airport."

"That's…a good idea. Go ahead and call her. I've got to wait until the ambulance comes. You might be going on your first solo mission, Chuck. I don't feel right abandoning my partner when she's like this."

"It the right thing to do. I'll swing by the Castle and draw a weapon and tell Carina to bring her own. If we get busted, she's DEA and I'll let her run with it."

"Fine. Time's running out. Get moving. Call if you get in trouble. We got a retired agent there who can run interference."

"Roane Montgomery? Fat chance he'll be sober enough to grab his ass with both hands, Major."

"Get moving."

* * *

"Hey, Chuck, done already?" She answered without protocol since technically she was a civilian.

"Honey, I need help. I need a partner for a quick low-risk op. Will you…please, help me? Walker's on her way to the hospital with either food poisoning or a hot appendix and I got to run this, baby. I need a date and I got to warn you, it's a low-risk mission but it's…sensitive. Politics. And…and it's a swingers' party which is why I need a date. I won't let you out of my sight, baby. And I don't expect you to…um…participate, OK?"

"When will you pick me up?"

"Meet me at Executive Air at the Burbank Airport. We got a plane on standby. We're going to Palm Springs. I'll fill you in on the plane. Thanks, honey. You're a lifesaver. It's formal so wear something…delicious."

She laughed. This would be the most interesting evening she'd had yet with Chuck. The man was amazing and he was going to a swingers' party with her. She had to get dressed and she knew just what to wear and not to wear.

* * *

Carina parked her car and went into the terminal lobby. A man in a tux was standing with his back to her, staring out the large windows at nothing at all. If she wasn't interested in Bartowski…she' make a play for this guy. He looked fabulous from behind.

Chuck heard her heels on the marble floor and turned and was momentarily speechless. She was wearing a dress with a cowl neckline that plunged down to an almost indecent depth with a hem line that was so far north of her knees that... The dress was exactly the same color as her tanned skin and seemed to float around her body when she moved. He was astonished and thrilled and aroused and all blood flowed to his evident arousal. Her long and toned legs brought her closer and closer…

Carina saw his response and was delighted. And she was delighted with how her man looked in his Armani tux. At least Walker had the decency to pick a decent tux out for him.

"Oh, Chuck, look at you. Armani!"

"Well, look at you…wearing almost nothing but wearing it so well. You look incredible. C'mon, beautiful, I'll brief you on the plane."

"No. Wait. C'mere. Your tie…" She kissed him, working her hips against his and gasping as the full evidence of her effect on him pressed against her abdomen. He turned bright crimson and stammered an apology. She wondered if the plane's lavatory was large enough. '_After the mission_', she chided herself.

They handled the problem as if they'd worked together for years. They kissed and nibbled each other from one room to the next until at last they found the laptop in a closet in one of the few unoccupied rooms. They solved the 'occupied room' problem by simply tranking the lovers with low dosage darts, searching the room and then moving on to the next.

* * *

They took the limo back to the Palm Springs Airport and boarded the plane for the 60-minute flight back to Burbank.

"Chuck, that was so much fun and I can't believe how easily we pulled it off. And best of all, no one suspected a thing. The idea of using those low-dose tranquilizer darts was great. You were great."

"Couldn't have done it without you as a distraction. And your 'wardrobe malfunction' with that last couple was brilliant."

"Um, that wasn't planned. The strap broke and…"

"Well, they were an incredible distraction. You were incredible."

"Chuck, come home with me. Stay with me. I'm so keyed up and I don't want to be alone right now."

"Carina, I have to get my hand re-casted and then I'll get to your motel room somehow but I have no idea how long it's going to take. I have to report to Graham that we've recovered the laptop without incident. I should call Casey now and see how Walker's doing. Casey wouldn't joke around about something on a mission. He was really pissed until he found her unconscious."

"Go ahead. I'm going to the restroom. Join me later? I'm sure we're a mile high." She kissed him hungrily with an adrenalin-fired passion and left him wanting to join her but…duty called.

Chuck was still on the phone when she returned to her seat. He had a worried look on his face.

"Probable food poisoning? They're sure?"

Carina saw the look on his face and left to get them something to drink. He looked so sad and it was obvious to her that 'working on it' was progressing very slowly. She'd be patient though. He was worth it.

"Yeah, we got the laptop. Mission accomplished. She did…extraordinarily well. We had it down pat. Got in, got naked, slept with everyone at least once until we found the laptop." Whatever Casey said made Chuck laugh.

"No, Numbnuts. We tranked them and then searched each room. Low-dosage and we retrieved the darts. You going to call Graham?"

"He wants to talk to you." He passed her the cell phone.

"Hansen. Yeah, it was simple and fun. I can do that. Sure. I'll have him at the Orange-Orange by 9am. Casey, please call us and keep us in the loop about Sarah. He'll want to know and she is my friend."

She disconnected the call and snuggled up against him.

"I need to have your hand re-casted in L.A. Casey will text us the location. He'll call if anything changes with Walker. And I'm to drop you off at the Orange-Orange by 9am for a conference with Director Graham."

* * *

Carina's plan to seduce and make love with Chuck were thwarted by the anesthesia given to him when they reset the bones and re-casted his hand. She needed help getting him into the car but somehow managed to get him into the motel room and bed. Not feeling at all guilty, she stripped him naked and curled up against him and tried to sleep.

The kiss the next morning at the Orange-Orange was one of the better ones. Chuck grinned and told her she'd probably get a commendation for her file and she just threw him the finger.

"My commendation came last night in the form of a naked Bartowski in my bed, defenseless and finally unable to talk his way out of making love." She drove off still laughing at the look on his face.

* * *

General Beckman was hardly interested in the mission recap since it hadn't originated in her shop but she became very interested when Major Casey explained how it was necessary to bring in an outsider to partner with Bartowski.

"You mean you brought in someone without clearance? Some civilian? Major Casey, this is…"

"Agent Carina Hansen of the DEA knows that Sarah is an agency operative and she knows I'm NSA. We've all worked together before with Chuck. It was his idea but my responsibility. The mission was flawless, no clues left behind and best of all, we got the damned politician's laptop from his lap dancing girlfriend."

"Mr. Bartowski? Wake him up, Major. What's wrong with him?"

"He removed the cast on his broken hand in order to run the mission. It was re-casted last night at a secure facility. He's still shaking off the anesthesia."

"Oh, well, let him sleep then. He ran the mission with a broken hand and fingers? Amazing. Whatever Hansen has him on, keep him on it."

"Ma'am, he did it himself before we knew Walker was sick and Hansen boarded the plane. He couldn't wear the tux if he didn't." He wanted Chuck to get some credit, something rare.

"Hmmm. Noted. Excellent job, Major. What is Agent Walker's condition?"

"Still unconscious. They've pumped her stomach and done an analysis of the contents but nothing's back from the labs yet. They're treating her for food poisoning until something more conclusive is found."

Beckman smirked and looked at her calendar. Perfect. With Walker out of the way and with the success of this mission, Hansen and Bartowski would be partners in a few months. If more came of it than the partnership so be it.

* * *

She sent an email to Hansen's director praising her degree of professionalism and thanking him for his cooperation with the Combine. Let him figure out what she meant. She also emailed her Chief of Staff and ordered an immediate security and background check on Hansen as well as a psychological evaluation and profile. She'd found a new tool for her toolbox.

The lab results on Walker's tests showed that she'd been ingesting a concentrated derivative of Ricin in small amounts and the effects of the cumulative absorption had finally tipped critical systems into collapse and cascade failure. The outlook was bleak since there were no known antidotes to Ricin.

* * *

APR


	9. One is Crying While One Lays Dying

CarinaChuck9

* * *

T/N: This is a short chapter and the next 2 are the whole reason things go to heck so hand on. I'll see if I can't find the time later tonight to post some more. Editing is a pain. He's oot so feel free to flame. Like he gives a damn. Thx for R&R and for the PMs about the wedding which was wild. Review pls. I like big numbers - makes me want to edit my patootie off. - Nik APR's Wife!

* * *

Burbank General Hospital  
ICU

Chuck sat at Sarah's bedside holding her free hand in his. It was awkward since his right hand was in a cast but he held on with his left. Ellie had called him but he'd turned his phone off for the mission and so he had no idea of the severity of her situation until Casey had explained it in the Castle after he woke.

"Her kidneys are shutting down and there's some kind of problem with her liver. They're dealing with each symptom and supporting the affected systems until her body can process and eliminate whatever she ingested. She's on a dialysis machine and they're pumping her full of intravenous fluids."

Ellie asked why he was there instead of her boyfriend The RatBastard, and he just said 'because she's here'. In truth, he was there because he felt the agency had abandoned her. She had no family, no friends that he knew of except Carina and Bryce and… him. No one would mourn her passing and some bureaucrat would expunge whoever she really was from the payrolls and retirement programs and then go on to the next task.

Carina was of two minds. On the one hand, she was touched by the devotion he was showing his CIA handler while on the other she was thoroughly convinced she'd lost her man before she'd ever really had him.

She never questioned the time he spent with Walker or how he never had time for her. She understood his position better, surely, than he did. He was in love with his CIA handler, Sarah Walker, and 'in like' with her, his 'new' girlfriend. She'd lost the war and knew it. He didn't, of course, because he didn't know he was being fought over.

She talked for hours with Ellie about the situation and had come close on more than one occasion to just blurting out the truth about Sarah and Casey and Chuck's role as an asset but she knew it would be wrong and so she just cried and Ellie consoled.

When Chuck wasn't training with Casey or working intel reports, he was with Sarah, holding her hand, swabbing her lips with glycerin drops to keep them from drying out and cracking and putting in eye drops to ensure her eyes were sufficiently moist. Mostly he talked to her about anything and everything, explaining his relationship with Carina (dissolving from neglect) or how he understood how Sarah couldn't really commit to a relationship with him and still do her job. He told her he'd try not to be so demanding in the future and he understood her need for Larkin in her life even if he wasn't allowed the same thing.

On the morning of the 7th day he and Casey sat through a bitter argument between Director Graham and General Beckman during a Castle video conference. After commenting on the excellent progress of Chuck's training, General Beckman recommended that Agent Walker be replaced and transferred back to Langley for rehabilitation and reassignment.

Graham went ballistic and said he made decisions regarding CIA staffing and unless Walker's progress took a turn for the worse, she would remain in place. That's when he brought up his earlier instructions to Walker that she and Bartowski move in together. The CIA had already established an apartment residence for them. He stated that any compromise developing from the close quarters was to be viewed as 'beneficial' to the project.

Chuck's eyes narrowed and his fists were clenched so tightly Casey thought he heard the tendons creak. One glance at the asset and he knew Mount Bartowski was about to erupt. He acted. He disconnected the Castle from all external communications links, severed all out-going lines and routed the incoming traffic to a voicemail bank. He did it all with one keystroke.

As the screen blanked uncharacteristically, Chuck lost his temper and began swearing and cursing Beckman, Graham, the NSA and the CIA and finally the various members of the intelligence combine. When he seemed to be running out of steam Casey started to laugh until Chuck fixed him with a glare.

"You _would_ think this is funny, Casey. You always find humor in other people's pain or suffering. I've been so unfair to Carina, leading her on when the fucking CIA has eliminated hope of anything ever developing between us."

Casey started to smirk and then chuckle and finally laugh out right at Chuck's temper tantrum. He felt bad for him but he had warned him that the agencies didn't care about him, just the project.

"You think this shit is funny, Casey? You think that Carina and I are a joke? You think the CIA deciding I need to live with Walker after all she's done… you think it's a good joke? Well, here's another joke for you, a very personal one. Your secret agent girlfriend over in Europe? Ilsa whoever? Well, she's _married_, Casey. To another spy. How funny is that?"

Casey knocked him out of the chair and stood up and dragged Chuck up off the floor and slammed against the filing cabinets. "You're lying, Bartowski. She wouldn't cheat. She's not like that."

"Go check DLN# 33466-072, Sugar Bear. It's her file. Read the profile. She's married. Gotta push through the pain, right, Casey. No pain, no gain. Welcome to just a wee little corner of my world, Major."

Casey slammed him against the filing cabinets again. Chuck wouldn't lie. Not even to 'hurt' someone with a half-assed half-truth. He dropped him and stomped off to find a working terminal. He was no longer laughing.

* * *

He didn't make an appearance in the Castle for 3 days. For 3 days he'd sat beside Sarah's bed and just held her hand, occasionally nodding off, but mostly he just sat and watched her breathe. Ellie had finally had her fill of his martyrdom and pulled him out into the hallway.

"Chuck, I don't know why you're doing this but it's not healthy. Carina has the patience of Job to put up with you and your antics. My God, you'd think you were still in love with Walker and pining away for her. What about Carina, Chuck?"

"Ellie, get your keys and meet me at the front door. I have some things to discuss and I can't do it here or at home. I can answer all your questions, including the ones you only ask yourself, if you give me an hour, just one fucking hour with no interruptions, no comments and no disagreements. One time offer. Take it or leave it."

She took it. The look on his face required it. She knew if she didn't take advantage of whatever was driving him right now, she'd never have the chance again.

"Fifteen minutes at the ER exit. I'm parked in that lot."

When they got in her car all he'd say was 'Drive to the beach."

Forty minutes later they were sitting in the dusk on the beach. For once the winds were calm and they could talk normally and still be heard.

"Once upon a time I got an email from Bryce Larkin…"

Chuck was wrong. It took more than an hour. It took almost two hours but when he'd finished all she could do was hug her brother and cry for him and all the inequities of life.

"What about Carina, little brother?"

"I'll end it as gently and as quickly as possible. It isn't fair to her and the damned Combine might decide she's in the way and kill her or something. She knows my situation but not about the thing in my head. Only you know about that outside the intel community and you can never even suggest you know a damned thing about it or you'll disappear."

"Why did you tell me this now, Chuck?"

"Because I don't think I'll survive this nightmare much longer. I can see it in their eyes. When the new system comes online, I'm surplus and subject to either incarceration or liquidation. I'm too big a risk to allow free."

"And Sarah, Chuck. If it happens, what about Sarah?"

"She's a good little soldier, Ellie, and all she has in the world, the thing that defines her, is the job. Guys like me are a dime a dozen. She'll find another mark to work. It's what she does best. They call it a honey trap and now I know why."

"What now, Chuck. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going home, shower, change clothes and go back to the hospital. It's where I belong now. Any choice I might have has been taken from me. I'll deal with Carina when I have time. She's important to me but she's totally outside of this little drama and needs to stay there for her own good. I have no doubt the Agency would 'encourage her' to break it off with me anyway. I'm falling in love with Carina and out of love with Walker. It's ironic, Ellie. I'm getting what I thought I wanted and I'm losing what I desperately need. How's that for progress?"

Ellie gave him a blank look, confused.

"I need Carina in my life. She's wonderful. She's open, honest, doesn't have a secret agenda and my God, strange as it may seem, she likes me, Ellie, really likes me."

* * *

A few hours later he'd resumed his seat and holding her hand. Talking with Ellie had been very cathartic. He knew that if anything happened to him, she'd be there for Carina and if he disappeared and so did Sarah and Casey, she knew not to ask questions or make waves.

He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. Her eyes weren't open yet but there was still someone in there who was Sarah Walker.

"Hey, don't try and talk, just listen. I'm going to end it with Carina. It hadn't gotten too far anyway. I never slept with her, Sarah, I promise you that. She'll probably be glad to tell the world Chuck Bartowski is frigid."

She squeezed his hand and he thought he saw the corners of her lips twitch in a smile but wrote it off to his imagination. He just put the palm of her hand against his cheek and held it there and waited for her to come back. Things were going to be very different this time. This time _she _was the mark and he had to pretend to have feelings for the woman who destroyed them.

* * *

He walked into the Castle the following day and Casey just glared at him.

"How did you know?"

"I flashed on her the first time we discussed her by name. I can't help what info comes up on a flash. I'm sorry you had to find out that way but you should have just backed off, Casey."

"Yeah, well, what's done is done. I learned another lesson about women in the spy game. Bartowski, what are you going to do about Carina Hansen? You can't be sleeping with her now. You'd create a massive problem for her if and when Walker found out."

"Well, she'd have been upset about nothing. We've been tiptoeing around it but it's a moot point now. We're done. I just have to find the right way to do it so she doesn't lose too much face. You spies have this image to maintain."

"Yeah, some of us more than others it seems. OK, so I shouldn't have popped you but you could have phrased it differently. Now, get changed and hit the armory. You've been slacking off and Beckman's already pissed at the Team for the commo breach."

"I think it was the right thing to do. Kinda like watching your parents arguing about you, except these parents will kill you if they get mad enough."

"Yeah, there is that. So when's Walker getting out? I've talked to her about the poisoning and she hasn't got a clue how she got it. She never ate anything Larkin didn't so it's like…it just got there unnoticed."

"Stealth poison? Anyone check and see if the RatBastard is sick, too?"

"No. And that should have been obvious. Someone's dropping the ball in DC. What can you tell me?"

"Nothing. No update, no info. Sarah says he was going somewhere to finish his leave but she didn't care where and didn't ask. I'm sure they'll get back in touch eventually. They have needs, Casey, and they seem to fulfill each others without any long term issues."

"When's she getting out? When will she be back at work?"

"Maybe this week and then some renal therapy and continued medication. Don't know the time frame. Something up?" He really didn't care when she got out. He wasn't looking forward to enforced cohabitation. He already missed Carina's fresh attitude toward life. He missed his temptress.

"Nope. Just hate being alone with you all day, idiot. At least she's an agent."

"Yes, Casey. She's an agent."

* * *

APR


	10. Preparing to Swim to Hawaii

CarinaChuck10a

* * *

T/N: I'll try and get another one up tonight. Been busy and I have to run to the a/p and pick him and some wig up. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW but thanks a bunch for all the alerts even if you didn't review. I keep track. u bin warned. There's a voodoo mere down the bayou who will put the evil eye on ya if ya don't. APR's Wife!

* * *

Burbank General Hospital

Chuck was sitting in her hospital room watching her get ready to leave after 16 days in the hospital but finally getting a clean bill of health. He hadn't been to the apartment yet. He wanted them to see it for the first time together. He watched her put on her mascara and eyeliner but something about the lipstick…

"Sarah, stop. Don't let it touch your lips. Close it up, put it down and wash your hands. Do it!"

She did as instructed seeing the strangely intense look on his face. He was on the cell to Casey.

"Lipstick. It's why Larkin never got sick. I'll bet if we check her hotel room we'll find it in her toothpaste too. It's the one thing they wouldn't share directly. OK, maybe he'd get lipstick on after kissing her but I'll bet it came off from just daily stuff. Have it checked out, OK?"

"I'll have a cleaner team go over that stuff. I don't think they looked at it. They were led to believe 'ingestion' meant food."

Chuck walked out to the nurses' station and pulled a small HAZMAT bag out of the dispenser and walked back in, turning the bag inside out and using the bad to pick up the tube of lipstick and her eye makeup. He pulled the sides of the bag shut and zipped it.

"No more chances, Sarah Walker. No more unnecessary risks, understand? Your job now is to be back in shape and ready to run missions as soon as possible. No more chances. Everything gets thrown out and you give me a list and I buy everything new from several different outlets. That includes tampons, Sarah, laundry soap, where you do your dry cleaning, everything."

She didn't say anything. He was right. He was also very sincere and she felt another frisson of something not unlike lust jolt her. She didn't know if 'decisive Chuck' had always been there, underneath the nerdiness or if somehow Carina brought it out.

* * *

He resisted the juvenile urge to carry her over the threshhold into their new apartment. Somehow he thought she wouldn't appreciate it. She hadn't said anything during the drive and now she was walking around looking and 'judging'.

They hadn't discussed the blown mission at all. Sarah didn't want to bring it up. The team had missed an opportunity to shine and it was all her fault, or at least she was the cause.

She didn't know that Carina had run the mission with Chuck in her place. She didn't want to talk about Carina with Chuck. "No, Chuck. I don't want to hear anything about you and Carina and what you have or haven't done, understand? It's not up for discussion. It's in the past, isn't it? You're done with her, right?"

Chuck looked at her in frustration, guilt and a little anger.

"I just wanted us to be totally honest with each other but I see that's a not in the playbook, is it? Fine. You go right ahead and think what you want, torture yourself with what might have happened as opposed to knowing what happened and it'll be another thing we drag in from outside. I got your list, Agent Walker. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Call me if you think of anything else."

He left. Welcome home, Sarah. Bullshit.

She almost went after him but couldn't bring herself to make the effort. He was different. He wasn't her Chuck. She was afraid he was someone else's now. He was right. She should have talked, gotten it out on the table but she didn't want to have to explain Bryce to him. Her damned pride drove a wedge between them when they had just gotten together. She took a quick shower and went to bed. If he woke her when he got back, fine. _If _he came back. She fell asleep kicking her mental ass for being exactly what she promised she wouldn't be.

She awoke disoriented until the present rushed in to fill the vacuum her sleeping mind had created. She was alone in bed and she'd been alone the entire night.

Someone had made coffee and the bags of stuff from her list were on the kitchen table with a note listing the items he wanted her to buy or specify the brand or style since he really didn't have a clue. For example, he'd written, there were 17 different kinds and brands of tampons. She smiled at that. So like Chuck to waffle on 'feminine comfort items' as he termed them.

There was also another note saying he'd gone into the Castle to 'practice'. She didn't know what he meant.

* * *

Castle

"You're in early. Figured you for 10ish not 6:15am. Anything you want to talk about, Bartowski? Trouble already? Let me guess. You wanted to be all upfront and honest and she didn't want to hear it. Am I right? I'm right. I knew it. Remember what I said, Chuck, some agents have pride issues and she's one of them."

"If that's the best advice you can give me, remind me not to bring a real issue to the table. Pride goeth before a fall. That's what you're saying, right? This thing we have will fail, won't it? Well, considering the assassination attempt, I'm cutting Carina lose. I won't risk her if this is some damned spy-vs. -spy thing. I know all about how little you professionals care about collateral damage."

"Chuck, that's not what I meant. As for Carina…"

"Take a page from the Sarah Walker Relationship Manual, Major Casey, ignore anything and everything that isn't the job, including the person you supposedly love more than the job. Don't talk out your problems and don't worry about honesty. Nope. Just go back to bed and let big Daddy Director or Granny General take care of everything."

Casey had the sense to keep his mouth shut. Sometimes not talking prompted the other guy to prattle on and on. Besides, he'd already done exactly what Chuck described with horrendous results. He had pride.

Chuck never said another word, just went about his daily training regimen of firearms training and then basic spycraft. Casey stood by to answer any questions but mostly because he felt sorry for the moron. The younger man was torn between what was right and what was necessary. Sure sucks to be him.

* * *

Chuck returned to the apartment at 6pm with a pizza, no olives, and a 6-pack of diet coke for her and a 6-pack of beer for him. He tossed the pizza on the kitchen table and put the beer and coke in the refrigerator and walked back down the hallway to the closed bedroom door.

He knocked lightly, not wanting to wake her and there was no response so he opened the door, took out his casual clothes and went into the bathroom to change. She was in bed, asleep. She was recovering. She needed a lot of sleep plus a side effect of the medications was drowsiness. He ate two slices of pizza and put the rest away for her. Nothing was on TV and he had no urge to just sit there watching the walls hold up the ceiling so he grabbed his cell phone and went to see his sister who wasn't exactly thrilled to see him at her door.

* * *

Casa Bartowski

"Ellie, I don't know what to do. She won't talk to me about anything. All she does is sleep. When I'm gone she might be up but there's no evidence she's done anything other than spend the damned day in bed. Is this natural?"

"Chuck, I think you need to talk with Sarah about…"

"She won't talk to me…not about anything. I bring up Carina and she clams up and tells me she doesn't want to hear it. It's like she's in denial. Hell, she won't even listen to anything we've done. How am I supposed to survive this 'relationship' when she won't even try?"

"Talk to her. But now, please, go. I'm having dinner guests and I don't want you here when they arrive, OK?"

"Next time I'll make a damned appointment. I still live here, y'know?" He stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door and walking to his pool car in the lot. He had no place to go and nothing to do. He never imagined that the life of a 'spy' would be boring but it was. He pulled away from the curb just as Carina pulled in and took his spot.

Ellie had invited Carina to dinner and just to hang out with a friend. She didn't want to put either Chuck or Carina in an awkward position running into each other.

"Ellie, I saw Chuck drive away. I didn't mean to run him off."

"No, he came unannounced and I told him I had a guest coming over and he needed to leave."

"Smooth, Ellie. He's hurting and the one person he relies on blows him off. I need to see him and settle this thing someday. Tonight would have been perfect since we'd have you to referee."

"Carina, he's miserable. Walker's in depression and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Give him some time, Carina. He knows what he wants. He just feels obligated now. He's dealing with new sets of emotions and he has no idea how to act. Has he called you at least?"

"No. It's OK, Ellie. I know what he's going through. I went through something similar with an NSA hard case but I didn't have an Ellie at the time and I really blew it with the guy."

"I don't know what to tell Chuck. I never gave him an opportunity to say much before I pushed him out."

Casey listened to the bugs in Ellie's apartment. As soon as Bartowski had shown up he'd activated them but when he saw Chuck leave and Carina arrive he left them on. This would be better if he'd brought popcorn.

He turned off the bugs when he heard 'NSA hard case'. He didn't want to hear anymore. He had his pride.

* * *

Chuck drove to Carina's motel but she was out. He had a brief and unkind thought but stomped it down ruthlessly. He had no right to be upset with her for living her life when he'd put 'their' life on the back burner. He was going to leave a note but instead he just left his key on her dresser and left. He could smell the smoke of burning bridges.

* * *

"Casey, secure."

"Walker, secure. Casey, do you know where Chuck is?"

"About an hour or so ago he was at his sister's place but she blew him off for a dinner guest telling him to 'talk to Sarah if you have a problem' and to leave. He blew out two of my surveillance mics when he slammed the door and left. Her guest arrived and I deactivated the bugs."

"H – has – has he said anything to you about…"

"Nope. He said he was taking a page from the Sarah Walker Relationship Handbook and just waiting for someone else to tell him what to do. He doesn't have a lot of faith in the Agencies, Sarah, and he told me he was cutting Hansen loose so she doesn't become 'spy-vs-spy collateral damage'."

"What the hell does that mean, Casey? He's changed. He's not the same guy as…"

"He spent 11 days and nights hovering over you. He's changed, yeah, because he had to. He's getting a double dose of our reality and he's trying like mad to adjust. He's committed to you and you can't even look at him or talk to him. You seem to think you're the injured party in this but it's him. Do I need to remind you that you blew off the cover date to play with Bryce – the guy you called."?

"Casey we've gone over that…"

"No, you haven't. You made up a bunch of excuses and laid them on me. Well, I'm not your Dear Abby so you need to decide on a course of action. I told you before. If you don't want Bartowski, go find Larkin but do it before he loses any chance with Hansen. They click, Walker. When you went down Chuck ran the mission with Carina and it was creative and flawless. He ran the mission to keep you out of trouble since when he left for Palm Springs we _both _thought you were still shacked up with Bryce."

"Can you check the GPS on his phone for me please?"

* * *

The beach was deserted, as he knew it would be this time of night. The offshore winds were picking up, as was the surf. He stripped down to his boxers and folded his clothes leaving his wallet, weapon, watch and cell phone on top of the pile and started for the surf line. He wasn't afraid. He had made his decision. Next stop Hawaii.

* * *

APR


	11. A Little Nookie Between Civil Wars

CarinaChuck10

* * *

T/N: I'm giving ya'll TWO tonight and ya'll better review twice as much or that's it until 7/10.

* * *

His cell phone rang and he stopped and cursed. He turned back and opened his phone and saw it was Walker calling.

"Bartowski, secure."

"Walker, secure. Chuck…" She didn't know what to say. No, she knew what to say she didn't know how to say it.

"Are you still there?" He thought he'd lost the signal.

"Yeah. What are you doing at the beach at this time of night?"

"I was going to go for an impromptu swim."

Again, dead air. He waited a moment then repeated his earlier question.

"Sarah, are you still there?"

"You have a cast on your hand, Chuck. It'll be ruined and have to be replaced if you get it wet."

"What do you want, Sarah?"

Another long pause and a sigh.

"I don't know anymore. I thought I had it all but now I don't know. The job…"

"You still have your job. You're still agent Sarah Walker, CIA. Your life is complete. Why did you call me?"

"I'm lonely. I want you to come home, Chuck, now."

"Is that an order, Agent Walker, ma'am?" Home. Home was…he realized he really didn't have a home.

"No. And quit calling me Agent Walker. I understand you're angry with me, disappointed and probably resentful. You think I waited until you and Carina were together before dropping this 'live together' situation in your lap, don't you?"

"You tell me, Agent Walker. I'm the last one to find out my disposition. I had to find out we were moving in together as a sidebar to WWIII between Beckman and your boss. No one asked me. I was told."

"I thought you wanted a relationship, something not under the cover, Chuck. I thought…"

"I did. Then you told me there could be nothing. I was the asset. You were the agent/handler. You told me it was your job, nothing more. You told me that countless times. Guess what? I finally believe you. Larkin made a believer out of me. You two should be together. You're like bookends. I was just unfortunate to be a book between you."

"Chuck, you said you loved me. Don't you love me anymore?"

"Of course I love you. I can't _not_ love you just because I don't like you. I'll be fine though. I'll get over you. I'm young, flexible, resilient. I won't break. Not any more. I'll just bend with the Combine's winds. I'll still be able to flash, Agent Walker, so don't you fret about your job. Besides, this is a hell of a learning experience. Get the intersect and learn to live a lie, surrender your free will and don't you dare become emotionally involved with anyone. It might get in the way."

"Chuck…" Her voice broke and she started to cry. He'd become so bitter and alienated and it was her fault.

"I'll come back to the apartment in a couple of hours, Agent Walker. I just need to feel free one last time, that's all."

* * *

"This is Carina Hansen." She knew who was calling but not why. Did she call to gloat? They'd been very competitive as friends. As enemies, she wondered just how far Walker would go to win.

"Carina, this is Sarah. Chuck's…he needs you. He's on the beach where you two went, down from the hamburger joint. I don't know what else to do. He's so bitter and angry. It's not like I have any choice in the matter."

"I'll go check on him. I'll get him home. He's…adapting and he's not accepting his new reality well at all and you're not helping him one bit. You shut him out, won't talk, sleep all the damned time and could care less how he's coping."

"He's talked to you? He won't talk to me but he talks to you?"

"No, asshole. He talked to Ellie and blurted it all out. Not about the agency but just about you and your 'pity me' attitude. He's never been anything but respectful…well, except for the time Larkin answered your phone and he caught your lie. He should have a tattoo that reads 'Handle with Care'."

"He tried talking but it was about you and I didn't want to hear it. Everyone seems to think you're the greatest thing for Chuck and I'm so kind of wicked spirit trying to destroy him."

"I'd better get going. I'll bring him home to you. You don't know how damned lucky you are, Sarah Walker. I would have told all of you to go fuck yourselves if I were in his shoes. Might as well bury him alive. You've taken his spirit."

* * *

Chuck was angry with himself. He'd worked up the courage and lost it when he answered the call from Walker. He'd have been dead by now or so close to it he wouldn't have cared. He was a coward. He couldn't kill himself and now he was afraid to live. There was no middle ground.

He redressed and started the long walk up the beach to the lot where he'd parked his pool car. He finally had a car – if you could call a Taurus a car. Someone was parked next to his car. He reached behind him and pulled out the 9mm he'd begun to carry.

Carina had watched as he dressed and walked toward his car. Unless he asked, she'd seen nothing. Better to allow him this last shred of privacy. No. She wanted this time with him. She would not waste a single moment.

Chuck saw Carina get out of the car and his steps faltered. He wasn't ready to put her out of his life but he had no real choice in the matter, not if he was to keep her safe.

She ran to him and put her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. She was crying already and he hadn't even told her to leave yet, that it was over, but she could feel it coming.

"Carina Hansen, I don't know what we're going to do. I'm between the dog and the fireplug and I'm afraid you'll be dragged into this mess or worse, hurt because of me. Tell me what to do, baby. I'm so confused. A month ago this is what I thought I wanted, me and Walker together. But it's not. It's not who I want. You're who I want. I'm sorry, Carina. I've been such a shit to you."

"Hush, Chuck. Let's get back in the car. This wind is cutting through me like a knife. I don't know how you could stand to swim in this cold but I'm glad you didn't. You'd have frozen to death, baby." There was an implied rebuke in there somewhere.

"I'm glad too. I'd have missed this moment."

They got in her car and she was on him in a second, straddling his legs and kissing him with a sense of hungry desperation, her skirt riding up on her thighs as she rocked against him. He returned the kiss with a passion and feeling he'd never felt before, tickling her lips with his tongue and lowering his arms until he was cupping her ass. She broke off the kiss. Her words rushed out of her mouth like bullets.

"Chuck, please, don't send me away. We can work something out. I'm falling so hard for you, Chuck. We'll keep it under wraps, find time to be together, I don't care what anyone else thinks. Please, Chuck. Please stay with me. Walker doesn't want you like I do. She has her job and Larkin and it's all she really wants. The job and someone to scratch the occasional itch."

He was nibbling her ear, his lips sucking the lobe and then slipping down to attack her neck. He nipped her where her neck and shoulder met and then licked and kissed any pain away. She was his now.

His casted hand held her close to him while his left hand was deftly pulling her blouse out of the top of her skirt and she helped him, unbuttoning it and popping the front clasp of her bra as she twisted out of the long sleeved blouse. In the growing darkness he could still see her marvelous breasts and her tight nipples begging for attention.

He ran the flat on his tongue over the nipple and then blew on it. It immediately tightened even more and became rigid. Her gasp and subsequent whimper as he sucked on the nipple sent a shiver down his spine and he attacked the other nipple not wanting to ignore it.

"Oh, Chuck, this is incredible. Hang on, baby. I'm dropping the seat back." She pulled a lever and the seat reclined and she pulled his Henley over is head and returned the favor by attacking his nipples. He couldn't breathe. All he could do was hang on to her while her mouth turned his torso into an erogenous zone. Finally satisfied, she opened his belt and pants and pulled them and his boxers down around his knees freeing his erection.

"Chuck, no condom. I had my tubes tied. Nothing comes between us. Not the job, not people and certainly not latex."

She ripped her thong off with a victorious giggle and threw it into the back seat. She mounted him and sank down, moaning and asking him to wait just a minute.

"Oh, it's been a while and…Chuck, I know you wanted it to be special our first time but honey this is so special. I feel 17 again."

"Take your time. It's been a while for me, too. But never have I wanted anything like I want you. God, this is as perfect as I could imagine. It's honest and real and I can't let you go, baby. It would be like losing a part of me. We'll work something out. "

* * *

Chuck rolled down the window to get some fresh air. The air inside the car was steaming, he was sure. He'd made love to Carina and it felt better than he could ever imagine sex to be. It was making love, not fucking.

"Let's get dressed. Follow me to my place and you can shower me off you, Chuck. No sense rubbing Walker's nose in my satisfied scent." She started to laugh and he asked her what was so funny.

"Walker called and asked me to bring you home. I don't think this is what she had in mind. Chuck, I want this. I want us as a couple. I don't know how we'll do it but between us we'll figure something out. I've been looking for you all my life and I found you and I'm never letting you go. We'll leave, get lost in the wilds someplace and start over if we can't be who we want to be here. My agency could care less. Your Combine is the problem."

"Yeah. I think maybe it's time to tell Beckman to reassign Walker. She said she'd do it if this became 'tedious' and it will become tedious as soon as I walk in the apartment door. Three weeks have changed my life. You've changed my life."

"Follow me, Chuck. You stink like sex and me. I wish I could bottle the smell and spray it in my office at work to keep the wolves away."

"Maybe you should just let them see how I marked you. You're mine now. I'll come by tomorrow and piss a circle around you. The wolves will get the idea."

"You big goof. Drive and be careful. I have a vested interest in your bones, baby."

Her car wouldn't start. The battery was good, she said she had gas, it just wouldn't start.

Chuck finally got it to start but it was running rough and the 'Check Engine' light was on and he didn't want her driving it. He rolled down the window and handed her his keys and told her he'd follow her but not to lose sight since the piece of crap pool car he was driving might die at any moment.

They were almost into the city when a big black SUV cut in front of Carina's pool car and began to slow down. Another SUV pulled up beside it and the passenger window was rolled down and the muzzle of an automatic weapon emerged and began to spit fire and bullets all through the passenger cabin.

Carina started to panic and then pulled her cell and dialed Casey.

"Casey, secure. What's up, Carina. The moron's at the…"

"Casey, he's driving my car and someone's just shot the shit out of it. Two SUVs with government plates. He's off the road in a ditch at mile marker 16 on Topanga Canyon Road just before it merges with North Hollywood. Send help, Casey!"

She hung up the phone and ran to her bullet-riddled car. He was slumped across the steering wheel and when she pulled open the door he groaned and then leaned back in the seat. The air bag had deployed and his nose was bleeding and so was his lip where his teeth had cut the inside of it.

"Chuck, can you hear me? Where are you hurt? Does it hurt to breathe? Chuck, answer me, please!" She was panicking. She was a trained agent and she was panicking. She carefully unfastened his seatbelt and put the seat back unconsciously mimicking the way she'd lowered the seat when they were making love. She was all over him looking for bullet wounds. When she cupped the back of his head her hand felt warm and sticky.

She tore a sleeve from her blouse, her strength trebled by adrenalin, formed a compress and pressed it against the back of his head.

"Chuck? Chuck, baby, please say something. Please, Chuck. Don't you dare die on me, Chuck Bartowski. I love you, damn it!" She could hear sirens in the distance. She reached behind him and removed his 9mm. No sense adding to their problems of security with a weapons charge. She had her ID out and then froze.

The SUVs both had government plates. They shot up her car. They didn't know he was driving. It was an assassination attempt on her and they got Chuck by mistake. Her cell rang and it was Sarah Walker.

"Carina, where the hell are you? Where's Chuck. Wait a minute, it's Casey. I'll call you right back and you'd better be ready to explain yourself. Chuck's not answering his cell phone. I want to know what's going on."

Her cell rang again. It was Casey this time.

"Carina, helps on the way. How badly is he hurt?"

"I don't know. He bleeding from the nose and mouth and there's blood all over the back of his head. I can't find any bullet wounds in his chest, legs or arms. I don't want to turn him and risk a spinal cord injury."

"Keep it together, Carina. You said two SUVs with government plates sprayed your car but Chuck was driving? Why was he driving your car?"

She told him about the starting problem and then the first of the emergency vehicles arrived. She disconnected and went to meet them, her pistol in one bloody hand and ID in the other.

"I want to see some ID NOW! Nobody touches him until I have some ID. I'm DEA and he's a…a government witness. ID's now!"

Casey arrived a few minutes later. He had stopped and picked up Walker on the way. He looked at Carina's pool car and shook his head. There were at least twenty bullet holes in the body, the windshield had shattered and the driver's window was just gone.

"Hansen, explain what happened here." Walker was uberprofessional, glaring at anyone and everyone who met her eyes.

"He was driving my car because it was acting up and I was following in his. He was following me back to my apartment and then was going on to his own. Two black SUVs with government plates passed me and one pulled in front of Chuck and slowed down and the other pulled up along side and started spraying automatic weapons fire into the passenger cabin."

"What's the cover?"

"He's a government witness for the DEA. It will be all right. I'll plant the paper work tomorrow. It was the only thing I could think of. He's going to be OK, Sarah. He's got to be OK. He's bleeding from the nose and mouth and the back of his head. I couldn't find any wounds in his chest or neck."

"We'll see. He better be. Black SUVs with government plates. Sounds fishy to me, Hansen." She glared at the DEA agent. She could smell her and knew she and Bartowski had been having sex. She hated Carina Hansen more than any other woman she'd ever met.

"Screw you, Walker. If you'd been half a human being to him it would be me in that car and he'd be home safe, not running from a failed suicide attempt on the beach."

"Wha…what?"

"Yeah. He was stripped to his boxers and planning on swimming to Hawaii. What the hell did you think he was doing out here? Exposing himself to little girls? Think, Walker. He told me no one swam there because of currents and water temperature but he comes here for a casual swim?"

An EMT pushed a gurney past the two agents. There was an oxygen mask on Chuck's face and one EMT was holding an IV bag high over his head.

"Carina, go with him in the ambulance. Walker, get on the phone and see about any operations involving a sanction on a DEA agent or witness. There are stoplight cameras all along here. Let's get back to the Castle and see if we can get plates on the two SUVs."

"Casey, he's my asset, I'm going to the hospital with him. Hansen can…go home or whatever."

"Walker, we need to secure the operational environment as it affects our asset. Get in the car. Agent Hansen's presence will enhance the cover story. He's her witness and she's responsible for him. Start thinking, Walker, about the asset and his cover. It's your job since you weren't anywhere around the asset protecting him. This is another colossal fuck-up on your part, Walker. I warned you." He dug the knife in and then twisted it. She needed to go. Sick leave or not, if she hadn't driven Bartowski mad with her antics he'd have been in the apartment with her, not in an ambulance unconscious. She had to go.

He had a sudden thought as he heard Chuck's voice again: "Spy vs Spy…" First Walker and now Hansen? Spy vs Spy? Agency vs Agency? Oh, crap! A civil war.

* * *

APR


	12. Terminate with Extreme Prejudice

CarinaChuck11  
05/09

* * *

A physician in bloody scrubs came out of an exam room and called for the DEA agent with the John Doe. Carina was on the phone with her Director explaining why she needed a witness sheet planted in the system. She didn't trust the locals anymore. She only trusted Chuck, Casey and her Director. She hung up on her Director mid-sentence and walked rapidly towards the doctor.

"I'm Agent Hansen, DEA supervisor, and that man is my witness. What's his status, Doctor?"

"He's got stitches in his lip, we removed the plaster cast, it was shattered by the steering wheel most probably, and replaced it with a molded fiberglass brace that's more comfortable. He's unconscious and it's a damned miracle he's not dead."

Carina's worldview condensed itself into a black dot that slowly turned gray and then back to normal color. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, smelling salts stuffed up her nose.

"Agent Hansen, were you hurt? Are you OK?"

"Fine. Just light headed for a moment. Nothing since breakfast. Please continue your report on Mr. Bartowski's injuries and prognosis."

"A ricochet, most likely a spent projectile, hit him in exactly the right place to knock him out but not kill him. It's one of the skull's thicker areas. He'll be fine if he regains consciousness. I say 'if' because there no reason for him to be unconscious this long. I've scheduled a CT-scan but you can go in and see him."

"I'll need to escort him to the scan, doctor. Regulations. He's a prosecution witness and no one knows who might be compromised. I promise I'll stay out of the way."

"Of course. Just try not to shoot anyone, Agent Hansen. It's been crazy around here lately."

* * *

Casey had the unenviable task of contacting the General regarding the most recent adventure of her least favorite asset.

"Beckman, secure."

"Casey, secure. Sorry about the hour, General, but Bartowski is in the hospital, the victim of an apparent attempt on the life of Agent Hansen. He was driving her car and two black SUVs with government plates boxed him in and then riddled the vehicle with automatic weapons fire. He's currently in the ER but only sustained superficial wounds. However, according to Agent Hansen's report, he's unconscious and the doctors are worried about the head injury. I'll know more when she reports after the CT scan."

He took ten minutes to go over everything, leaving out nothing and answering the General's damning questions.

"Major Casey, Agent Walker is suspended pending transfer. I understand what you're saying but this is the final straw. He wouldn't have been where he was if she had been doing her job. And he wouldn't have been with Hansen, either but you're explained the 'whys' of that without being disloyal to your partner. Well, she wants Larkin, she'll have him. Keep me informed."

Agent Sarah Walker was ordered to take the first plane from LAX to DC for reassignment the next morning. She was not be given any reason other than her failure to protect her asset. Her replacement would be named at a later time pending a positive resolution of the asset's current situation.

Agent Carina Hansen would be temporarily relieved of her duties as Assistant Supervisor of Operations and assigned to a special project by direct order of the Director of the DEA. The Director put an investigation into the assassination attempt on hold pending her return to 'normal duties'.

* * *

Carina called Ellie and blurted out the truth about what had happened. She left nothing out. It took Ellie several minutes to calm her down enough to understand that someone tried to kill her but almost killed Chuck instead. She lost control during her apology to Ellie for almost getting her brother killed.

Still dressed in Burbank Hospital scrubs and taking no prisoners, Dr. Eleanor Bartowski, MD stormed Mt. Sinai demanding her brother's chart and to see him immediately. Casey was standing outside Chuck's room, more to keep the curious from gawking than anything else. Carina was sobbing into Chuck's chest and saying crazy things Casey would rather not hear when he heard the sweet lilting tones of Ellie Bartowski.

"I don't give a rat's ass _whose_ patient he is, he's my little brother and you have 15 seconds to produce his chart or I'll shove that pencil up your ass sideways, you bureaucratic turd!"

Casey chuckled and went to find her and rescue some poor nurse from an embarrassing proctological issue.

"Ellie, Chuck's room is down the hall. Just follow the sounds of Carina's sobs. I'll bring you the chart." He laughed at the look on her face and then went to secure the file from a very grateful ward clerk.

"Oh, Ellie, I'm so sorry…" The rest was lost in her sobs. Ellie hugged her and patted her back but saw Casey and snapped her fingers and held out her hand for the chart, never once stopping her patting.

"Carina, pull yourself together. You're a professional, act like one." She looked over the chart, saw a recap of his initial injuries and treatments and then gasped when she saw the CT and neuro results.

"Carina, he's going to be OK. He was struck at the base of the skull by something with a lot of energy and he's got what they call a severe contra coup concussion. It means the part of his brain opposite the impact site is the most damaged. The brain recoiled from the impact and whacked into his forehead. He'll be OK once he wakes up."

"When will that be?"

"When he wakes up. It could be in five minutes or it could be five days." '_Or he could die of old age before he wakes up but Carina doesn't need to know that.'_

"Five days? Five days? Is that normal? Is he in a coma?"

"I used that as an example, sweetie. He's not in a coma. He's unconscious. He reacts to stimuli that a coma patient wouldn't. The doctors here knew what they were doing. He's my brother and I wouldn't be sitting here if something more could be done that hasn't been."

* * *

Castle Facility  
Burbank, CA

Casey cursed and placed a call to General Beckman.

"What is it, Major? Any change in Bartowski's condition?"

"No ma'am, but I've isolated stoplight images of the government license plates on those two SUVs involved in the assassination attempt and both were assigned to vehicles currently in use by the CIA. I can't find out anything further. The files have been deleted."

"I'll bring this up at the Combine meeting tomorrow. Send me the proof you have. I can't believe Langston Graham would go so far to advance his own agenda as to assassinate a DEA agent because her boyfriend is an asset?"

"That's way above my pay grade, General. It would tend to lend credence to his threat to have control over Bartowski by having him live with Walker. Kill the girlfriend and his old girlfriend is there to offer…support?" He never would have believed Walker would be party to the murder of her best and probably only friend.

"Yes, it does but unfortunately it's all supposition without evidence. Keep me informed, Major."

* * *

Chuck woke up. His head hurt. He felt like crap and his mouth…yech. Someone crapped in his mouth while he was asleep.

The night nurse heard his groan and paged the on-call neuro specialist and also called Carina Hansen who'd finally gone home to shower, change clothes and catch a little sleep. She'd only been gone a few hours.

"So, Mr. Bartowski, what do remember about your accident?" He was deliberately vague. He needed to know if memory was affected.

"Accident? Someone shoots the crap out of my girlfriend's car and you call it an accident? Where is she, by the way? How long was I out? Where's Major Casey? Is this a CIA facility?"

He apparently got hit harder than we originally thought. He's delusional. We'll need a psych consult before we run another cat scan.

The doctor made notes on Chuck's chart and then explained that he'd been unconscious 3 days and that he was in Mount Sinai hospital in Los Angeles.

"Where are Agents Casey and Walker?" He was never left alone in a hospital. It was protocol and procedure. One of them should have been standing at his door.

"I'm not familiar with either of those two individuals. Agent Hansen left some time ago. The nurse has called her to return. She was very insistent that she be called at the first hint you were coming around. You remember your accident?"

'Uh OH…someone screwed the pooch. Accident? Must be a cover story and I just screwed up big-time.'

"Can I have my cell phone? I need to make some calls. There are procedures to be followed that haven't been implemented."

"Mr. Bartowski, even if I knew where your cell phone was, you couldn't use it here. An orderly will be along in a few minutes to shave you and I'm sure you'd like to gargle with bleach to get rid of the nasty taste in your mouth. If you're hungry I can have the kitchen staff rustle up something light. Your doctor will be in the hospital for rounds in about 4 hours. Try to get some sleep despite all these interruptions."

He made notes on Chuck's chart and scheduled him for a psych evaluation. CIA agents? _Poor bastard must have really scrambled his brain. Must have been all those drugs he used. DEA had a hold on his files. The agent who brought him in said he was a witness and someone tried to kill him._

Carina was in the shower when the hospital called and didn't check her messages when she was done. She'd been burning the candle at both ends for the past three days and she fell asleep at her kitchen table waiting for the coffee to brew.

* * *

Director Graham called John Casey and was blunt: "Major Casey, Intersect 2.0 is alive and well. Terminate Bartowski with extreme prejudice. It's time to clean up Burbank and get you back where you belong – in a cage. You have your orders, confirm mission completion with photographic evidence via email."

Casey sighed and went into the Castle armory and located a silencer for his pistol. He would accomplish his mission and then retire. The world was far too gray for him to function in any longer. He hoped Bartowski was still unconscious. It would make what was going to happen less painful for the both of them.

* * *

Langston Graham laughed when he imagined the look on Casey's face hearing his orders. Walker's dismissal had prompted a change in Graham's thinking. If the CIA couldn't have definitive control over Bartowski, he was gone. Dead. Beckman's convenient hearing before the Combine freed him up to advance the implementation schedule for Intersect 2.0 and trump her NSA hand. With this CIA triumph under his belt, the Combine would have no choice but to support his agenda.

Smiling and laughing he turned around to watch as his test subjects and programmers began the download cycle. There was a bright flash of light and extreme heat and then Langston Graham became one with the basic elements of creation – he'd been atomized.

* * *

Casey walked down the corridor to Chuck's room. Hansen was at home after finally succumbing to the nagging and badgering of the nursing staff to shower, change clothes and sleep for at least 4 hours. Her absence would make this easier. If she was in the room, well, Chuck had been right to worry about her being collateral damage of some spy vs spy war.

* * *

The Combine hearing was interrupted by news that the Intersect 2.0 had been activated prematurely and that all volunteers, programmers and even Director Graham had been killed in the explosion. Sabotage was suspected and General Beckman was put in immediate charge of the CIA and the investigation into what happened.

She'd need her best people on the investigating team. She called John Casey.

Casey looked at his cell and cursed. She probably wanted him to video the murder for her viewing pleasure.

"Casey, secure but in the middle of the liquidation. I will call you when he's dead." He sounded peeved and sarcastic and he didn't care what the heartless bitch thought. He'd be out of the NSA by the end of the day. He hung up on her.

Beckman's mind rocketed through scenarios and considering Casey's tone and the viciousness of his sarcasm she concluded he'd received orders from Graham to eliminate Bartowski. She called him back.

"I said, General, that I was in the middle of killing him. What do you and Graham want, a damned video?"

"Stand down, Major Casey. You received an unlawful order. Stand down. No one is liquidating Chuck Bartowski today or any other day if I have anything to say about it. Stand down, Major. Confirm your order."

"Standing down, ma'am. Thank you. Um, sorry about the comment."

"Perfectly understandable. But don't ever say such a thing to me again, Major. Understood?"

"Yes'm."

"Bartowski is to be taken into protective custody immediately. His female handler normally would have done it but I've borrowed another agent since Walker is gone. I'll email location, coordinates and instructions to you within the hour to a safe house. Take him to the Castle facility first and await your orders. Have Agent Hansen meet you there."

"Hansen, ma'am? She's DEA."

"She's NSA for the duration of this operation. Now, call her and get Bartowski out of there before any more CIA drones come calling. Oh, and Major Casey, one more thing."

"Yes, general?"

"Whatever Bartowski and Hansen have going for them is their business and you will not interfere. It's been blessed by a Higher Power and who are we to intervene?"

"We're um…"

"That was a rhetorical question, major. Good day." He could hear her smile through the phone.

* * *

APR


	13. New Objectives & New Opportunities

CarinaChuck11

* * *

Something for ya'll to chew over and complain about while I'm in Savannah. APR's Wife!

* * *

**The quality of decision is like the well-timed swoop of a falcon that enables it to strike and destroy its victim. ****_The Art of War – Sun Tsu_**

**Obstacles are all you can see, Nicole, when you lose sight of your objectives. ****_APR to me when we first met & I was thinking about quitting school. Nik._**

* * *

Carina Hansen's phone rang 5 times then went to voice mail. Casey cursed women agents who couldn't seem to answer their phones but laughed while he watched Bartowski try and button up his shirt. He seemed…disoriented and it was funny as hell watching him try and push a button through a buttonhole. Well, _he_ thought it was funny.

Chuck thought he was an ass and told him as much. He'd been awake and caught the gist of the conversation between Casey and the General. Liquidation. Such an unusual term for murder. God help Casey if Carina ever found out how close he'd come to killing her…what? Boyfriend? Lover? Temporary help? He wasn't sure and with his current boggled mind, he wasn't sure of anything except that he was in love with Carina "Handcuffs" Hansen and was pretty sure she felt something more than 'like' for him.

"C'mon, Chuck. Get dressed. You're 27. You've been doing this for years. And wipe that silly grin off your face. You've been staring at the wall for the last 5 minutes with that stupid grin on your face. Focus on getting the button through the buttonhole, moron."

"Screw you, Casey. Crap! I can't focus and my head feels like I got shot."

"You did." He walked over and slapped Chuck's shaking hands away from his shirt. "Jesus, don't ever tell anyone about this, Bartowski."

He buttoned Chuck's shirt and then tied his shoes for him. He knew bending over with a concussion was an invitation to puking and they didn't have time to change.

"Where's Walker? Is Larkin in town again? God, doesn't she ever get enough? Casey, I screwed up when I woke up. I asked where you guys were. I thought this was a CIA facility. Sorry."

"Under the circumstances, you're excused, this time. Walker's on her way to partner with Larkin in some South American shit hole. She screwed up, again, and this time she paid the price. Don't go all moody and feeling guilty. She broke the rules one time too many."

"Good. They deserve each other. So it's just you and me? What's the plan? And why the panic? Have we been compromised?" Casey was surprised at the vehemence in Chuck's voice.

"I'll tell you all about it on the way to the Castle to meet your new handler, Chuck. She's NSA but has a rep. Don't mess with her. She's mean and about as ugly a human being as you'll ever run into in government service and that includes the women in Congress."

He laughed at the look on his asset's face. "Wait here and don't fall asleep again. I have some calls to make."

He called Hansen again and she finally answered her cell.

"Hansen."

"Casey, secure. You are to meet me at the rear entrance to the Orange-Orange. Pack a bag with 3 – 4 days clothing and necessities. If you're gone longer than that, arrangements will be made. One hour. Done be late." He hung up before she could respond.

He walked back into the room and Chuck was curled up on the bed again, asleep. He hated to wake him but they had to get moving.

"Bartowski, wake up and move out. I have a surprise for you. Your new handler is in place and waiting for us in Burbank."

"Oh, goodie. Let me puke quickly and then we're off. Got any Demerol? Morphine? Hell, I'd settle for two Tylenols at this point."

* * *

**Castle Facility  
Burbank**

Carina parked behind the Orange-Orange and waited as instructed. Casey opened the rear door and motioned her in. He quickly explained the facility's purpose and then dropped the bomb on her.

"Carina Hansen, you are now an officer in the NSA until completion of the current operation. Your Director has sent through the paperwork. Congratulations."

"Casey, what the hell is going on? Where's Walker? Is this some kind of maneuver to split Chuck and me up? Where is Chuck?"

"Questions, questions. You're now a member of Team Intersect. Chuck is here, asleep in one of the detention cells. He's sicker than a dog but safe. Walker is somewhere else. I don't know exactly where but I hope it's a shit hole and that she's finally happy with Larkin as her partner."

"Chuck's here? Where? Can I see him?"

"First things, first, _partner_. Put your eyeball here and don't blink. Say your name when you hear the chime."

Her retina was scanned and filed, as was her voiceprint. She started to ask another question when Casey stopped her.

"Go check on Chuck for me, will ya? I got to get this all set up. If he's asleep, wake him up and get him to drink some water. I wasn't kidding you. He's sicker than a dog. Concussion."

He laughed when she practically ran back to the admin offices, swore, then found the armory and really swore and finally found the detention cell. He'd give her an hour of 'Chuck time' and then they had a conference with Beckman and their new assignment and temporary home.

He was curled up under a blanket, asleep. She hesitated and then remembered that he had to wake up and drink something.

"Chuck? Chuck? Hey, baby, it's Carina. Wake up, Chuck."

"Hey. Carina. What are you doing here?"

She lay down beside him and put her head on his shoulder and fell apart. She'd been so afraid that he'd never wake up, that the doctors were lying and she'd never have him in her life again. The past few days and nights had been hell and she was broken.

"Hey, don't cry, Carina. I can't stand seeing you cry. Please." He felt like a shit. He was glad to see her, glad she was OK. He'd dreamed over and over that she'd been killed and he was somehow alive. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose and finally her lips, nothing intense since his lip was very tender.

"Walker's gone and I'm Casey's new partner for whatever Team Intersect is. I guess I'm your new handler, Chuck. Ready to be handled? I promise to be gentle, unless we decide not to be." Her innocent smile was his undoing. He started to laugh even though it made his head pound.

"Stop, please. My head is pounding. Don't make me laugh, baby. It's killing me."

She rolled off the bed and ran to find Casey. "He's hurting and sick. What meds did they give you for him?"

" Nothing. We'll be supplied at the safe location as soon as Beckman finishes securing our covers. Give him water. A lot of the headache is dehydration."

The video conference was…interesting. Chuck sat at the conference table trying to focus on what was being said but his mind wandered and he finally gave up and just sat there, staring at the screen.

"Welcome to Team Intersect, Agent Hansen. Major Casey will fill you in on the intersect project after this briefing. First of all, operatives within the CIA staged the assassination attempt. We've found emails to various mail drops giving precise instructions on when and where the attempt was to occur. Someone had you under surveillance for quite some time and we found two tracking devices under your car, Agent Hansen. All things considered, we were all very lucky."

"Any idea who was behind the orders?" Casey had his suspicions and Beckman had hers.

"Nothing definite. We know it was not Fulcrum. It was definitely aimed at Team Intersect and was an attempt to disrupt the team. Walker is out of the picture and has been teamed up with Larkin. I feel we can stand down on the relocation alert. Any questions?"

Chuck focused on that. "Ma'am…all my stuff is at Walker's, or wherever you've taken it. Where do I live now?" He thought it sounded dumb but he needed to know. He was trying very hard to focus on things but was constantly losing his point of concentration. It was pissing him off.

"Mr. Bartowski, you still live there but it's your apartment now, yours and Agent Hansen's. Agent Hansen, your personal belonging have been moved to your new NSA-secured apartment. There are no bugs or mics, no cameras except those covering the front entrance, the approaches and the rear exit. It is totally secure. Additional weapons and equipment are in place and a manual covering operations has been left in the kitchen."

"I'll cover that after the briefing, General. What about meds for Bartowski? We were told they'd be available at the safe house."

"A package of medications and instructions are in the apartment. Everything has been taken care of. Any more questions?"

There were none and the General terminated the conference. Casey 'suggested' that Chuck go back to sleep until Hansen was briefed in and she could take him to their new apartment. He tried not to laugh as Chuck staggered off in search of a holding cell. It really wasn't funny.

"So Chuck and I are the new Chuck and Sarah? He gets a replacement for Walker and I get transferred from a job I really liked to this…place? No one even asked me if I wanted this change."

"You're a handler. There are two bedrooms. Chuck insisted although Walker had a fit. What you decide to do about sleeping arrangements is up to you two. You're adults. Figure it out. Now, before you get your panties in a twist, let me tell you about just how special Charles Bartowski is and what your real job is."

* * *

"Chuck, wake up. Chuck, let's go. Your painkillers are at the apartment. You'll feel more like a human once you get them into your system. Come on, let's go."

He woke up instantly. There was something in her tone of voice that brought all his senses on full alert. Her voice had an edge to it that he hadn't heard her use around him before. He'd heard it before but he couldn't remember the circumstances.

The ride to the apartment was made in total silence. He kept waiting for her to explode. She'd lost her dream job because of him. She'd been dragooned into the NSA because of him. Her life had changed because of him and she hadn't had any say-so in the matter. He decided he'd better bring it out into the open before much more time passed.

"Carina, I'm sorry you got dragged into this. I had no idea Beckman was going to take you away from your supervisor job at the DEA and stick you into this situation. This isn't what I envisioned us being, you the handler and me the asset – again. I understand the frat rules better than you do. There are two bedrooms…" He trailed off. Either she was ignoring him or he was just fanning the flames. He couldn't tell.

He sighed and looked out the window at all the normal people going about their normal business. He had normal once. It seemed like such a long time ago.

She pulled into the lot and left the keys in the ignition. Someone would be by to swap it out for a new car. One that didn't have listening devices and GPS trackers that hopefully had been temporarily defeated by some bug zappers Casey had installed before they left the Castle.

"Come on, Chuck. We're home." There was that something in her voice again. Impatience? Resignation? He wasn't sure. He'd have to tread lightly until he learned all her moods. He didn't want a handler/roommate who was in a pissy mood all the time.

Carina fumbled with her key. She was nervous. Chuck reached around, gently took the key chain from her trembling hand and focused on putting the key in the slot. She finally placed her hand over his and between them they got the door open.

"Excuse me." Chuck walked rapidly through the living room and down a short hallway to the bathroom, entered and locked the door. He threw up nothing but it didn't stop his body from trying to purge what wasn't there. It was all a symptom of his severe concussion. He wondered if Ellie knew he'd been 'released' from the hospital?

He brushed his teeth, used mouthwash and then brushed his teeth again. When he opened the door Carina was standing there, a worried look on her face.

"Don't lock the door again, Chuck. I need to get to you when you're sick."

He nodded and pushed past her into 'his' room and began to change clothes. Her voice from just outside the door carried that unknown tone again.

"Chuck, we need to talk and you need to take some medication that will quell the nausea and make you feel reasonably human again. I'll be in the kitchen trying to find the coffee pot and stuff."

Carina was trying hard not to cry. Everything they'd had together was gone now. He'd made it quite clear that he was the 'handled' and knew the rules. He had his own room, the smaller of the two and she wondered if Walker had made the room assignments or if Chuck just defaulted to the smaller bedroom as a courtesy or as a defensive measure?

"OK, pills then talk. I'm sure you have a lot to say but before you start let me finish what I started to say to you in the car. I'm sorry you got dragged…" She gently put her palm across his mouth saying "Shhh".

"I'm not. This is better than I could have imagined – unless me being assigned as your 'handler' is too awkward for us to continue being Chuck & Carina."

"Huh? I thought you hated losing the DEA dream job. You got all professional on me at the briefing and you wouldn't look me in the eye or respond or anything. I thought you were pissed at me and Casey and Beckman but especially me."

"Jesus, Chuck. I had to maintain a professional façade with Beckman. That lady scares the crap out of me. And yeah, at first I was pissed. I figured they were substituting one whore for another until after the conference and Casey explained to me all about what you guys really do and what you can do and how important you are."

"Is that what you think you are to me, Hansen? A whore? There are two bedrooms here for a reason, Agent. I insisted. You're not my 'handler with benefits'. You're Casey's partner, first and foremost. You two 'handle' me; you use what I can do to further your professional agendas. Me? I get to live until either you or Casey get the nod when the next attempt at an intersect comes online." He didn't know that Beckman had suspended all development on a 'new' intersect to replace Chuck. No. She wanted a new intersect to add to his existing database and one that would expand his physical and mental skills. She was well satisfied with Charles Bartowski but wanted the 'enhanced' version as well.

"Chuck…"

He got up and tore open the package containing the various pill bottles sent by the NSA doctors and read each one. The only one he recognized by name was Vicodin and he dry swallowed two of those.

"All this drama could have been avoided if Walker hadn't called me at the damned beach that night. None of this would have happened. You'd still be the happy little DEA Agent and Casey would finally get to do something he felt was meaningful. The only good thing is that she's gone and can't mess with my mind anymore."

"What about us? Chuck, we're allowed to be together. Casey was quite clear that Beckman supports what's happening between us. It was the CIA director who was pushing for Walker because he wanted to 'run' you through her but he's out of the picture."

"But your career with the DEA? Your promotion, your own life. What about those? Do you really want to be tied down to this – this _CRAP_?"

"Screw my job at the DEA. It was boring. I knew by day two that I'd made a mistake taking a supervisory job but I figured at least I had you. Well, now I have a challenging field job, a great apartment, and a gorgeous man I want nothing more than to live and grow old with and have some incredible adventures with along the way. And then there's the spy stuff outside of the bedroom…"

"Carina, help me move my stuff into _our _bedroom, will ya?"

* * *

APR


	14. little secrets & BIG SECRETS revealed

CarinaChuck13

* * *

Hey everybody, greets from Bermuda. Savannah was just a stopping point and a surprise for me. We're on our non-job-interview-honeymoon and Hamilton is wonderful. I've got souveniers for each of you. Yeah, right. Read, review, let me know. He read some of the PMs, martijn, enjoy what these suckers can't for a bit. Nicole in Bermuda...

* * *

**Casa BartowHansen**  
**Two Months Later**

Ellie and Devon knocked at the apartment door and Ellie had final instructions for Devon. "No matter how bad it is, you will take seconds, understand? She's new to all this culinary stuff and I don't want her feelings hurt, understand? She's Chuck's girlfriend and she's trying so hard to be perfect for him."

"Got it, babe. Everything's awesome, seconds on the food and keep the conversation rolling and no references to what she does for a living. Wow, Chuck works for the NSA and meets a babe in the elevator at work and here they are three months later. Awesome."

"And no questions or comments about the Blonde Bitch, Devon. You have a habit of trying to swallow your foot."

"Hey, it was a legitimate question. How was I to know Walker was her like, I dunno, Arch Enemy?"

"Well, now you know. Open your mouth and these long gorgeous legs close, understand?"

"Ellie, that's unfair and one of these days you'll threaten me with 'no sex' and I'll call your bluff."

"You couldn't last a week without being with me and you know it, honey."

Chuck answered the door and pointed Ellie to the kitchen mouthing 'emergency' and greeting Devon with a beer.

Carina was in the kitchen quietly cursing the fact that she was an accomplished seductress, experienced Cartel-buster, and a field operative of the NSA, happily living with the man of her dreams, performing incredible acts of personal heroism on behalf of her nation, but had never learned to boil water.

"Hey, Carina, let's see what you have going and then we'll see what we need to do. You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble for us. You have all that super secret stuff all day and no one expects you to come home after saving my brother's ass and cook."

Chuck had told Carina that Ellie knew about his 'other life' but not the intersect. It made things so much easier between the three of them, especially between Carina and Ellie.

"I followed the directions in the recipe you gave me and it's…ruined." She gave a sniffle and Ellie laughed.

She opened the oven and looked at the lasagna and touched it with a finger and looked at the oven temperature setting and back to Carina.

"Carina, you set the temperature but the oven didn't turn on, sweetie. It's got more controls on it than the space shuttle. My God, I need to get my brother the Engineer in here. I can't figure out how to turn the damned thing on either."

She snorted and went to get Chuck. Damned CIA made everything too damned complicated. Look at how Sarah treated Chuck. She frowned at the thought but smiled when she thought of how Carina and Chuck were so into each other that sometimes they finished sentences and just a look sent messages.

They ended up ordering a pizza and Chuck looked at Carina with a strange look on his face. "Baby, you can put anything at all on it and I'm fine with it, just no anchovies or olives, please." Carina hated anchovies and couldn't get the after-taste of olives out of her mouth.

Chuck grinned and ordered the pizzas, poured the women wine and threw Devon another beer. Another disaster averted.

* * *

She couldn't catch her breath and she was afraid she was dying as another climax tore through her.

"Chuck, please, no more. I can't handle another orgasm right now. You win. A rose and a tongue were all you needed. Wow! I can't feel my legs."

He snickered and kissed her, enveloping her in his arms. The taste of her on his tongue was a real turn-on for Carina. Oral sex a la Bartowski was something to die for. When he released her mouth she sighed contentedly.

"Honey, we need to talk about something. I haven't brought up family before because, well, because I just don't bring up family. But I want us to be open and honest with each other and I don't want to hide something important from you."

"Carina, where's this going? Are you pissed about Ellie and Devon coming over tonight? It was your idea and Devon hardly said a word. I figure Ellie threatened to cut him off if he said the wrong thing."

"Oh, no! I love your sister and Devon. I meant _my_ family."

"Please, your mom's not Beckman, is she?"

"Idiot! Of course not."

A pregnant pause.

"She's my step-mom, actually."

Chuck made a strangling sound and Carina turned on the light, fearing a seizure or something from his concussion. He was laughing!

"Hey, she could be, y'know? No, I meant my real family back home. I haven't been home in years and I was thinking, maybe, if you didn't mind, maybe I could fly over and see my mom and dad for a few days? Assuming no missions and that you're OK with it."

"Carina, are you ashamed of me?" His tone of voice said more than his words.

"Oh, Chuck, how could you think such a thing? I love you and I love being with you it's just that…"

"It's just what? You don't have a secret husband stashed away someplace, do you?"

"No. And no kids being kept by relatives. I just didn't think you'd want to go, that's all. It's not like we're married or anything. I just thought I'd see them for a few days, nothing major, honey. It's just that…" Silence.

"Please finish that sentence, Carina. Third time's the charm."

"I see you and Ellie and Devon and even Casey – how you all interact and I get…homesick."

"And just where is home, Carina?"

"Horseshoe Beach, Florida."

"OK. I'll run it by Casey and we'll go next week, OK?" She hugged him and started laughing. He could make her deliriously happy with just a few words.

"I'll call them and make sure they're not busy or anything. I haven't been home in a while."

"Any particular reason?"

"I was always traveling or on assignment or…I guess I didn't want to go home, Chuck."

"Carina, you were a DEA Agent and now you're an Agent with the NSA. Your folks should be proud of you."

"I didn't leave to join the Agency. I just…left. Can we leave it at that, please?"

"Hey, no problem. If you'd feel more comfortable going alone, I understand. I just thought we…"

"_WE_ will go together, just like we do everything else, Chuck. OK? Now, shut up. It's my turn. I figure I can make you come with just ONE finger and a nipple. Game on!"

* * *

Casey ran the vacation request past Beckman and got it approved. They were given ten days and Beckman 'suggested' they travel by military aircraft to Eglin AFB and rent a car and drive the rest of the way. The General hated her asset traveling via civilian aircraft. Too many things could go wrong and with Bartowski, trouble was almost his shadow.

"So, drive out to Edwards, catch a flight to Eglin AFB and then rent a vehicle using the company's dime. Carina, you'll carry some confidential dispatches and that will be the reason for using the NSA's travel vouchers. Chuck is your, cough-cough, security escort. Fly back using the same route. I'll see you kids in ten days."

"That also gives us a cover to carry weapons. Beckman thinks of everything." She was constantly surprising Chuck.

"Well, moron, that's why she's a General and you're an…ASSet." He laughed and left the couple to plan their vacation. The Castle would be very quiet for a welcome change without Carina's constant chatter.

* * *

**Eglin AFB**

Chuck and Carina deplaned at 4am and walked into the small terminal and Chuck requested an SDO. The airman tore his gaze away from Carina's breasts and looked at Chuck like he'd grown another head.

"You want a Secure Documents Officer _here _at this time of night?"

Chuck sighed and Carina fluttered her eyelashes at the airman and cooed

"Please, Airman? We've had a long flight and I'm really tired." She bent over the counter and flashed him some cleavage.

Some twenty minutes later a very pissed-off Captain charged into the terminal office demanding to know 'who the fuck needed an SDO at this time of night?"

"I do, Captain. And kindly keep a civil tongue in your head. There's a lady present." Chuck held up his NSA ID with the red diagonal stripe and gestured towards Carina. "She has classified NSA documents which need secured by regulation. Also, we'll need to rent a car in the morning so take us to the VOQ, please."

The captain had heard about but never seen one of the 'diagonals' and knew he'd stepped in it. He apologized profusely and then took the two 'spooks' to his headquarters where they signed paper work and released the documents for handling. He then dropped them off at the VOQ. Not a word was exchanged until Carina thanked him for his courtesy.

"Chuck, that was just mean, honey. You know when you pulled your ID your 9mm was visible? I think he almost crapped his trousers." She laughed and together they registered for a double and left a wake up call.

Chuck hadn't slept much on the plane and Carina had so he was tired and she was wired. "Chuck, when we meet my folks tomorrow, don't be surprised if they don't call me Carina."

"OK. You have a nickname?"

"No. Carina's not really my name."

"Carina, this is not really the time to be telling me this. Really. I've known you for several months, we've been living together and doing things to each other that are probably illegal but so much fun and you're just getting around to telling me your name is not Carina?"

"I knew you'd be pissed. I meant to tell you a bazillion times, baby, but either we got busy," she fondled him by way of example, "or it just wasn't the right time. I wasn't deliberately deceiving you, Chuck, it just really never meant anything to me. You know me as Carina and it's the 'trade name' I use. DEA agents going deep cover never use their real names even in daily business with other agents."

"OK, that makes sense and yeah, we do 'get busy' a lot. So, unless it's a secret you can't tell me, what's your real name?"

"Bertha."

"Bertha?"

"Yeah, Bertha."

"Please tell me your last name isn't really Butz."

"No, and my name's not Bertha. It's Caroline Regina Hansen. I just took the first syllable of Caroline and the last syllables of Regina."

"I like Caroline. Can I call you that in private? It could be our 'secret'."

"You're not mad? I should have told you."

"Nah. You had a good reason. So is Carina your legal name?"

"No. Just the name we use in the agencies. Like Casey's real name is…"

"No, don't tell me. If I'm supposed to know, he'll tell me."

* * *

They left early the next morning. Carina rented a Mustang convertible and wanted the top down and of course got her way. Chuck really didn't care. He planned on sleeping most of the way since she kept him up half the night apologizing for not telling him her name in her own special way.

"Caroline, do me a favor. Wake me up when you have another mind-blowing secret to tell me otherwise, wake me when we get there, OK? You tired me out and I'm still recovering from the ambush." The last checkup had cleared him for operations and other than the occasional bout of nausea or vertigo from sudden bending or standing ('that's perfectly normal, Mr. Bartowski, given the severity of your concussion') he felt great although he still slept more than he usually did.

She pulled over to the side of the road and looked at him carefully. "Are you sick? Why didn't you tell me? Is it your head? Did you bring your meds? I'll put the top up. The sun! Damn it, how thoughtless of me."

He started laughing. "Stop. Please. You're killing me with kindness."

"You'd tell me if there was anything wrong, wouldn't you, baby?"

"Sure. Now, drive. I want to sleep."

They arrived a little after 3pm and Carina gave him the 30-second tour of the town of 200 souls. "Chuck, there are more people in our apartment complex than in this town. And with the condos being developed, it will double in size and still have fewer people than our complex."

They drove along the Gulf Coast until Carina turned off onto a shell-covered road that ran parallel to a canal for about 50 yards. She pulled up beside a large glass-fronted, multi-level beach house that sat beside the canal on piers.

"This is home, Chuck. After my dad retired we moved here. I left as soon as I could. There was nothing here for me. Now, everything I ever wanted is sitting next to me in the car and I'm back here. Crazy, huh?"

"Nope. I do have that effect on people."

"Idiot."

* * *

A large man walked out onto the deck and then turned and yelled something to someone in the house. Carina was out of the car and up the steps to the deck in a flash and had the man in a hug before Chuck could get all the way out of the car. He popped the trunk and pulled out their suitcases and walked to the steps. He looked up and saw a large man whose features were masked by the sun directly behind him.

"Let me give you a hand with those, son. I'm Bill Hanson. I doubt Caroline had the presence of mind to tell you who we were. I know you're 'Chuck' and work for the damned NSA, one of them satellite interpreters or something. Irene and your girlfriend are probably plotting where you will sleep and with whom. Sleep with her or don't. I'm too old to have an opinion. Besides, no sense being a damned hypocrite if you were together last night now, is there?"

He grabbed the bag from Chuck and turned and walked up the stairs and into the house through the French doors motioning him to follow.

Carina walked back out and hugged him, tears on her cheeks. "Thank you for coming with me. It means a lot to me. Just – don't judge him by his brusque manner, honey. He's a good man, really." He wiped the tears from her cheeks again seeing the true beauty before him, blue eyes, slightly hollow cheeks, a strong jaw with full and sensuous lips and a firm gaze. She looked like a cover girl.

"It's where I belong, wherever you are, Caroline. I hope those are good tears."

"They are. I'm happy to be home and to see them both. And I wanted them to meet you, Chuck. Really. I wanted them to see that I can do better than scumbags and losers. I wanted them to see the man I love. Thank you for coming."

"Let's avoid any awkward situations, Caroline. What are the sleeping arrangements? I'd rather know in advance so I don't look like a total sleaze bag if I make the wrong assumption and offend your parents."

"We're together in the 3rd floor bedroom. It the quietest and furthest from theirs so you don't have to worry about disturbing them with our lusty outbursts."

"You nut. Introduce me and let's get comfortable and begin answering the inevitable questions, OK?" They walked in and Carina began the introductions.

"Chuck, this is my Dad, Bill. Daddy, this is Chuck." The big man who'd only been a sun-blocked outline turned around and smiled, offering Chuck his hand.

The flash rocked him and he was totally unprepared for the surge of information that suddenly rammed itself into his brain. It was like being shot all over again. Instead of the 'girly eyelash fluttering' he squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his temples, swaying while Caroline's voice in the distance whispered his name.

He'd been unconscious only a minute or two and her parents couldn't understand why she refused to let them take him to Cross City to the hospital. She'd vaguely mentioned a previous injury as a cause and ignored them. Her father was relentless.

"OK, OK, you want the truth? He was driving my car and I was following in his because of engine problems and someone tried to kill me by shooting up my damned car. He got hurt and it was my fault. This," she pointed to Chuck, "is what happens sometimes. And before you jump on it, Daddy, I love him and did before the shooting. It's not pity or guilt or obligation. It's the real deal."

"Jesus, Irene, take her into the kitchen and make her some tea or whatever you women do when you get the damned vapors! I was just worried about the boy, that was all. I saw how you two looked at each other. I used to look at your mother that way before she got all mean and ornery and turned 40."

"Bill Henson, you didn't think that way the other night. I seem to remember…"

"Car…" He tried to speak but his tongue was all twisted.

"Chuck! How do you feel? Can you sit up? Need a Vicodin?"

"No, no. I'm good. Wow. Great first impression I made." He sat up, blushing. The flash was still fresh in his mind and he was having trouble reconciling what he'd flashed on. There was a tremendous amount of data and some of it was contradictory. Her father was dead but here he was. He'd been reported killed in Russia in 1981 the same year he supposedly retired for medical reasons and reported killed again 9 years later in Albania and yet again in 1996 in Kazakhstan. The visual cues were never wrong.

Bill Hansen was retired from the CIA and had been one of the 'Founding Fathers' of the entity known as Fulcrum.

* * *

APR


	15. Chuck Meets Her Parents

CarinaChuck14

* * *

Another one. A short one. Had 'High Tea' with little white gloves and all that Brit stuff. I met some peeps from Canada and we're going to dinner together when J get's back from playing golf. Beaches are so nice here. No yucky oil. We rented two vespas but i'd rather hang on to him...lol

* * *

Dinner with the Hansens was pleasant, the food was very good and there weren't too many awkward silences. Caroline kept an eye on Chuck all through dinner, looking at him curiously. She knew he'd flashed on her father but she'd never seen him react so…violently. She'd tried to talk with him before dinner but he just deflected her inquiries with a skill to which she found herself willingly vulnerable.

"Sweetheart, what did you flash on? And please don't tell me that wasn't a flash. I guess you know my dad's retired CIA, one of the old bulls who couldn't keep up with the politics."

"Caroline, I don't know what happened. I got overwhelmed with data, files, photographs and it knocked me for a loop. I can't even begin to make sense of it all. It's just a jumbled mass of contradictions right now. Don't worry. I won't freak out again."

"No, that's not what I meant, Chuck. I meant…"

Whatever she was going to say was lost in a kiss that blanked her mind for a few seconds and left her wishing they weren't due downstairs in a few minutes.

"Charles Irving Bartowski, quit doing that. You can't keep me in the…"

Another kiss accompanied by caresses and murmurs stopped any thought of conversation.

"You can't keep kissing me to…"

When her mother called them for dinner she had resigned herself to waiting until he couldn't distract her with his tongue and lips and hands and…

* * *

"Chuck, grab your beer and let's sit out on the deck and watch the sun go down and tell each other lies. Do you fish?" Bill Hansen was curious and a curious ex-CIA agent who was also the father of your girlfriend/handler was not to be ignored.

They got situated in cushioned side-by-side Adirondack chairs and Bill Henson opened up the conversation with "So, you're Steve's boy? How's he doing? Still have his head in computers?"

Chuck's mind whirled and finally he parried with "Well, Mallard, he's been missing for the past 10 years. He was into computers and programming. I don't know what he's up to now."

Bill took a long drag on his cigar, exhaled and then chuckled. "Oh, boy. It's been years since anyone called me that. Not many people who know that name are still alive. Your dad tell you about us?"

"No. My dad never said much of anything about much of anything. He was a little 'confused' in the last days before he left us."

"So you're an agent and you're using my daughter to find me and then find the other Founders, huh? You fucking CIA agents are scum and filth. She loves you and all you're doing is handling her." He sighed and took another drag on his cigar. "I'll make you a deal. Agent Bartowski, let my wife and daughter go and I'll tell you what you want to know, fully and completely. My word on it."

Chuck started to laugh and that earned him a glare from the man Chuck now realized reminded him of an aging and overweight Tom Selleck.

"_Her_ handler? Oh, shit, that's funny. _Agent _Bartowski? That's a riot. Casey's going to split his face laughing about that one."

"OK, maybe the terms are dated but the meaning's the same. You're using my daughter to get to me."

"Bill, she's _my_ handler. _I'm _just an asset. _She's_ the agent. And no, I had no idea who the hell you were until she introduced us. Man, Fate's got a wicked sense of humor. I love your daughter and would die protecting her and her family. Jesus, _Agent Bartowski_?" He laughed and finally sobered up enough to talk.

"So you really love her? No bullshit? This is all just a coincidence?"

"Yep. I do and it is. We first got together when she was DEA and then stuff happened and she got dragooned into the NSA and is my handler. Neither of us knew much about the other but we fell in love before any of the handler crap happened. My old handler was CIA and she just screwed up too much and Beckman picked Carina to take her place since we were dating."

"Beckman? Georgie Beckman? Oh, shit. He's a Founder, too. I can't believe he's still alive."

"No, Diane Beckman, General Beckman. She runs NSA and CIA now through the Combine."

"Oh, shit. Not her? A general? She was George's second wife, ambitious as hell and a lot younger than him. A real looker. She was running some project when the five of us started talking about an Intel Clearinghouse that could leverage the networking of agents to make intel available to those who needed it without a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. Leverage. That's where 'Fulcrum' comes from."

"Who were the five? The other Founders?"

"Me, Major General George Beckman, Deputy Director Lanny Graham, Director Belinda Todd and the rep from Foggy Bottom, Under Secretary of State Linda Mann."

"'Lanny' wouldn't be short for Langston, would it?"

"Yeah. Black guy, funny as hell but smart as a whip. Great field agent, lousy politician. We all hated the politics and the barriers between the intel communities. For example, you had Defense Intelligence Agency, NSA, CIA, the brand new DEA, State Department Intelligence, Commerce even had an intel unit. None of us could 'talk' to one another without a flippin' act of Congress. We just wanted some way to pool all the intel data for the common good."

"Graham's dead. I never heard of any of the others."

"So, what now, Chuck. What's on your agenda?"

"Whatever Caroline wants to do. We're on vacation. As for this conversation…"

"Yeah, what about this?"

"Never happened. I might call on you from time to time to tell me things about the good old days though. Fulcrum's not the entity you guys wanted. It's rogue and I think they're the one's that tried to kill Carina and make it look like the CIA. That's what NSA thinks, that it was all CIA."

"Fair enough. Now, what are your intentions towards my daughter?"

"Stay the course. I won't make her a widow. We both know my time's limited. She knows it and I know it. She just ignores it."

"Then quit wasting time sitting out here with me. Go find her and take the boat out for a cruise. She knows how to handle it. It's over at the Marina. Take the skimmer. Dress casual. There's a bar and band and food over there. Enjoy an evening together. I'll explain things to Irene. She knows the drill."

"Not tonight, Bill. Tonight's her night to reconnect with you two. You get your ass back in there and please, don't hassle her about what she's done. She's my handler and I have this thing about my handlers…they're my family, got it?"

"I'll send her out with another beer. Don't be out here too long. She'll worry you have some plot cooking or that you don't feel comfortable here."

"Me? I'm not the plotter. Your daughter's the one with the scheming genes. I'm just a nerd who won the super model. An inspiration to programmers everywhere."

He father thought about that and then laughed. "Nerd? Yeah, sure. I saw the look, the eyes that never quit scanning, yeah, programmer. But I saw the way you two looked at each other and I guess I can overlook your other shortcomings."

"So we talked about fishing and you're trying to convince me to waste a day on the water so you can determine my 'true intentions', OK? I don't want her homecoming ruined by real life."

"Oh, yeah. You'll do, Chuck. Just don't disappoint my baby girl, young man. Could have fatal consequences."

"Go. Be nice to her…Mallard."

"Asshole." But he smiled when he said it. A real smile, not the fake-never-reaching-the-eyes smile he'd been greeted with. Damn, he really _did_ look like Tom Selleck – old.

* * *

Between the full meal, two beers and the stress of the flash, Chuck dozed off in the evening sun waking only when Caroline lowered herself onto his lap and put her head on his chest and started talking.

"Chuck, my dad said you told him the truth about us, about how we met and who we are and what we are to each other. He said you are 'good people' and that I should keep you around a while. So I guess I will, at least for a while."

"Ya think?"

"This being 'in a relationship' stuff is all new to me. I never worried about pleasing a guy outside of bed before so cut me some slack on the relationship errors, OK, Chuck? I'm really trying not to screw this up."

"Then quit trying so hard. Just be honest and open and relax. We'll make mistakes and we'll fix 'em. Now, let me up before you folks think I'm ignoring them, OK?"

"Tomorrow night you and I are going to the Marina for dinner and then a moonlight cruise on my Dad's boat. If we're really lucky, it'll storm."

He looked at her curiously. "Chuck, think. Boat, making love, waves bouncing us around…"

"Pervert."

* * *

**Lima, Peru**

"Sarah, you had no reason to kill that man. We could have gotten our information without killing anyone and now the locals have been alerted by their police informers that 'someone' is working the cartel."

"What's the matter, Bryce? Can't handle a little blood? He saw our faces. He could finger us to his bosses. He was a threat and I eliminated it."

"So now what? We leave town and come back in a few weeks and start all over again? We're supposed to develop an asset network, not pick their brains for current info and then shoot them."

"We'll lay low, do the tourist thing. What's the matter, Bryce? Getting cold feet? This is what we're trained to do. It's what _I _was trained to do. Make the mark trust me, turn him and drain him. I do the dirty work, Bryce, and you get credit as my partner. You don't have them grunting over you, sweating on you, touching you like a lover does. You just sit back and monitor the bugs and cameras. I know you like to watch, sweetie. I know it gets you off."

"Sarah, you need... hell I don't know what you need. I think we need to take a vacation, relax, decompress. Maybe…Cabo? Rio?"

"Sure, sweetie. Why not? I can work on my tan and maybe you'll get lucky." There was no affection or jocularity in her voice. She was all business, 24/7, and had been since being 'exiled' to South America and out of contact with what was happening back "home". He was afraid of his partner, of what she'd become.

'_I need to formalize contacts with Fulcrum. He's going to wimp out on me or worse, turn me in as 'psychologically unreliable' and I'll lose field status and any hope of getting my revenge. I'll give them the intersect and I'll be more than his handler this time around. No rules. He'll be mine. He'll cooperate and we'll become rich and powerful. He loves me. He'll do it for me. My Chuck won't disappoint me. As for the others…Casey and that yeast infection they call an 'agent'…I'll kill them both but not before I tell Chuck all about John Casey's on-going affair with Carina Hansen.'_

APR


	16. Sarah Walker Goes Rogue

CarinaChuck15

Editor: Just a little something to keep ya'll interested. Tired. Went parasailing today and did some awesome souvenier shopping. I got something for all ya'll. ONLY 83 here today and a light shower. Sure sucks to be a yankee. Nik

* * *

**Horseshoe Beach, FL**

Bill Hansen was no one's fool. You didn't work the Balkans for 25 years and survive without being a great judge of character. His daughter's boyfriend was one of the good guys. He was pleased she'd finally quit trying to clean up the world and moved into an area where she could make a real contribution.

She obviously was in love with Chuck and he was totally committed to her, something her mother noticed during the first 30 minutes of their conversation with their daughter while Chuck dozed on the deck. Some of the stories she told them were unsettling but the 'moral' of each seemed to be that the couple emerged stronger.

"Caroline, you better go and wake him up before the skeeters discover fresh meat. Take him another beer and then maybe you two should drive over to the Marina. They have live music, dancing and a great menu. You're on vacation. Go have fun." Her father was trying to get rid of her for a few minutes so he could fill his wife in on what he'd learned.

"Fine. But I'll bet he won't want to go tonight. I have orders to 'reconnect' and I can't do that at the Marina, now, can I? We'll go tomorrow night, I promise."

When she'd gone out to the deck Bill turned to his wife with a grin.

"Honey, he's not an agent and he's not a danger to her. She's his handler and he's some kind of super computer wizard and she protects him. Actually, I think that might not be true. He's an operative but just hasn't realized it yet. His eyes give him away. He actually threatened me if I made her cry or gave her a hard time. Imagine that? And he called me 'Mallard' and he's Steve Bartowski's kid. Imagine that?"

"Well, Caroline loves him and he loves her. Good enough for me. I just wish she'd get out of the intel business altogether. It's changed, Bill, since you and I met. They have idiot rules with idiot 'managers' running agents instead of experienced older operatives. No wonder things are in such a mess."

Even if you really listened closely, you'd never know English was her second language. It was only when Irena Tereshkova Hansen got angry or passionate that you could detect her Russian accent.

* * *

The vacation was good for them. They relaxed, Carina spent time with her mother and also learned some cooking skills while Chuck fished with Bill off the dock or off his boat 4 or so miles offshore. He also opened up a lot more because he trusted the older man to keep his confidences. They were on his boat when so many questions were answered.

"So there's no way they can get this information out of your head? Man, that's wild. All the various agencies' data all in one head. I can see why Beckman worries. You realize that you're the goal of the old Fulcrum? Having fingertip access to all the intel from all sources. What you refer to now as the 'Combine'. We never figured they'd load it into one mind. You're a valuable commodity, Chuck."

"Yeah, and that's why I have two NSA handlers and get the juicy missions. So far, so good. I just…"

"You just what, Chuck?"

"I worry about Caroline when they get the order to eliminate or extract me. I worry she'll do something stupid and heroic and get hurt. Sometimes I wish I was still in this alone. All I've done by falling for Caroline is to create potential collateral damage."

"Hey, if anything like that comes up and you can run, come here. We're off the books down here and the boat's tanked for 3,000 miles. I've got contacts all along the Gulf and Caribbean that will help you two out along the way. I've even got a safe house down in Belize. You're welcome to it, Chuck. Caroline knows about it. Just keep it in mind, son."

"Thanks. I just hope it won't come to that. If I can get her out of the way when it comes down, that's good enough for me."

"Well, it won't be good enough for her. She's her mother's daughter and she'll hunt them down and kill them, one by one, and that's the truth. And she'll find you if it takes her years. So don't put her through that, Chuck. Run."

"We'll see. We've never talked about it but it's been the elephant in the room a lot of nights."

"Talk with her. Don't shut her out. My girl's got devious genes. Don't let the fear get you. Talk to her. Share with her. Don't shut her out, please."

"You sound like you've been around the block with this, Bill."

"Yeah. Irene and I, well, our situation wasn't all that different. Not at first. I mean there was no secret computer in her head back then, just information we needed and I debriefed her. Man, how she hated me at first. She thought I'd played her, used her and then when I got assigned as her case officer, the wheels really came off the trolley."

"Oh, crap. She's…does Caroline know?"

"Yeah. It's one of the things that made her leave. She thought we'd lied to her all those years. We did, but just background stuff. Not the important stuff like that we loved her and each other and the rest was just politics. We sat her down one day and just told her the truth because we thought we might have to go deep. That's how she knows about Belize."

"And now?"

"Her mother talked with her the first time she got the chance, told her more of the truth than she could probably handle but she understands now, especially in light of her relationship with you. Believe it or not, it made it seem less unsavory to her."

* * *

It was almost time to head in when Casey called him for his 'daily check-in'. He'd probably already called Caroline and now was ensuring she hadn't sold him out to Fulcrum or killed him in frustration, something he'd already suggested to her during the 'difficult period'.

"Chuck, sorry, but I got to pull you back. Beckman's in a tizzy. You're going into protective custody at FT Meade. It's not a bunker, Chuck; it's just a house in a subdivision. You and Carina will remain together and you'll run missions out of Meade."

"Casey, if it's the bunker, leave Carina out of it. Just 'kill me off' and disappear me. I don't want anything happening to her, you understand me, Major? She's never to know. Please?"

Bill had already fired up the twin-diesels when he saw the look on Chuck's face. He'd have to refuel at the Marina and lay in some groceries but he'd have everything ready for the kids to leave before nightfall.

"Chuck, it's not like that. Listen, this is off the record but reports are coming in from moles in Fulcrum that Walker turned and is Fulcrum now and she's buying her place in the organization by bringing you in. That's the truth."

"No fucking way Sarah Walker would ever betray her country, Casey. Larkin, maybe but not Sarah. What's the source of the intel?"

"Larkin. He called Beckman and said she was unstable and needed to be brought in. They found him all cut up in their hotel room in Lima, and it looks like Walker's work. He's alive but not a pretty sight and he's barely hanging on."

"When was this?" He needed a timeframe. If it really was Walker, she knew his weaknesses.

"Two days ago. CIA in Lima finally connected the dots. Freaked the General out. She's been on the horn organizing an extraction.

"Shit. She could be in L.A. right now. Bring Ellie into the fold. Sarah can use her as leverage and she knows I'd cave."

"Already done it. Devon, too. She's pissed but she understands. I figured you'd tell her the basics, eventually and I was right. It was the right thing to do. Made this a lot easier. Devon's flipping out but Ellie's handling it. She's just worried sick about her little brother and his girlfriend."

Chuck figured Ellie would be the cooler head.

"OK, A chopper is on the way to your location right now. It'll take you to Eglin and you'll fly back to FT Meade. I'll meet you at NSA HQ. I'm escorting your sister and Devon. Be careful, Numb Nuts."

"You too, Casey. See you tomorrow. Have someone take care of the rental car, OK? Bill's done enough." He disconnected the phone call, shaking his head. He had a lot of explaining to do without explaining much.

"Bill, I'm sorry about this but…"

"Hey, I figured it out from your side of the conversation. Your cover is blown and you have to run back into protective custody. It's not a bunker or a cell, Chuck. We spent two years in the special subdivision at Meade. Even had a pool. Caroline was just a little girl then but oh, how she loved the pool."

Carina kissed her mother goodbye and hugged her, telling her not to worry, that she had an awesome bodyguard and then she went to say goodbye to her father.

"Daddy, we're coming back. You guys made quite an impression on Chuck and he really liked fishing. We're coming back, Daddy. I promise."

"See that you both come back, honey. I like your young man. He reminds me of me at that age. Cocky, tall, thin…" He laughed when she smacked his arm but then he got serious.

"You remember what I told you about Belize, Caroline. Take him there and lay low. Don't trust them, Caroline. Ultimately, they're just in it for themselves. You two have a safe trip back and tell him not to worry about us. He will, y'know. He's good people."

* * *

The chopper picked them up in the marina parking lot and three hours later they were on a NSA business jet to FT Meade. Their 2-man escort sat in the front of the aircraft giving the agents privacy.

"Caroline, I'm sorry about all this. I'll make it up to you. We'll come down in the fall and spend some real time here. I liked your folks. I think I made a fairly good impression on your mom and your dad didn't toss me overboard when he had the chance."

"Yeah, they like you. I got a thousand questions from my mom but managed to keep her at bay. She'll worry about us and there's nothing we can do about that. I think a phone call or two a week will help calm them down. It's Ellie I'm worried about. I know she's giving up a life she really loves."

"Well, hopefully it's only temporary until we take Walker out."

"Chuck, I don't think you should be involved in it, sweetheart. It's too personal."

"It's personal, but not because of any feelings I have for her. It's personal because she's a threat to you and to my family. That makes it very personal. We need to talk about that but first, I want to hear all about the life you lived before you joined the DEA, Caroline. Not the BS you prepped for the general public, I mean the truth."

"Can it wait until we're alone?" She glanced at the escort. "I mean, alone in bed with you holding me? It'll make it easier for me, please?"

"OK, but no deflecting, Carina Hansen. No fondling, groping, sucking, nipping, nibbling, tickling, kissing or using your lips or tongue. Talk, OK?"

"Spoil sport."

"I want you to think about something, Caroline. Seriously think about it. We might have to split up and I'd like you to stay around with Ellie. She'll be scared and…"

"What do you mean, split up? You mean like, break up or separate for the mission?"

"I mean that if Beckman buys my wild assed plan, I'll need to go solo back to Burbank where this all started. I need to use myself as bait and it'll be more believable if you're not there. Neither of you. Let me tell you what I think would work…"

He talked and talked and then stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were closed but he could see moisture building up at the corners. Without looking at him, she got up and walked to the lavatory and stayed there until just before they landed. When she sat down beside Chuck she'd changed. He could see it in her eyes. She'd been crying and even after repairing her makeup it was apparent. Caroline was gone. Carina was back.

"No, Chuck. No. It won't work that way at all. Keep the basic framework but add some gimmicks to explain why you seem…unfettered. She'll believe it. It fits into her current mindset. It adds another layer of risk but removes several others because I – Will – Have – Your – Back. No objections, Chuck. I won't lose my guy to the opposition without a fight. Take it or leave it. Beckman won't go for your plan without it. Not if both your handlers object – and we will."

* * *

APR


	17. Broken and Killed on the Beach

CarinaChuck16

Editor's notes: OK, getting rained out is no fun. Here's something to read and REVIEW! Ha. Had a HORSEburger and he didn't tell me what it was until I was done. They eat horses here! Fish for me from now on. Barbarians. This is for the Dutchman and jarek. Get better soon, Martijn - Nik

* * *

"War is a series of catastrophes which result in victory." - Albert Pike

* * *

NSA HQ  
FT Meade, MD

"It seems unnecessarily risky, Mr. Bartowski. No. Permission denied."

"General, there is no reason to kill her. She's sick. Mentally ill. We don't even execute serial killers who are mentally ill. She's given long and honorable service doing some disgusting things for her country. She deserves a chance to get well and live some semblance of a normal life." Chuck was passionate in his defense of his blonde former handler.

He glanced at Casey who was staring at the General and Carina who was looking at her nails as if debating whether or not to get a manicure. No help from his handlers.

"General, please! I can hand-trank her with a dart at the beach. It's the honorable and humane thing to do. She's not going to try to harm me. She thinks I'm her paycheck and ticket to wealth and power. You knew she was nuts before she came to Burbank. At least Graham did. I've looked into her file, something I never did before because I respect all my handlers' privacy, past and present. She was on a watch list due to 'deteriorating emotional condition and judgment issues'. That's why she was given a 'soft' assignment. You _owe_ her a chance, General."

Beckman at least had the decency to look away and blush. Her Agency did not wring the last ounce of utility out of agents. Agent burnout was dealt with in its earliest stages, something the CIA ignored.

"All right, Mr. Bartowski. Go about your preparations and be ready to fly out to Burbank in the evening. Your handlers will accompany you on the flight and then assume their duty stations. You will be in constant contact via GPS and cell phone. Medical is waiting to perform the implants. I should have thought of this earlier."

Chuck blanched and Carina reached over and took his hand in hers, not caring a bit that the General was seated just across the desk from them. She didn't agree at all with what he was going to do but she was bound by her love for him to support his efforts. She planned on being by his side every second until they separated in Burbank.

While Casey went to get the car, Chuck and Carina shared a brief moment alone. "Chuck, you don't have to do this. No one would think less of you if you just waited for her to take the bait and then be detained and taken into custody. You don't have to actually be there. Someone who looks enough like you to pass her scrutiny in the waning light of the early evening hours can do the job. It's a good plan. I just hate being away from you, even if it's only 50 yards."

"Casey will have a scope on her and a trank rifle ready to fire if anything goes wrong. Carina, I don't know exactly why, but I think me being the one to actually take her down will speed up her recovery. It'll be easier for her to focus all her hate on me rather than someone she might actually meet again."

"Chuck, what do you mean by that?"

"Ask Casey about the hospital and his unannounced visit. Just promise me you won't hurt him, Caroline. He's my friend who got caught up in a situation he had no control over. I told you he was an honorable man."

"OK, Ill ask him but Chuck, you better not be too damned groggy from the anesthesia tonight. I want some serious loving, Mr. Bartowski. I need it, Chuck. I'm so scared of what might happen."

"Piece of cake, Caroline, piece of cake."

* * *

The implants took less than the two hours planned and he was able to walk on his own back out to the car, albeit with a limp where they stitched closed the incision on the inside of his thigh. The implant was inserted using the same path used by a heart catheterization, up the femoral artery and into the heart. Casey stared at him then shook his head and got behind the wheel. Chuck and Caroline got in the backseat and she made him lie down with his head in her lap.

She almost whispered her questions to him and he just nodded or gave one-word answers.

"Did it hurt, honey?"

"Yes."

"I'll bet the neck was the worst, wasn't it?"

He nodded in the affirmative. It hurt. It still hurt.

"Do you want a pain pill? No big deal if you do, Chuck."

"Nope. Good to go. Got a hot date."

"You'll be asleep in five minutes."

"Never stopped you before, Caroline", he whispered. He grinned to take any hint of 'things in the past' out of the comment. He meant between them.

"How would you know, if you were unconscious?"

"You leave marks."

"Idiot."

"Pervert."

"Chuck, I wish you'd take yourself out of play on this one. I know, I know, it's Sarah and you owe her but Chuck, she's not Sarah anymore. That was just a role she was playing. She's who she is when she's not in deep cover. That's who you'll be dealing with tomorrow night, not Sarah Walker."

He gave her the strangest look and then said with icy coldness, "I'm not the guy she's used to dealing with anymore either."

* * *

NSA Apartment  
Burbank, CA  
16 hours later

"Bartowski, remember, the initial shock will temporarily stun you, almost render you unconscious. The second will stop your heart. Don't worry about crying out. This is all about deception, not courage. We'll have medics standing by. Just get it done. And don't screw it up, Chuck. I don't want Carina gunning for me, too."

He nodded. He was afraid. The implants would work but he worried about it appearing authentic in front of an experienced agent like Sarah. If she suspected any thing he was dead – for real this time.

* * *

He took her 8th call. He figured if he didn't, she might just give up and go another route that they weren't prepared for. As he sat alone in the apartment he couldn't help feeling abandoned even though he knew that Casey, Carina and two squads were positioned around the meeting site.

"Bartowski, secure. What do you want this time, Carina? It's too early for check-in and it's automated anyway. I finished the intel reviews completely so what do you have to bitch about tonight? And the answer is still 'NO', Agent Hansen. It'll always be 'NO'." He rushed his words, sounding aggravated and annoyed as if this was a ritual he could do without.

"Chuck, it's Sarah. Sarah Walker. Are you OK?"

"Sarah Walker," said with all the disdain and sarcasm he could muster. "Why do you care? You left me with them. I was unconscious 5 days and you left and went back to Bryce. I don't need any more crap in my life. I don't need anymore shit from an 'Agent'. Hansen and Casey provide more than enough shit on a daily basis."

"Chuck, honey, they sent me away. They said I got you hurt and then they put that DEA bitch in my place. I never wanted to leave you, baby, believe me." She could imagine what he was so adamantly saying 'NO' to. Hansen wanted sex and he was doing the only thing he could do to feel some control – refusing to sleep with her. She was so proud of him.

"What? Bryce boring you? Figure you could use a good laugh and call me from South America? Well, the joke's on you. I don't have handlers anymore. You'd have been reassigned regardless of whether we had anything going. I've got a thing in my neck that keeps track of me and an implant in my heart that can take care of any security problems. Knocks me out if they push a button and kills me if they hold it down long enough."

There was a gasp and then silence on the other end.

"Look, if she calls and I don't answer in 60 seconds, I get a shock and then 30 seconds later I get a really bad headache. I really can't tie up the phone. Say 'hi' to Bryce for me. I have to have this line clear. It's only a minute until I do the check-in."

"My God, what have they done to you? No handler? Just phone calls? That's not right, Chuck. It's just not right. Can you get free and meet me at our beach?"

"You're in Burbank? Why? Oh, of course. Casey probably couldn't do it because of his 'honor thing' so you got the nod. It must be like a vacation for you. Fly in to LA, see the sights, eat dinner at some swank restaurant, drive out to Malibu and kill an obsolete asset, then catch the plane back to South America. Yeah, sounds like Beckman and her sense of irony. Makes me wonder if the kill switch even works."

"No, God damn it. I'm not here to kill you, baby. I love you, Chuck, and I can get you out of this damned nightmare. Don't worry, honey. I'll take care of everything. There are people who will take us in, help us, employ our skills and pay us to do the right things for a change. All I'm asking is that you trust me one last time and meet me. I'll explain everything then."

"After the check-in. I'm free to go anywhere in a 15-mile radius anyway so I'll see you in an hour. Sarah, if you don't show, it's OK. Things have changed. It's OK. I know about you and Bryce. At least one of us got something out of this. Just make it fast and don't hurt Ellie. Now, please hang up. I don't want another headache."

He thought she was going to kill him and seemed resigned to it. And he still protected his family as best he could. She couldn't blame Hansen for wanting her man. She'd kill her at the first opportunity, but she couldn't blame her.

"I'll be there. Bryce and I are through. I've waited for a reason to return and I have the right one now. I'm going to save your ass, Chuck, and then it's mine forever. We'll be together, partners, lovers, husband and wife, just like you wanted and no government rules to stop us. I'll be there."

"Yeah, well, I won't hold my breath. Listen I have to clear the line. I don't want a massive headache. I'll see ya when I see ya."

"I remember how you stayed with me when I was poisoned even after everyone else had written me off, everyone but you, Chuck. I remember how you figured out how they were doing it when no one else cared. I'll be there. I won't let you down again, not ever."

He hung up on her. He hoped he'd sounded resigned, depressed and ready to end it all. A lot depended on her perception and belief that he was at the end of his rope, disgusted with his handlers and afraid of the consequences of breaking the 'rules'.

Sarah Walker was livid. Sitting in her r

* * *

ented sedan, she was mulling over the conversation with Chuck. He was so depressed, lost and seemed almost willing to welcome an end to his existence. They would pay for what they'd done to him. She knew he was afraid of her, wary of all agents and considering his plight, she couldn't blame him at all.

First they'd go to the Fulcrum hive and have his 'kill switch' deactivated temporarily. It might prove useful if he didn't respond to her the way she wanted. It never hurt to have a little leverage over him.

Once he was free from possible harm from the agencies, they'd go deep and recover. He'd work the intel requests from the Elders and agents and they'd be able to live the life they should have had before Graham and Beckman sent her away. Marriage, children, all the things he wanted before were now what she wanted.

She called her tactical team and issued new orders. She wanted a fast boat off the beach, far enough out to avoid detection but close enough to extract Chuck if there was trouble. She didn't believe the 'no surveillance' comment he'd made. It was there. He just couldn't see it. One of the things she really liked about Fulcrum was that she called the telephone number, stated her business and then hung up. Using a bogus Dial-A-Prayer as a cover contact was great tradecraft. Still, an acknowledgment of her orders might have been reassuring.

Satisfied with her preparations, she reloaded the trank pistol, sent a text message to the hive to be ready for the emergency surgery and then sat back, sipping her coffee and daydreaming about the days and nights to come. Especially the nights. She remembered how many times they'd made love the first night in Cabo. Chuck was insatiable and she'd been more than willing to let him take her as many times as possble. She'd been just as insatiable. She'd shown him some 'tricks of the trade' those wonderful nights in Cabo.

* * *

Northern Malibu Beach

Chuck sat with his knees drawn up, resting his chin on them. He was nervous as hell and it was all he could do to just sit there without getting up and walking around to burn off some of his nervous energy. He heard the whisper of Carina's voice telling him 'target in sight wearing jeans and a zippered jacket. No weapons visible but assume she's heavily armed. Get ready. She'll be at your side walking north on the beach. I love you, Chuck."

Casey looked at her and frowned. "I think we need to have a refresher in communications protocols while on missions, Agent Hansen."

"Screw you, John. It's allowed. You heard Beckman."

"Yeah, but it makes you sound like some love-sick teenager at a Twilight convention. Keep it professional while he's on the target grid."

* * *

Casey spoke softly into his mike, "All sand dollars, target approaching and will make physical contact in 3…2…1…Contact!" She was right on time.

"Hey, Chuck, it's me. I'm here, just like I said I'd be." She sounded like a little girl, uncertain and shy.

Chuck looked up and smiled his special Sarah smile and then struggled to his feet. His cell rang and as he reached for it she grabbed his hand and said "No. No communications. I have a boat just offshore and we'll be at a Fulcrum hive within an hour and take that damned heart-shocker out of you. You're just a few hours from total safety, Chuck. C'mon, sweetie, let's go."

John Casey smiled hearing her words. There was no boat offshore and that made him wonder what else she was imagining. She'd clearly burned out and _up._ Chuck had been right. She was sick, not a traitor. He spoke softly into his cuff mike, "Illuminate. Sand dollars on my count".

Huge spotlights suddenly lighted up the beach and a loudspeaker instructed 'Agent Walker' not to resist and she would not be harmed.

"Chuck, how could you betray me?" Her voice was broken and the look on her face tore at his heart but he knew the plan depended on the next 10 seconds.

"Sarah! Run. It's a trap. Run!" He stood up to grab her outstretched hand but then clutched his chest and grunted in pain, dropping to his knees, both hands tearing at his t-shirt trying to rip his chest open and stop the burning pain. "Arrrrgggggg'. He collapsed and then his body convulsed and was still.

"Chuck, no!" She dropped to her knees, pulled a flare pistol from inside her jacket and fired a red star flare out over the ocean to alert her teams to the ambush. Throwing the pistol aside, she rolled Chuck over on his back and pulled him into her lap. His eyes were open and fixed, staring at some unseen horror. He was dead. The kill switch _had_ worked.

Casey spoke again into his mike. "San Dollars, execute. Trank her and get her in restraints and into the ambulance for transport. Defib team, move it. Every second counts." Five men sat up from tarp-covered holes carefully camouflaged in the beach and in a well-orchestrated ballet, tranked and bound Walker and quickly carried her to a waiting ambulance.

Carina was first to reach Chuck and she copied Walker, pulling Chuck up onto her lap and into her arms. "Hang on, Chuck. They're coming, baby. Please hang on."

Rough hands jerked Chuck from her embrace and put him on a backboard and tore open his t-shirt and began prepping him to restart his heart. A cardiac needle shot epinephrine into his heart and another tech quickly intubated him and began 'bagging' him.

"Clear." They zapped him and the tech confirmed a strong rhythm. He was back. "He'll need to be observed for 24-hours or so but I can't think of much that could happen. The implant was a one-time thing. It'll dissolve over time.

* * *

Carina and Casey accompanied their asset to the NSA Facility in the ambulance.

Sarah Walker was kept heavily sedated and was taken by air to a medium security psychiatric clinic maintained by the NSA on the grounds of FT Meade for treatment and ultimately, re-assimilation into the 'real world'.

She would be told that an over-zealous analyst monitoring his activities determined that he was 'changing sides' to be with his Fulcrum girlfriend and activated the 'termination protocols'. Charles Bartowski had suffered a massive coronary and despite the heroic efforts of 'first responders' to revive him, was pronounced dead at the scene. It was later determined that he had no knowledge of the trap and had every intention of leaving with her. He'd trusted her to the very end.

* * *

APR


	18. Engaged, Enraged & Brain Washed

CarinaChuck17

_**The two most powerful warriors are Time and Patience.**_ – Leo Tolstoy

* * *

Horseshoe Beach, FL  
6 Months After the Events on the Beach

Chuck was sitting on the front deck of the Hansen's beach house enjoying the morning sun. He and Caroline had three weeks of leave after running a series of successful team ops against Fulcrum, locating and mapping hives and intel nodes. Beckman gave Team Intersect leave as a 'reward'. Casey went someplace to 'recharge his batteries'. Neither of them wanted to spend it any place other than here. Her folks were tickled that they could spend time with their daughter and Chuck was glad to see her dad again. He always had the most interesting comments on things.

Caroline and Irene went into Gainesville to do some serious shopping and Bill was fooling around with his boat, 'The Busted Flush', and so Chuck was just sitting on the deck in the early fall sun feeling no pain. Since the episode with Walker on the beach he'd started drinking more than usual, switching from beer to whiskey. What was concerning Caroline were his long periods of quiet introspection that the whiskey seemed to prompt. She knew he felt guilty for duping his former handler and it didn't matter pointing out that he'd saved Walker's life by doing it. Chuck's thoughts were more specific and offered closure of sorts.

'_If only we'd talked instead of making assumptions about what the other wanted. If only I'd seen the signs, the indecisiveness, the loss of focus, the more-than-usual paranoid comments… Well, what's done is done. I have Caroline, the most incredible woman in the world, and everyday I thank the Bumbling Architect that somehow she loves __me_.'

His cell vibrated in his pocket and he sighed, put down the whiskey and water he'd been nursing and looked at the display – Beckman! She never called with good news.

"Bartowski, secure but really not wanting to have this conversation since we're on vacation." He didn't care if others thought he was being flippant, he was always painfully honest with the General and he knew she understood that it was a mark of his respect for her.

"Beckman, working her butt off keeping the world safe for democracy. I've called with some good news, Mr. Bartowski. Your application for training as an NSA agent has been approved. It's not the standard program. It's been rigorously compressed and edited to only include those functions you haven't already become familiar with. Major Casey will be shepherding you through the program once you get back to California. Agent Hansen will assist in physical training and will be the evaluator of your progress with Major Casey providing final approval before allowing you to advance to more rigorous levels of training elsewhere."

"That's good news, General. It's important that the intersect be secured and if it's in the mind of a trained agent, all the better." He could kiss ass with the best of them when he really put his mind to it.

"We've completed work on the modified intersect physical skills database and I want you to take a small download as a test. Can you break away from your vacation for two days? You can return to Florida after the testing and evaluation period and take the full 3 weeks. Carina should accompany you, of course."

"When?" It must be something if Beckman _asked_ if he would take a test download. Normally she'd just say 'Mr. Bartowski, you will do this.'

"Fly in on Sunday and you'll be back in sunny Florida by Wednesday afternoon and I'll allot another 3 days of non-chargeable leave as 'compensation'."

"Fine, General. We'll see you then."

* * *

She hung up without any goodbyes. It was not her style. She glanced across her desk at the developer of the modified physical skills database and grimaced. If the definition of the word 'Nerd' featured Bartowski's picture as an example, Morris' picture would appear multiple times under headings such as 'Mad Genius', 'Decomposing Geek' and 'Couch Potato Extraordinaire'.

He was sloppy fat, dressed in clothes that hadn't seen a drycleaner's press since they were purchased, had long unkempt hair but he was even scarier smart than Charles Bartowski. His only saving graces were his intelligence and the fact that he didn't have a single mean bone in his body and seemed immune to her threats and barbs and glares. She'd known him since he was 2 minutes old and she'd always had a soft spot for her godson.

"He'll be here Sunday night, Mr. Morris. I suggest you have everything in readiness because I don't want him wasting a single moment of his time. You'll go to dinner with them, of course. And please, try to find something to wear that won't look…like something you'd wear."

"He's a spy. You think he gives a darn what I wear or look like? He'll only be interested in the results of the download. He'll dismiss me as 'a big necessary pain in the big sloppy butt' and move on, just like all the other James Bond wannabees."

"Bartowski will definitely be a surprise for you then. He's…the…well, wait until you meet him. But I have to warn you, do not trifle with his handler. She will hurt you if she even _thinks_ you're making fun of Bartowski."

"Another femme Nikita killer, I suppose. Oh, well, it seems to be the fashion around here. I'll be on my best behavior and wear something…fresh, just to keep peace in the family."

"Be gone, Jacob. And I asked you to keep 'family' out of this operation. You could be back at Radio Shack in a heartbeat if you break your promise."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

They discussed the trip at dinner. They had absolutely no secrets from her parents. It was one of the things Chuck found so nice about visiting them. No roles, no covers, just family. Her folks had even wanted Devon and Ellie to come over the Xmas holidays and Chuck promised to discuss it with his sister and her fiancé. Coming down to the Hansen's was just like coming home to Chuck.

Later that night, when they were snuggling and talking about their day, she mentioned that her mother asked her where they were going with their relationship. The red flare burst just below the ceiling and his subconscious was shrieking 'Danger, Bartowski, Danger!'

"Where do you want it to go, Caroline? I love you and you love me. What more could we ask for? You made the terms and conditions, Caroline, when you refused my ring."

"I know. But you asked me about my day and I told you. I'm happier than I've ever been, Chuck, and it's all because of you and a job I can be proud of. Mostly you, though. Yeah, mostly."

"Caroline, do you want to renegotiate our deal?"

He would marry her in a heartbeat. He'd tried to give her an engagement ring but she balked at even getting engaged. She was the one who was dragging her feet and he was the idiot who carried the little blue box around in his shaving kit hoping for another chance.

They'd finally made an agreement that she'd marry him when the intersect was out of his head _**if **_they still felt the same way about one another. That had sent him into a funk for a few days. The '_**if**_' clause that she used implied transient feelings, not the permanent, forever kind he felt for her. She was a spy, after all, and schooled in emotional control and exploitation.

"No. The deal stands. If we're still together when the intersect is out of your head and if we still feel the same way about one another, we'll talk about it, just like we agreed."

She was afraid. He didn't know her. If he really knew all about Carina Hansen he wouldn't even be here with her now. In the back of her mind she lived in terror that he'd have a reason to flash on her files and find out all the disgusting things 'Handcuffs Hansen' had done while a DEA agent. Not all of them were required by the job. And then there had been the on-again-off-again affair with John Casey. It had been over since before she'd begun dating him in Burbank but she had no idea how Chuck would react.

"Listen, I can't sleep. I think I'm going to go for a run. Too much dinner and too much booze. I'll try not to wake you when I come in." He kissed her on the cheek and went to change into his running clothes.

"Chuck, we agreed. Don't run away from this. Don't run away from _me_."

"Don't be such a damned drama queen, Carina. I'm going for a run, not leaving you. It helps me think and put things in perspective."

"What things in perspective? I'm sorry I mentioned it. She nags me every time we talk. 'When are you and Chuck going to move forward?' I try to explain about the job but she's got a whole different set of values and traditions, Chuck, and I don't know how to respond."

"Tell her about the intersect and how you're afraid I'll flash on your history and leave you in disgust, Carina 'Handcuffs' Hansen. Tell her the truth. Tell her you're feelings are 'iffy'. She'll understand you. She was a spy, too."

"Damn you, Chuck. You promised you wouldn't look at my files in the intersect. You broke your promise to me!"

"Nope. I haven't flashed on you since we've been dating. I didn't flash on you in the elevator in Walker's building. I flashed on you when Sarah and I helped you out with that hairy dude Alahi to recover the big-assed diamond in Malibu months before. I've known all this time and you know what? It doesn't matter to me. I love you. I'll be back. I'll never leave you. I don't break promises. Spies do."

She was awake when he got back. He slipped into the room and stripped off his sweat-soaked clothes and then got into the shower. A few seconds later so did she.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I've been afraid all this time that when you found out what a slut I'd been for the DEA that you wouldn't want anything to do with me. I'm sorry. All this time I've been terrified of you finding out something you already knew."

"You have a really low opinion of me, Carina, if you think I give a shit what you did and with whom before we met. It never mattered. We met and fell for each other just like normal people do. How could you ever doubt my feelings?"

"I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. I'm sorry. I should have known that you wouldn't leave me. You're not that kind of man. I'm so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you, honey? Anything. I'll take out an ad in the newspaper. I'll send Beckman an email. Anything."

"Wash my back?" All he really wanted her to do was to shut up about it and turn it down a bit. Her 'drama queen' moments were annoying. He'd have to avoid this topic in the future. Maybe Bill could ask his wife to lay off the 'where are you going' questions. The answer was apparently 'no where', unless…

* * *

Chuck walked down the back stairs into the kitchen a little before 7am, poured himself a cup of coffee and walked out onto the screened and covered back deck to enjoy the early morning. Bill and Irene were sitting at the café table drinking their own nasty brew. Apparently, Russian tea held a stronger appeal early in the morning than did coffee. He'd noticed the Samovar within minutes of being in the kitchen for the first time. It was large and tended to dominate the room.

"Morning, Chuck. Where's my baby girl this morning?" He'd figured they'd had a fight since he heard Chuck leave at 1am and go for a run until almost 4am. The boy knew how to handle his daughter better than he did. Give her space and then come back and apologize for doing whatever it was that pissed her off.

"She's still asleep. I figure we'll see her around 9 or so. She's definitely not a morning person. I'll take her up a cup of coffee about 8:45 so we can get packed for the flight."

They were enjoying a comfortable and companionable silence when a scream split the peaceful morning followed by the sound of someone running down the stairs. When Bill and Irene saw Chuck's calm expression they looked at each other and smiled. Whatever he'd done, it would be interesting.

They could see Caroline run through the living room out to the front deck, look around and then, seeing them sitting on the covered deck, make a bee-line for Chuck, a strange look on her face.

She stood in front of him, teary eyed and still wearing his t-shirt and boxers, her sun-lightened auburn hair still in it's ponytail. He'd never seen a more beautiful sight.

She held her fisted left hand against her chest and whispered, "Yes, Chuck. No ifs. Yes."

He smiled and patted his lap and she sat on it and snagged his coffee cup with her left hand, waving it around while she greeted her parents. Her mother was the first to notice and her smile made Chuck's day. Her father was clueless and her mother just continued smiling.

"I think I'll go up and start packing. The chopper will be here shortly for the flight to Eglin. Caroline, eat something, sweetheart, and tell your folks your news. I'll see you upstairs in a bit." He kissed her chastely but she deepened the kiss to the point where her mother laughed and her father repeatedly cleared his throat.

When he finished packing and had dressed for the flight and carried their suitcases down to the car, Irene hugged him and whispered something in his ear that made him blush and her father simply shook his hand and sighed. His baby girl…

* * *

The same two agents that had escorted them the last trip met them at Eglin. Again, the agents sat in the very front of the Tri-Star to give the couple privacy.

"Honey, you know my mom's going to start nagging me about 'when' now. I've told her we're working out the details. She wants us to get married in Florida, in Cross City. Supposedly 'where' is the bride's prerogative. Do you mind Florida?" She was admiring her engagement ring and how right it looked on her. She squinted trying to imagine a wedding band complementing it.

"Don't care where we get married, Caroline, as long as it's legal and binding and I don't get any surprises for wedding presents."

"Surprises? What do you mean?"

"I'm sure you'll find something, Carina, it's in your blood. You're descended from people who are masters at surprises."

She didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything at all. Sometimes her boyfriend, no, scratch that, her _fiancé_, drove her nuts. She sighed, and then laughed. A lifetime of happiness was spread out before her and she couldn't do anything other than laugh at the prospects.

FT Meade, MD  
NSA Headquarters

Jacob Morris was wearing a suit, tie and heavily starched shirt, all of which matched, and were clean and pressed. His only concession to his art was his shoes…tennis shoes. He'd gotten a haircut and shaved and looked…like the Poppin' Fresh Dough Boy going to church. He cursed the day he'd ever hacked into his mother's best friend's computer and got caught sniffing around the basic core of the NSA's intersect programs. Still, it beat Radio Shack to hell. The pay was great; no one seemed to care what he looked like or how he dressed, just that the code flowed nonstop from his fingers. And now he had to make nice with James fucking Bond and his latest Bond girl.

Diane Beckman was impressed. He'd cleaned up nicely and appeared to be ready to play the game with Team Intersect. She ordered surveillance on all their conversations figuring that it would be instructive to watch.

Chuck and Carina entered the HQ building, went through the retina scans, surrendered their weapons, and were escorted to the reception area where Jacob Morris waited impatiently. Both were dressed in business suits and although Carina held his hand, there was no hint of unprofessionalism in the pair.

Chuck spotted Morris first and flashed. He started to smile then grin and finally laugh. Here was someone he could relate to and have a decent conversation with regarding the intersect.

"You must be Jacob Morris. I'm Chuck Bartowski and this is my handler and fiancé, Carina Hansen. Honey, this is the smartest man in America and probably one of the top 5 brains in the world and he's the designer of the new 'Modified Physical Skills Database' I'm going to download and test. Jake, it's a pleasure to meet you. I heard about your work here and I'd like to hear your thoughts on some problems with the initial version 1.0 intersect. Maybe we could have dinner or grab a Red Bull or twelve?"

Jacob's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. _This_ was the intersect guy? And he'd heard of him and wanted to drink Red Bulls together? Impossible. Must be some spy crap he was pulling.

Jacob decided to test this would-be nerd and started in on some simple items having to do with the construct of the logic and Chuck had interrupted with intelligent questions and comments, flooring him.

"Um, Agent Bartowski…"

"Jake, it's Chuck and I'm not an agent. She's the agent. I'm just the guy who got the download from Larkin."

Carina bored easily with all the tech talk and kissed Chuck soundly and went off in search of coffee and a sitrep on the physical download operation. She might be his fiancée, but she was also responsible for his security and she took her job seriously.

"You're engaged to _that_?" He didn't mean to sound disrespectful.

"Watch your mouth. That is a fine woman that I dated before she came to the NSA. She was DEA and we worked together once or twice and then started dating. And yeah, we're engaged."

"Oh, man. Tell me your secret. I mean, she looks like a Victoria's Secret model and she's…engaged to a nerd. It's a miracle."

"Yeah, sometimes I think it is. Anyhow, tell me about the database."

They spent the next five hours drinking coffee for Chuck and Red Bulls for Jacob ('not Jake, Chuck, Jacob') when Carina and another woman agent interrupted them.

"Chuck, feed me, baby. Jacob, this is Agent Annie Prince. She and I worked at the DEA together and now we're both with NSA. I asked her to join us for dinner since I wanted to catch up and you two nerds don't speak English. Feed me, Chuck. I haven't eaten since last night. I'm hungry, honey."

"Fine. Just cool it with the Nerd criticism. We Nerds rule the world and you beautiful people don't even realize you've been conquered."

Jacob looked at Annie Prince and blushed and then introduced himself. Maybe he could get lucky like Chuck did. Annie just smiled and thought of all the ways Carina was going to owe her for this.

* * *

They ate at a small Mexican restaurant off post that catered to the NSA and was totally secure. Jacob mentioned the intersect and Chuck glared at him and then bluntly told him to keep classified data 'classified'. Annie laughed and told them she was cleared for the 'shit in Bartowski's head' by the General herself and hoped to be a test subject for the database Jacob had developed.

Carina slipped off one of her shoes and ran her foot up Chuck's pant leg and played with his calf, distracting the hell out of him. He smiled and looked at her _thinking_ very hard that 'you are going to pay for that, Caroline' and she snickered and said "Yeah, Chuck, I'll bet I will. And I'm _so_ looking forward to it, sweetheart."

Annie looked at Carina and then Chuck and then Jacob. "Does he read minds or something? That was so weird. Jacob, does your program do that?"

"No, Annie, my program dumps physical abilities into his head and then he uses them if he can. It can't make him fly, for example, but it can make him a more efficient swimmer for a short time, usually 30 - 45 seconds or so if he already knows how to swim. Telepathy isn't on the menu. Besides, I think they're just in synch with each other. My folks are like that. It's kinda creepy."

That launched a whole new conversation that left Carina and Annie in the lurch and sent them off to the bar to drink and talk without disturbing the two geniuses. Annie was not embarrassed to tell Carina how she felt stupid around Chuck and the fat man and she'd rather talk Agent stuff than listen to their discussion regarding the efficiency of this algorithm over that one.

"Yeah, he is pretty damned smart but he says Jacob is way brighter so that means he's off the charts smart."

"Too bad he's such a geek."

"Nerd, Annie, Nerd. Don't call them geeks. It's insulting. Nerd is the term."

"Well, if it isn't 'Handcuffs' Hansen. What's the DEA's go-to girl doing up here with the intelligent folks?" Carina cringed and Annie looked on, not knowing what to do. This could get bad, fast.

"Hello, Joel. Last time I saw you, you were in Nuevo Laredo. You seem to have recovered from that nasty STD you picked up from that hooker."

* * *

Chuck had been keeping an eye on Carina at the bar. She had a tendency to drink too much when she was 'catching up' with her old friends. He saw her body language change into a 'fight or flight' mode when a man accosted her at the bar and he excused himself and went over to the bar. Jacob followed him, wondering why Chuck was suddenly so tense. "Hey, honey, Jacob's about ready to die from Red Bull withdrawal. Are you and Annie ready to go? We have an early session in the morning." He looked at her and his look said 'let's leave before there's trouble'.

"Sure. Annie and I are about done catching up and we'll just pick up in the morning while you and Jacob run your tests." She put her arm in his and turned when Joel Miller made the mistake of grabbing her arm and pulling her roughly back to her bar stool.

"'Handcuffs' and I were just catching up so why don't you and fat boy go play with your computers while we see about whose room we'll spend the night in, hers or mine. Run along now."

Chuck's 9mm sprung into his hand like it had a life of its own and he jammed it up under Miller's chin. "Touch her again and they'll be cleaning your brains off the ceiling tiles, asshole. Apologize to my fiancé and partner and then go away and don't ever say a word to her again. If I hear anything disrespectful while we're here, I'm sure I can arrange to find you. Now, apologize to Agent Hansen and make it loud and sincere and heartfelt or I'll kill you."

Miller's eyes were bulging out and he was practically on his tiptoes because Chuck was pressing the muzzle up under the chin of the much shorter man.

"Chuck, let him go. It's ancient history. He's not worth the paperwork, baby. He's not. Please, don't hurt him." She was really scared. He had that look in his eyes like he did that night in the alley.

"He's not worth it, Carina, but you are. Now, how about that apology, Agent?"

* * *

The four piled into Jacob's pool car and drove back to the post. Carina was holding Chuck's hand in a death grip in the backseat. Jacob and Annie were in the front seat and Annie turned around and looked at Chuck and laughed. "I think Miller's going to regret crossing the Nerds. His reputation just took a turn south. I'll make sure everyone at HQ knows how he screwed up and almost got his head blown off."

"I'd rather you didn't, Annie. It was a dumb thing to do. I'd have had to kill him if he hadn't sincerely apologized." Chuck was kidding but only Carina knew that – and she wasn't totally sure about it.

"Carina, where did you find this guy? Are there any more out there like him? Miller's been up for sexual harassment before. You ought to report him."

"He's unique. And I don't think Miller will come on quite so strong with any one else for a while. At least not until that cut under his chin heals and his friends quit ragging him about pissing his pants." The problem was that he'd interceded on her behalf giving the people in the bar the impression that she couldn't handle an ass like Miller herself. He'd stung her where she was most vulnerable: her professional pride.

Jacob just drove the car but his mind was a million miles away. He had a new hero and a new objective – become exactly like Chuck Bartowski. He'd start a diet and join a fitness club the next day after the tests. And he'd ask his mother for advice on his wardrobe. He needed to change his image.

* * *

APR


	19. Don't Pour 5 Gals into a 4 Gal Bucket

CarinaChuck18

Editor: We're going to be busy the entire weekend so I thought I'd give you peeps a little something. Did you get your souvenier yet?

Nik

* * *

NSA Tech Center  
FT Meade, MD

Chuck Bartowski was strapped into a chair that reminded him of a dentist's chair except that no dentist's chair he'd ever encountered came with 5-point restraints. The tech had put drops into his eyes to dilate his pupils 'to increase throughput' and he was impatiently waiting for Jacob to begin the download.

Carina Hansen sat slightly behind and to the side of Jacob Morris so that she could observe both the download sequences Jacob was initiating and her fiancé. If Chuck felt impatient, Carina felt both remorse for their argument the previous night and utter fear for his safety. General Beckman stood in the back of the room observing.

There was nothing she could do once Jacob announced over the microphone 'Here we go, Chuck. Relax and enjoy the light show. All personnel, put on your safety glasses and look away from the subject.' Carina put on the special dark glasses she'd been handed and listened to the chatter in the download control room.

He entered a command into the computer and then clicked the mouse a few times and the lights went out and then a series of stroboscopic flashes dominated the room Chuck was in. It lasted 28 minutes and when Jacob announced that the download was complete, Carina rushed into the room and began pelting Chuck with questions while unstrapping him from the chair.

"Chuck, are you alright? Are you in pain? Can you understand me? Chuck, damn it, say something!" She was nearly hysterical. He just sat there, blinking.

"I was right last night…" and he fell asleep.

"Jacob! He's unconscious! Get medical in here, right now!"

She heard General Beckman's voice over the speaker. "Agent Hansen, he's asleep. It's quite normal, I assure you. He'll sleep for an hour or so and then we'll evaluate the download. Carina, he's fine."

She held his hand for the 47 minutes he slept. He'd tried to tell her last night, warn her actually, about the download and it's aftermath. He'd slept for more than 10 hours after receiving the download via Bryce's email and he wanted her to be prepared. All she wanted to do was 'discuss' his reaction to Agent Miller at the bar.

* * *

Last Night  
VIP Suite  
NSA HQ

"Chuck, I was handling it. I was in control. You didn't have to go 'Dirty Harry' on him. Jesus, Beckman's going to have a cow!"

"He put his hands on you. He hurt you. I saw the fear in your eyes and I reacted like a partner should. I protected my partner."

"Chuck, you're not my partner, Casey is. You're my asset and my fiancé but you're not my partner. You made it look like I couldn't control the situation. You made me look weak and defenseless in front of Annie Prince, Chuck, and I was anything but defenseless."

"Fine, then I acted as your _fiancé_ would. I should have shot the bastard as a lesson to other agents who think with their dicks instead of their heads. Did you hear what he said to me?"

"It doesn't matter what he said. They were only words. What should matter is how Beckman reacts to your little display of macho temper."

Chuck knew they were on the brink of a horrendous fight and he had a download to mentally prepare for. He told her as much and kissed her on the cheek and showered and went to sleep.

In the morning, an emotional frost coated the entire room. Neither of them said a word and Chuck just handed her the keys to the pool car and walked out. He didn't say anything when they arrived at the Tech Center either, just walked away from her and entered the download room. She was so stubborn sometimes.

* * *

Present time

Carina watched his face for any sign that he was waking up. Beckman had mentioned that Chuck had established quite the reputation for his team with his 'take down' of the obnoxious agent the night before. She'd had reports of Miller's unsolicited advances and now she had taped proof of his behavior. His days as an agent were numbered. Beckman had actually smiled and said 'that is if he doesn't resign from the embarrassment of losing bladder control.'

Beckman's endorsement of Chuck's behavior didn't change how Carina felt. He'd caused her to lose face. Her pride had taken a hit and she didn't like it one bit. Chuck had appeared beside her because he'd known she was in trouble, because he'd sensed a change in her stance and demeanor. Had she slipped so far from being the agent she always thought she'd been to something less? If he could see it, could others?

Chuck woke and told her 'Move, I have to get to the head' and pushed himself out of the chair and walked briskly to the men's room. She followed him out into the hallway and stopped. He was in the men's room. Damn it, she needed to know he was OK.

"Wow, Carina, did you see that? That was freaking awesome. You must be so proud of him. And last night… No man ever stood up for me like he did for you last night. Doesn't matter a bit that you could have kicked Miller's ass, he still stepped up for you. Anyone can see the love and respect he has for you. What's the secret to catching a Chuck Bartowski?"

"It wasn't a problem catching him, Annie. It's going to be a problem keeping him."

"Trouble in paradise? You better fix it, Carina, and fast. Let me guess. You gave him a hard time last night about how he handled Miller and how he should have trusted you to handle it, right?"

She just looked at her shoes and nodded. Damn pride.

"Damn, girlfriend, you are so…so damned dense. A man like him doesn't think past 'this is the right thing to do'. He doesn't worry about personal consequences he just does the right thing. You need to get 'in synch' with his personal program or you'll be missing one engagement ring and one hell of a man in your life."

Still looking at her shoes, she nodded. A tear fell down one cheek and she angrily brushed it away. "Yean, I know. I forgot I wasn't dealing with a career agent. I forgot he was a civilian and I forgot who he is. Thanks for the kick in the pants, Annie. I'll take it from here."

She squared her shoulders and pushed open the men's room door and went to find her fiancé. The damned intersect host could wait for a few minutes. She needed to talk to her man. She needed to apologize and that was something she rarely did.

"Chuck Bartowski, where are you?"

"Hansen, this is not Ally McBeal. This is not a unisex bathroom. Wait for me in the…" Another spate of vomiting interrupted his sarcastic response.

"Is this normal, Chuck? Vomiting?"

"No…it's…" Whatever he was going to say was lost in another attempt to turn himself inside out. She left to find a medical tech.

An hour and a Compazine injection later, he felt human again and began the testing of the 'Modified Physical Skills Database'. He asked Jacob what elements had been downloaded.

"Chuck, we went over that this morning. Running, upper body strength, hand and eye coordination and some very basic kung fu movements. The last was thrown in just as a test of a new skill efficacy as opposed to enhanced measures we already have the baseline for."

"Oh, yeah. Right. How do I trigger it again?"

Jacob's eyes narrowed and he began having a nagging suspicion about something.

"Chuck, the guy you terrorized last night, what was his name?"

"Um, M – M – M-something, why?"

"What did you have for breakfast? What is Carina wearing?"

"I – I – oh, shit. I don't remember eating breakfast and Agent Hansen's wearing a…I don't know."

"Who else was at dinner last night, Chuck?"

"Dinner?"

"Short term memory loss. It means the segment of the brain we targeted with the download wiped out his short-term memory. We'll have to rethink this after consulting Neuro. Damn, I wish we had copies of the original program instead of just a compiled database with those damned safeguards."

"How much has he lost? And will he get it back?" Carina saw a silver lining in this accident.

"Twelve hours, Agent Hansen, maybe more. And we don't have any way of assessing long term loss without some baseline questions."

"I can handle that. Let's move this to a conference room where it's less…intimidating and I'll ask him a series of questions from the past 3 months to do an assessment. Will that work, Jacob?"

"Yeah. Listen, I feel terrible about this. I'll run this past the doctors in Neurology. The damned project is on hold until I can be certain I'm not wiping his mind. That would be…catastrophic."

* * *

The meeting with Beckman was brief. Carina reported on the results of her personal questions covering the past 3 months. There were no lapses that she could determine. He even remembered little things like which door they'd entered on which hive. It was only the time since their arrival at FT Meade that had been lost. He even remembered the drive onto the post but everything after that was lost.

She ran several photographs past him to determine also if there was any damage done to his ability to flash and he passed with flying colors.

"Mr. Morris, get with Neurology and see what you can do to properly target the brain in future downloads. You have the rest of today and tomorrow to resolve this or the project goes inactive."

"Agent Hansen, you and Mr. Bartowski are free until tomorrow morning. Maybe after a good night's sleep he'll remember things. We'll meet here again tomorrow afternoon for a recap and for an update on the project."

* * *

It all came rushing back to him when they left the center and walked out into the bright sunlight. He cringed in the blinding light and staggered and clutched on to Carina, almost pulling her down with him as he passed out.

The guard at the door signaled a medical emergency and EMTs and the download team soon surrounded them. Chuck was taken to the medical bay where doctors quickly checked him out and then used smelling salts to bring him around.

He struggled to escape the hands holding him down and then panicked. He attacked the medical and security staff using hand-to-hand tactics that rendered the defenseless doctors and surprised guards either unconscious or moaning in pain on their backs or stomachs.

"Chuck! Stop, please! It's OK. You're safe. They're not the enemy." There was a vacant look in his eyes and he suddenly shook himself and calmed down immediately.

"Oh, shit. I'm in trouble now." Carina ran to him and hugged him, holding his arms to his sides afraid of and for him.

"Chuck, it's OK. Tell me what you remember from last night. Tell me what you remember after signing in at the main gate."

He looked at her like she'd grown another head. "What the hell are you talking about? I almost killed these people. Where's Jacob? What the hell did he download into me?"

General Beckman had been watching from the relative safety of the ER double doors. She smiled and slapped her godson on the back. "It worked, Mr. Morris. Congratulations. Now, figure out why this happened and report back to me."

She walked back to her office, relieved that Bartowski had regained his memory and thrilled that he'd taken out 4 security guards and 3 physicians in less than a minute. It worked far better than planned or imagined. He seemed to instinctively evaluate the threats. He took out the security guards first and the physicians last. He totally ignored the ones standing by watching. Now if they could only control it…

* * *

Chuck and Carina left the center again to return to their room and rest and then plan how to use their free time. He hadn't said much on the drive over, only responding dully to her questions. For once she didn't press him, figuring correctly that he was exhausted from the morning's activities.

"Maybe you'll feel more like yourself after a nap, honey. I think we could both use a nap."

"Works for me. Wake me up in time to shower and dress for dinner. Decide where you want to go. I'd call Jacob and invite him but right now all I want to do is strangle his fat ass." He got into bed and was asleep without another word to her about anything.

She woke him sometime later with kisses and caresses and the warm liquid of her tears on his face. "I'm so sorry. I was wrong to criticize you for getting involved in the bar. I forgot that you do things because they're the right things to do. I'm so sorry, Chuck. Please don't be mad any more. I hate it when we fight. Please just love me like you did before we came to this damned place. Please?"

They ended up ordering a pizza. They were too tired to get dressed. They still had a lot to learn about one another. And the morrow would bring its own set of challenges.

APR


	20. She Dreams of Things That Never Happened

CarinaChuck19

* * *

NSA Tech Center  
FT Meade, MD

Annie Prince was sitting across the conference room table from Jacob Morris, eating a bagel and sipping coffee. Jacob, true to his new resolution to become exactly like Chuck Bartowski, was wearing business attire and sipping bottled water. He'd eaten an orange for breakfast and hunger pangs were already taking a toll on his ability to concentrate.

"I'm sorry, Agent Prince, what did you say?" His eyes never left the bagel as she nibbled on it, licking off tiny bits of crème cheese with the tip of her tongue. He'd never envied food before.

"I said I hope you've figured out what's wrong, Jacob, because I really want to be a candidate for the download."

"Yeah, I think I've figured it out. When Chuck hit the bright sunlight it 'activated' the downloaded traits that were masking his memories. Neuro's working on the 'why'. I just hope he's 'normal' this morning. Beckman will kill me if I've damaged her intersect."

"If Carina had any sense at all, he's right as rain this morning. She got her pride hurt the other night and she took it out on him instead of just understanding how he works. Shame, too. I'd kill to have someone caring and adoring in my life. Spy life isn't all they say it is, Jacob. It's lonely and boring most of the time."

"That's hard to believe, Agent Prince. I can't imagine you being lonely or bored for long."

"Annie, Jacob. Annie. And that's sweet of you to say so. I don't hang out in bars and not having a permanent assignment yet means a lot of sitting around waiting to be needed. At least in the DEA there were long-term undercover assignments."

Chuck and Carina entered the conference room hand in hand and Annie gave Carina a knowing smile that she returned with a lecherous grin. Things were back to normal for the couple and now all they had to do was retest the download properties and they could fly back to Florida and sanity.

Jacob asked how Chuck was feeling. He felt guilty that his creation had almost injured a man he felt could be a true friend given enough time.

"I'm feeling good, Jacob. No lingering after effects that I can discern. How are we going to test the downloaded trait enhancements?"

"Well, I see you brought some sweats as we'd discussed. We're off to the gym. Hope you don't mind running. And then there's some sparring with the training staff and then a quick recalibration of my base lines and you're free once General Beckman gives her OK."

"Fine. Let's get to it. Running, OK. Sparring? You do know I haven't even had the basics of hand to hand, don't you?"

"Yep and that should make this all the more interesting." He smiled shyly. He had a feeling Chuck would integrate the traits without any problems.

* * *

NSA Training Center  
Gymnasium

The gym was empty except for those personnel authorized for the testing. Chuck's first task was to run a lap and then run a quick middle-distance race of 3 laps with several of the trainers. Competition would trigger the downloaded enhancement – at least that was the theory. The General had issued a few 'motivational instructions' to his trainers.

Annie, Carina and Jacob sat on the bleachers and watched as Chuck ran a lap around the 2nd level track. It was a banked track and was above the bleachers. After he finished his lap he and Jacob ran some measurements and then Jacob 'wired' Chuck up with telemetry to measure his breathing and heart rate and automatically monitor and record the database utility.

Three other men in their late 20s joined him on the track. A senior trainer started the race and the 4 runners surged around the track, with Chuck falling back slowly as the trainers set a rapid pace. He was running beside the 3rd trainer who reached over and shoved Chuck to one side. Chuck stumbled and then almost sprinted past the trainer, glaring at him as he passed him.

Chuck stayed in the 3rd spot wondering if the shove was an accident or part of the scenario. Jacob was practically bouncing up and down as the readings showed that the download was increasing his endurance and speed. Carina just smiled at Jacob's enthusiasm. In some ways he reminded her of Chuck.

The lead runner looked at the 2nd runner who nodded and then slowed down, blocking Chuck from passing him by constantly moving in front of him. Chuck settled down to a matching pace and slowly drifted to the high side of the track with the other runner moving to keep him from passing. Suddenly Chuck sped up and moved toward the inside of the track and was passing the other runner on the inside when he shoved Chuck violently to the side, almost causing him to go over the wire mesh guardrail. Carina gasped as Chuck hung on to keep from falling to the gym floor below.

Chuck would never be certain exactly what happened except that he sprinted up behind and then beside the other runner and hit him in the face with the back of his hand, knocking him down. He ran up beside the lead runner and did the same thing and then sprinted an entire lap to the finish line.

Breathing heavily, he walked down the stairs from the track and over to where Jacob's laptop was set up. Carina ran over to him and handed him a bottle of water and a towel. She asked him if he was OK and what did he think happened? Why the pushing and shoving match?

"I don't know why they were shoving and I really don't know why I hit them but damn it, I won and that's the whole point, isn't it?" He felt different and wasn't sure he liked how he felt. But he knew one thing, he'd won and that was all that was important. Winning.

Jacob caught his attention and pointed to the line graph display on the laptop. "See, here's where you were shoved the first time and here's the second time and here's where you eliminated the competition. Each time there was a corresponding increase in heart rate, oxygen saturation levels and brain activity. It worked, Chuck. It really worked."

"Chuck, you ran a half-mile in 3 minutes flat. That's twice as fast as you ran the single lap. The augmentation worked."

"Great and I don't feel as tired as I expected I'd be. Jacob, this is cutting-edge work you're doing. This is an incredible breakthrough. I wonder if you could 'teach' an injured person to walk again through the download and enhance their physical therapy? It's just a thought."

Jacob filed that away for later. He had the final testing phase to run and it was the one he was most unsure of – the sparring. If it didn't work, Chuck might be seriously injured because Beckman had ordered that it be as realistic as possible as a test of the enhancement database.

The same three trainers were his sparring partners. All four donned headgear, lightly padded gloves, groin protectors and mouthpieces and met in the center of the mats. Chuck dropped into a defensive stance that he'd seen Sarah adopt when she was fighting someone whose skills she didn't know about. Chuck did it because she'd done it. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd do next.

The trainer attacked with spin kicks and a flurry of punches and somehow Chuck blocked the majority of them and stepped back to disengage. He walked to the center of the mats and assumed 'the Walker stance' and waited.

His opponent grinned and then attacked in much the same way only this time Chuck blocked the first flurry of kicks and then the tingling started and somehow he put his opponent down flat on his back. Chuck was straddling him, fingers extended, preparing to slam him in the throat, a sure killing blow, when he was grabbed from behind and thrown to the mat.

He bounced up and attacked his assailant noting that the 3rd trainer was dragging the other unconscious man off the mats. Three EMTs were waiting beside Jacob and the agents. Chuck assumed the 'Walker stance' again feeling an ache in his left hand. Two of his fingers were pointing upwards at a right angle to his palm. He almost threw up right then.

He stepped back and looked at his hand. His stomach threatened to disgorge its breakfast and make him look like a pussy. The tingling was back, all over his body but mostly in his neck. He reached down and snapped the two dislocated fingers back into place and ran up to the remaining trainer, putting him down and out with a flurry of punches.

His hand finally told his brain "Stop this shit!" and he dropped to his knees, cradling his throbbing hand. Carina was beside him in an instant as were the EMTs. She held his injured hand like it was made of egg shells and smiled at him whispering "Oh, lover, this is _so_ going to cramp your style tonight. I guess I'll have to do all the work." She could see that the glazed look in his eyes was slowly fading as he became her Chuck once again.

"SON OF A BITCH THAT HURTS!" Yep. He was back to being her Chuck again. Thank God.

* * *

Beckman congratulated Jacob Morris again. "Well done, Jacob. Write up the report and then let's get to work on some serious enhancements. I have some suggestions. Drop by my office after you take those two to the airfield for their trip home. Wonderful work. Just wonderful."

Annie smiled at the pleased look on his face. Beckman was full of surprises, the most recent being a surprising skill at managing Nerds. She looked at Jacob and smiled. Maybe she could convince him to run with her in the mornings. If he just lost some weight…

* * *

NSA Psychiatric Facility  
FT Meade, MD

In another part of the post another kind of drama was unfolding. For the first time, Sarah Walker, now known by her real name, Samantha Reynolds, was talking about her marks, lovers and the enigmatic 'Chuck' she's cried about for over 6 months. This was great progress and her psychotherapist was very pleased and complimented Samantha on her progress.

"Ms. Reynolds, this is a tremendous breakthrough. You've been able to talk freely about your failed relationships with Larkin and Brangowski…"

"Bartowski, not Brangowski. Bartowski. Chuck Bartowski. The only man to ever hold my heart and he's dead, killed by this very Agency. Ironic, isn't it? He died on that beach because he trusted me, believed in my promises, a victim of my psychosis. He saved me. And I killed him."

"You weren't responsible for his death, Sam, not at all. You are, however, very much responsible for the progress you've made. I'm sure you're wondering how long you'll be 'incarcerated' here, and as I've told you time and time again, this is not a prison, it's a treatment facility. When you're well, the Agency has a place for you. You're not being thrown on the trash pile, Sam. You're a valuable person and the NSA doesn't throw people away."

The therapist was at odds with her supervisor who absolutely forbid telling the patient that Brangowski was alive and well. The supervisor didn't tell her it was for security reasons, simply telling her 'no'. The therapist felt this information would provide motivation for Reynolds and her recovery could only be hastened by telling her that the man she loved so desperately was still alive. She'd wait and use her professional judgment to decide if and when she should be told. After all, Reynolds _was __her_ patient. And she was a bit of a romantic herself.

* * *

Annie Prince was summoned to General Beckman's office and after a 30-minute discussion a slightly pleased but mostly uncertain agent left the office to pack for an extended operation on the west coast. She'd been temporarily attached to Team Intersect. Her assignment was to evaluate the current status of the team as well as recommend a series of enhancements to be added to Morris' database project after observing the team in action. The duration of the assignment was a maximum of 60 days. She was to report to Major Casey who was designing the compressed training cycle for Bartowski and offer any assistance.

She looked forward to the professional aspects of the assignment but felt a sense of regret at leaving Jacob 'without a friend'. She'd have to postpone the running gambit until she returned. She'd heard all about Major Casey from Carina. She wondered whether Chuck knew about their on-again off-again romance? She mentally shrugged her shoulders. It was none of her business. She had her own problems in life.

* * *

Jacob drove Carina and Chuck to the airfield where he handed Chuck a list of questions he wanted answered regarding the database and how he 'felt' when he utilized it.

"I figured you didn't want to hang around here any longer than necessary since you're on vacation. Just email me back the question and answer when you have the time and inclination. And feel free to offer any suggestions, Chuck. I like the possibilities of using the download to help in physical therapy. That suggestion opened up a lot of possibilities in my mind."

Jacob felt a sudden pang of loneliness when the business jet took off. He and Chuck were becoming friends and he was back out in the field and his only other friend was on her way to the west coast. He was surprised to realize that he had 3 friends and that he missed them. That was a totally new experience for him. Maybe he was growing up.

He nibbled on a rice cake on the way back to his apartment. He'd started a light exercise program that very morning and was due for his mile walk before lunch. 'Lunch' was a joke. An apple, a salad and a bottle of water. He sighed but then remembered his promise to himself. The next time he saw Chuck, he wanted him to really see him, not the fat boy Agent Miller had mocked.

* * *

Sarah Walker, now Samantha Reynolds, ran around the track that Chuck had used the previous day. Running was part of her therapy. She pushed and pushed herself, longing for the runner's high and also for the exhaustion that allowed her to sleep most of the remaining day away.

Her therapist was a good person but misguided and stupid. This place was a prison. And like the good spy that she was, she planned on escaping at her earliest opportunity. She had a moral obligation to Chuck Bartowski to avenge his death. She'd start in Burbank and work her way back to FT Meade. She had sworn a blood oath to him in those brief seconds on the beach before the drugs took him away from her.

She was haunted by the look of horror on his face as he fought to live and lost. Her dreams were something she hid from her therapist. When asked, she told her she dreamed of the life she should have had with Chuck.

She didn't tell her of her dreams where she burned Casey alive with a blowtorch or slowly lowered that DEA slut Hansen into a pit of boiling oil. Sometimes she killed Devon and Ellie for not helping her save Chuck but most times it was Casey and Hansen and…Beckman that she tortured and killed. She used her knives in most of her dreams. Those dreams were satisfying and sustaining.

The most satisfying dreams were based on her memories of her and Chuck in her hotel room making love and being together. She woke from those dreams with her fingers moist from bringing herself to orgasm. Those were her fondest memories, waking up with Chuck wrapped around her covering her with kisses and caresses and whispering of his devotion and undying love for her and how someday they'd be together always, not just weekends and stolen moments when Casey's back was turned.

She never dreamed of Larkin.

* * *

APR


	21. Old Truths and New Delusions Uncovered

CarinaChuck20

* * *

Editor's note: Back in Savannah then we're going back to Erie. i got a second interview and J's not looking forward to living in PA but hey, I'm the breadwinner...lol OK, so he's got his own loot and can write from anywhere, I just want a damned job. Nik

Oh, this chapter takes place after returning from Baltimore. I kinda edited out a few paragraphs. My bad.

* * *

Hansen Residence  
Horseshoe Beach, FL

"You've made my girls very happy, Chuck. Now, Irene's going to be on Caroline like stink on fresh baby poo to set a date. I've told her to back off but she's Russian and they're the most stubborn people on the planet and their women are worse than the men. So just tell Caroline that you're missions are too unpredictable right now and she'll pass that on to her mother the spy and that'll buy you some time and peace of mind."

"Well, whenever we tie the knot, we'd like to do it here in Horseshoe Beach. There's only my sister and her fiancé on my side but I want Caroline to have the little-girl wedding her mother wants her to have. We've got the money and I'm sure we can work out the details. As for the honeymoon…I was thinking of Belize…" He said the last with a smile.

Bill picked up on it immediately. "I'll have everything ready for you two. You can use this as an excuse to recon the place, decide what 'amenities' you'll want and…well, you get the idea."

The two men shook hands and went inside the house to escape the mosquitoes and to pretend to listen attentively to the wedding plans from hell.

* * *

Casey called with his daily check-in and verification that Carina had not sold Chuck to Fulcrum and departed for parts unknown and to report the arrival of an 'observer' from NSA HQ.

"Bartowski, I don't know what you did but we now have an 'observer' to make nice with and to molly-coddle. She's an NSA agent named Annie Prince and says she knows Carina and you. Verify."

"True. We met her during the skills download. She's OK. She and Carina go way back. Probably knows about your history together so tread lightly, Major. She's Carina's _really _good friend. Oh, by the way, I got engaged. Will you do the best man honors, John?"

"Engaged? To Hansen? Are you sure, Chuck? All kidding aside, I told you you'd need a thick skin. I know how you feel about her but 'marriage'? Beckman's going to have one each bovine rectally. Have you discussed this with the General?" _How much of their 'history' together did he know?_

"Have her blessing believe it or not. So, best man?"

He heard the sigh. "Casey, it's OK. Never mind. We will head back tomorrow. I'll check in from Eglin. See ya." He hung up and sat back looking out at the Gulf. Caroline never mentioned a 'thing' with Casey. Well, he'd have to bring it up. It needed to be addressed. If she still had feelings for him then he needed to know. Another one of her damned secrets.

* * *

That night when they went to bed, Caroline began nibbling on his ear and Chuck asked her to stop.

"I need to know something, Caroline. I need to know the truth, no matter what it is. You and John Casey. Not the gory details. I just need to know that it's over and that you don't still have feelings for him."

Her mind was racing and she could feel the sweat break out. She never thought this would ever come up. She hadn't brought it up because…she didn't know what his reaction would be. They had to work together, to function as a team and she had no idea how Chuck react to the knowledge that they'd been almost to the point she and Chuck were at now.

John had a ring but she had no intentions of marrying anyone at that point in her life. She was in it for the partying and good times, nothing more. But she'd changed and this was what she wanted now. She'd found the man of her dreams. She couldn't lie to him but she couldn't figure out how to tell him, either.

"We…we had…we slept together a lot. We were like Sarah and Bryce for a while. I didn't love him like I love you, Chuck. It was different. It was all about the sex and partying and it went on for nearly three years, on again and off again, whenever we were in the same place or could take leave together.

'_Three years? No wonder he's bitter.'_ Chuck could empathize with Casey. After all, he'd pretty much followed Walker around like a love-sick puppy dog. But three years?

"He wanted a commitment and I wanted to wring the good times out of life. He asked, I told him 'no'. That was more than a year ago, before he got assigned to Team Intersect."

"I wish you'd told me before this. I wouldn't have asked him to be my best man and he wouldn't have had to say 'no' without any explanation. Jesus, this really creates a new team dynamic, doesn't it? I told him we were engaged and he started with the objections and obstacles."

He could feel the tension in her body and wished he'd just left it alone. He could have been happy and now, if she was having second thoughts and still had feelings for Casey…

" Annie Prince has been assigned as an 'observer'. Is there something I need to know, Agent Hansen?"

"Chuck, what's with the 'Agent Hansen'? Are you jealous about me and Casey? Christ, I didn't ask you for a list of all your sex partners over the span of your entire life. I never nagged you about Sarah Walker. I just hung in there, hoping and praying things would work out between us and they have. Haven't they?"

"You never answered my question. I told you I didn't want the details, just an answer. Do you still have feelings for him? Is it going to be a problem for us working together with him? Or you two working with me?"

"Chuck…" There was agony in her voice. All he needed to know was 'yes, I still have feelings for him' or 'no, I don't'. A simple yes or no.

"I'm going for a run. I'll try not to wake you when I come in." _'I should have just kept my fucking doubts to myself. I have got to learn to leave well enough alone sometimes…OK, most times.'_

* * *

He'd been gone twenty minutes when his phone rang. Carina Hansen answered the phone, shocked that he'd left it behind. He never left his cell phone behind.

"Hansen, secure."

"Casey, secure. I need to talk to Bartowski. Wake him up, Hansen. I need to talk with him. It's important and personal."

"He's gone for a run. He asked about you and me and I told him and he went for a run. Actually, he asked me if I still felt anything for you and I never answered him. I just told him our history. I should have told him 'no', John, but I didn't and now he's doing what he does best, deconstructing us and coming to conclusions."

"I screwed up, Hansen. He asked me to be his best man and I threw up obstacles and objections and it was wrong of me. I've probably stoked his jealousy when I didn't answer his question. It's my fault and I'm…I'm sorry but I couldn't lie to him."

"I'll tell him you called, Casey. Maybe he'll call you back. I don't know, but I'll tell him you called." She hung up and walked downstairs to wait for him to come back.

* * *

Casey called back 2 hours later and told her that he needed to speak to Chuck 'on business' and for him to return his call regardless of the hour. She knew he was lying but let it slide. She was worried and feeling sorry for herself. She should have told him right up front but she didn't. He probably wouldn't trust her easily again. She had a hell of a repair job to do on their relationship. He was jealous and she'd been evasive. Not a good combination.

He had felt the download enhancement kick in a bunch of times. He felt the 'tingling' in advance of the effect and it was like getting a second wind each time. He needed to tell Jacob about this. He'd run his circuit several times and his legs felt like rubber so he slowed his pace and finally slowed to a walk. He'd cool down and then shower and finish things with Carina. They had a plane to catch and she would probably want to 'discuss things' the entire damned drive to Eglin.

Well, at least now she had a valid reason to give her mom about not setting a date for their wedding.

* * *

She'd dozed off and didn't hear him come in. He didn't see her asleep on the living room couch and took his shower and slipped into the empty bed. He had two hours to sleep before the start of the day. He was too tired to worry about where she slept.

Her mother woke her a little before six, handed her a cup of coffee and led her to the screened deck for a 'tell me all about it' conversation. She'd probably pushed too hard for a wedding date and now she'd caused a problem between the two.

She'd awakened when she heard Chuck leave on his run and had lain awake waiting for him to return, finally falling into an uneasy sleep around 3am. Finding her daughter asleep on the couch was an unpleasant surprise. Things must have gotten out of hand for her to leave Chuck and sleep on the couch.

Carina took one look at her mother and started to cry saying 'Oh, mom, I've ruined everything. I should have told him about John but I didn't and he knew about it somehow and asked me if I still had feelings for him and I couldn't answer him. He went for a run and he's still not back. What am I going to do?"

"Well, first you should answer the question – if only in your own mind. Then you should go find him and tell him straight up with none of your long and tedious explanations. If you still have 'feelings' for John, tell him and then decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with, John or Chuck."

"You make it sound so simple."

"The telling is simple. It is the living with what comes next that's hard. Do not deceive your young man. He is very perceptive. He loves you but someday he'll make some girl's mother a fine son-in-law." She was being deliberately blunt and cruel to her daughter. Caroline needed to understand the concept of 'consequences', something she and her father apparently hadn't instilled in her and something she'd ignored in her professional life. There were always consequences.

"I don't love John Casey. I love Chuck. John might still love me, or thinks he does, but it's been long over between us and I've never given it a thought since I met Chuck and we started dating. He was just Chuck's handler, and my friend, nothing more."

"Then wake him and tell him just like you told me. He only wants to know that he's the one in your life, the only one. Tell him that he is, or tell him that he isn't. _But tell him, Caroline_."

Irene promised herself that if the couple survived this that she would curtail any mention of a wedding date. They would have enough stress on their relationship if it survived at all.

She hugged her mother and thanked her for the advice and walked upstairs to the 3rd floor bedroom, afraid it might be empty.

* * *

Chuck was awakened once again by hot tears on his face and her sobs as she assured him he was the only man she loved, that Casey was history, and that she had no more secrets or surprises for him. She should have told him but she hadn't known how to tell him she'd been regularly sleeping with his friend and handler up until he'd been assigned to the 'Burbank project'.

He wrapped her in his arms, kissed her soundly and went back to sleep. She lay in the circle of his arms unsure of his forgiveness but certain of his love. She'd never give him reason to doubt her love for him in the future. Having was so much better than wanting.

* * *

NSA Psychiatric Treatment Center  
FT Meade, MD

Sarah Walker's therapist was almost to the point of throwing in the towel with her patient. It wasn't her fault nor was it the therapist's. It was her professional opinion that achieving a final breakthrough would require discussing the status of her 'one true love' and her misplaced guilt over his death, something that had been expressly forbidden.

The very mild drug regimen coupled with honest introspection was yielding favorable results, so favorable that the therapist again had approached her supervisor with another request to inform her that the 'love interest' was alive and well. Her request had been denied. She was bluntly told that divulging his status 'would endanger a national security asset'.

She had a responsibility to her patient and it hardly seemed possible that him being alive could endanger the nation's security. She set a mental goal in the patient's treatment schedule and if the final breakthrough was not reached within a few months, she'd tell her that Bartowski was alive and well but living undercover. That would salve her professional conscience as well as 'protect the asset'. After all, what could one woman do against the combined forces of the Intelligence Combine?

Her only and, thank God, infrequent 'bad' dream was of Chuck marrying Carina Hansen and their vows and first kiss as husband and wife. Sometimes her sobs woke her. Those were bad days in her counseling sessions and her therapist used them to work out her innermost fears and issues. She said it was good, that her subconscious was recognizing that Chuck had moved on and so should she.

It drove her therapist crazy when she'd snidely commented that he was dead, murdered by an overzealous analyst who misread intentions and acted precipitously and killed him, and surely her therapist wasn't suggesting she move on in the same way, was she? Once she drove her therapist to tears with that suggestion, acting as if she was sincere in her intentions to follow her love.

The therapist was a useful idiot and with time, Sarah knew she would be out of this snake pit and free to wreak her vengeance on all those who had caused his death, starting with Hansen and Casey and ending with the analyst and then General Beckman. Then she'd be free to live life as it came to her, her blood oath to her one true love satisfied.

* * *

APR


	22. Promises Are Made to be Broken

CarinaChuck21

Chuck dozed on and off during the drive to Eglin. Conversation was impossible since Carina had put down the top and turned the radio on loudly to a local country and western station. She obviously wanted her mind anywhere else but in the car.

The couple had said their goodbyes to her folks after a quiet breakfast with the two retired agents. Irene kept looking at Chuck out of the corner of her eye and he wondered just how much Carina had told her mother about their argument. It wasn't a reproving glance but more like a 'you're still here?' glance. Well, at least the topic of the wedding wasn't dominating the conversation, what little there was of it.

Bill had a few brief words with Chuck about Belize. Obviously Irene had not clued him in to whatever she and her daughter had discussed. He still seemed friendly and open and very much wanting to help with the 'honeymoon' recon to the safe house in Belize.

"Chuck, just let me know when you plan on 'visiting Belize' if you get an assignment down that way and I'll send you some contact names who'll help you get it up and running. Otherwise, it's our wedding gift to you two, so feel free to drop in anytime."

"Yeah, Bill, about that…"

"I asked Irene to dial it down a notch. I see she kept her word. Don't mind the sidelong glances. She's just biding her time. Now, take care of my little girl and be safe. And call if you need anything or just want to talk. Not much else for me to do nowadays except fish and wait for the Grim Reaper to come calling." He grinned to show he was kidding.

"Thanks. See ya when we get down here next time." He wasn't going to bring up the argument. It was really none of their business. He wondered how much of her tearful apology was true and he hated himself for even thinking that way but he'd learned some hard lessons in the nearly two years of dealing with the spy world where lies and truth seemed interchangeable and equally believable.

* * *

He still hadn't called Casey back and he didn't think he would bother. If he was all that concerned about security, he would have sent escorts and not just allowed them free rein in setting up their travel arrangements. Carina had done it all online anyways so there was a record if Casey was curious.

They dropped the rental off at the dealer and caught a shuttle bus onto the base. Their flight wasn't scheduled to depart for another hour so Carina headed for the snack bar while he broke down and called Casey.

"Casey, secure. It's about fucking time you called me, Bartowski. Don't get too damned big for your britches and think you don't have responsibilities to this team. You were supposed to call me back last night. I told Carina to make sure…"

"She fell asleep while I was out for a run. I ran a lot longer than usual so it's my fault not hers. Our flight leaves in 40 minutes and we'll be in Burbank in 5 hours or so. Any new orders?"

"No, moron, and your new shadow handler, Agent Prince, is chomping at the bit for a mission to observe. What…"

"Casey, I'll talk to you in Burbank. We'll head for the apartment and dump our bags and then report in. I'll talk with you then, Casey, and satisfy your morbid curiosity. Send Prince somewhere so she doesn't overhear what she shouldn't. Tell her to go shopping. That'll work." He hung up not caring that Casey wasn't done talking yet.

Carina's phone buzzed 30 seconds later and she saw it was Casey and sighed, not wanting to get into any discussion about the previous night's conversations.

"Hansen, secure but in public."

"Casey. What's wrong with Bartowski? He never called me back last night and when he called me just now he hung up on me! You better get your boyfriend in line, Hansen. He's pushing the envelope with me. I don't care what super powers he's got, I'll tear him a new one if he continues disrespecting me."

"Oh, please, John, get a grip. You have no idea what the past few days have been like. Thanks to you and Beckman there's a tension between us that was never there before. He's pulling away and last night was the closest we've come to breaking up so excuse me if I don't give a good crap about your image. Now, what did you want in the first place, _partner_?"

"He missed a check-in and he never called me back last night. You know the rules."

"He ran 10 miles last night, Casey, maybe more, I don't know. I don't think he had much interest in hearing your version of Carina Does the NSA. He slipped in while I was asleep downstairs and I never told him to call you so blame me, you idiot."

"So did you tell him about us?"

"Just what I already told you. The damaging parts."

"What did he say?"

"It's what he did that hurt. He just got up and went for a run. Not a single word. Not one. I told him everything but I just don't know if I got through to him or not. He's been like a stranger since early this morning."

"Is it going to be a problem, us working together?"

"You and I? No. Chuck and I, maybe. I don't know and I don't want to talk to you about it anymore. I should be talking to him not you. He's the one I want to marry, not you, Casey."

She hung up and went to find Chuck. He was on his cell phone with Jacob raving about the skills download and how it had given him a 'second wind' more times that he could remember. "It was fantastic. I could have run all night except I pushed too hard and damned near fell and killed myself. I can hardly stand let alone run today. Still, man, it was fantastic and other than a little weight loss, no side affects. I'll let you know more after I can run 'known distances' in L.A."

They talked for another minute and then Chuck hung up and gingerly seated himself to await their flight.

"Is this seat taken?" He'd put his suit bag on the seat beside him.

"Nope. Take a load off." He got up and walked into the snack bar leaving her gaping and almost in tears. It was over. They just hadn't gone through the painful part of the process yet.

She sat down, leaning her head in hand trying not to cry.

"Here." He handed her a cup of coffee. "We won't have an opportunity once we get on 'government air'. Casey called but I'm not in the mood for his crap. Probably pissed him off but I don't care. All I care about is right here, sitting beside me."

He sat down gingerly. His thighs were aching but he didn't want to give her any reason to start on him for pushing the enhancements. He realized the stupidity of pushing himself but he'd hit the 'wall' and pushed past it with the download's help. He experienced the 'runner's high' he'd heard so much about. He'd never felt such euphoria before outside of sexual climax. He was hooked on running.

She promised herself she wouldn't cry. Another broken promise. She got as close to him as their seats would allow and soaked his sleeve with her tears, hanging on to his bicep and not caring what anyone thought. No amount of consoling seemed to help.

The relief she felt was overwhelming. She'd had no idea how invested she was in this clueless man until she almost lost him. Never again. She'd only lie to him to save his life. She never wanted to experience a night like last night ever again.

* * *

Burbank Air Park  
Burbank, CA

Chuck went to pull their luggage from the plane since they'd been the only passengers again. It seemed foolish for someone to unload the luggage, put it on a tram and deliver it to a conveyer belt and move it into the baggage claim area.

Carina met him with the car and they drove home to their apartment.

"We have nothing to eat, Chuck. I tossed out all the perishables before we left. I think we have a couple of chicken breasts and some mushrooms in a can and that's it. We need to stock up before we being training, sweetheart. Otherwise we'll starve."

"Not as long as you can find the take out menus and the phone works."

"Putz."

"Truth hurts, Agent Hansen, ma'am. Live with it. Pizza and beer and we're good for tonight. Let's see what horrors Casey has dreamed up for my concentrated training agenda before we load up the larder. With my luck he'll want to do the physical training in Death Valley."

"Wimp."

Before she could even scream Chuck had her over his shoulder and had walked briskly to the bedroom, thrown her on the bed and had most of her clothes off.

"Wimp? We'll see."

* * *

Castle  
Burbank

"Where have you two been? The plane got in two hours ago. I checked."

"We had unpacking to do, Major, as well as compile a grocery list, drop things off at the dry cleaners and then I had to report on the physical aspects of the enhancements. All that takes time, y'know?"

Carina walked away rapidly so Casey wouldn't see her face. It was all she could do not to laugh outright at Chuck. He'd 'had his way' with her twice and probably would have rounded third and headed for home but better sense prevailed. He looked at her with smoky brown eyes and warned her that 'this was just a sample of what the 'wimp' could do'.

She was looking forward to more of his 'samples'.

Annie Prince was sitting in the kitchenette drinking coffee and filling out some report forms when Carina walked in to get a cup of coffee. Chuck could hold his own with Casey. He was changing right before her eyes. She liked to think she was at least partially responsible for the positive changes.

Annie took one look at Carina and laughed. "Someone got laaaaid…"

"Several times but I wasn't counting, just trying to survive. Jealous?"

"Yes, damn it! Where's my Chuck Bartowski? I'm entitled!"

"You have to live right, eat the right things, have a perfect sense of timing and, oh yeah, find the right guy at the right time and for once in your life, do the right thing. That's all. Nothing to it. Piece of cake, really."

* * *

NSA HQ  
FT Meade, MD

Jacob Morris had charted all the data from the various exercises that Chuck had performed in L.A. Agent Prince was very meticulous in her data selection, ensuring accuracy and validity. So far, the enhancements exceeded expectations and Jacob had been busy programming another set for downloading based on the recommendations from Agent Prince.

It was decided, after careful observation, to add another 'layer' of the basic hand-to-hand as well as a basic module that covered locks and security systems. So far the team had not been tasked with any missions and Prince was impatient to see the enhancements in actual field conditions.

Castle  
Burbank, CA

Casey had been on Chuck's back since they'd returned from Florida seven days before. Nothing he did in training was correct or if it was correct, there was some other flaw to be ridiculed. Chuck just took it all in stride, rarely responding to any of Casey's barbs until he went too far.

"Bartowski, that move stunk! I hope it never becomes necessary for Hansen to actually rely on you to protect her. Obviously you're totally inadequate for the task."

Prince had been monitoring the physical training and had an excellent view of just what happened next.

Casey grabbed Chuck and started tossing him around, criticizing his falls and his recoveries. "Jesus, Bartowski, you look like a limp dish rag out there. Man up and start performing or someone's going to take away your girlfriend and show her what a real man is like. Then where will you be?"

She saw Chuck's face go blank and she called over her shoulder for Carina to "get your ass in here. Chuck's in trouble!" Carina watched the monitor over her shoulder as Casey slammed Chuck to the mat again and again, each time saying something personal and cutting.

"I can't believe she's been reduced to pity fucks. My G…"

Casey was lying on his back on the mat. Chuck's arm was across his throat, crushing his windpipe. He knee was still firmly in Casey's groin and the big man was trying to curl up in a fetal position from the pain of having his nuts smashed by Chuck's knee and trying to get a breath.

"Major, not one more word about Carina, understand? You will not disparage her in any way. Take your best shot at me but don't even think about being anything but respectful to her. Fuck up again, Casey, and I'll rip your throat out and blame it on wild dogs when someone finally notices your worthless ass hasn't cashed a paycheck for a while. I mean it, Casey. I'll do it, too. This is your only warning."

He jumped up and turned his back on the big man, daring him to say or do anything not in the training agenda. He'd crossed the line. He needed a lesson and Chuck was suddenly in the mood to give one. The tingling had become almost an itch and he desperately wanted to scratch it.

* * *

Diane Beckman watched the surveillance files emailed to her by Agent Prince. She practically clapped her hands in glee. Finally, the intersect host was showing his mettle. She sent an email to Jacob Morris to expedite the next download and to make sure the full measure of hand-to-hand tactics was included. Casey was expendable. He was a burn out. Bartowski was the intersect. No contest.

Hansen was providing just the right amount of motivation at just the right time. They'd make a formidable team once agent training was completed.

* * *

Two days later

Beckman had read the reports and agreed. It was time to see if the enhancements worked in the pressure cooker of a real mission. There had been reports of a small hive outside Sacramento that appeared to be an admin and intel node. Considered 'low risk', Beckman issued a warning order and tasked the team with infiltrating the hive and placing repeater units in any computer equipment that could be easily accessed, and surveillance bugs placed in any offices. She also wanted photographs of any documents they could find for her analysts to review. Capture of any personnel depended upon the situation at that time. The overall mission objective was to get in and out without detection.

Casey drove the van and the others followed in one of the Castle Suburbans. Chuck sat in the back seat and dozed as was his habit. Long rides were great opportunities for napping. Prince drove the truck and she and Carina chatted the entire trip. They would spend the night at a motel and then do a daytime recon of the suspected node location. The actual penetration attempt would be done in the early hours of the following morning.

The recon was uneventful. It was simply a 'Butler' building with an office fronting it. There was one main entrance and a set of metal doors on the other end of the building to admit vehicles and light trucks. There were only 4 vehicles in the parking area. Except for a UPS delivery, no one entered or left the building until 5pm when what looked to be clerical staff left leaving one vehicle in the lot.

They went to dinner at a small restaurant near the motel and afterwards Casey and Prince returned to the motel. Chuck and Carina followed the sounds of music to a lounge across from the motel. Neither one drank but they danced and spent some quality time together. She seemed distracted and hung on him as if he was going to disappear if she let go.

Later that night Carina rolled over against his back and asked him to turn over. She had some things she wanted to say and she wanted to see the look on his face when she told him.

"Caroline, we have a mission and I know you're tired. Can't it wait? I want you fresh as a daisy. You're the pro here and I'm just the data retrieval system."

"This is important. I want you to listen and I want your promise that you'll do what I ask of you. It's important to me, Chuck."

"Couldn't you have told me this on the way back from the club? Or in the shower? Or…"

She put her fingertips on his lips to quiet him. "I used the walk back from the club to put my thoughts in order and I couldn't even think straight in the shower. It's taken me this long after the shower to get my mind on things and that's _your_ fault, my precious lover. Now hush, and don't interrupt me."

"Fine." He was curious but also uncomfortable with this conversation. Normally she just blurted out what she wanted to say.

"OK. When we do the infiltration, no matter what happens, no matter how you feel, no matter how strongly you think you can do it, I want you to turn around and run at the first sign of a mission gone bad, understand? I'll tell you to run and you'll run. It's not about being macho and it has nothing at all to do with Casey's smart mouth in the training room. It has everything to do with me wanting to keep my future alive, understand? We three agents have been trained to do this, baby, and you've come a long way but you're not ready for prime time yet."

"But Caroline…"

"Hush, honey. Just promise me you'll follow my instructions. I won't be able to sleep a wink if I don't get your promise. I know how you are and I don't' want any heroics. You're already my hero and you have nothing to prove to me, understand? And fuck Casey and his mouth. You shut him up good and it was long overdue but I want your promise."

"I can't promise to leave you or anyone else behind. Please don't ask that of me. I can't see any future without you in it. Whatever happens, it happens to both of us. I'm sorry. I can't promise to leave you."

"See, Chuck? This is why agents don't fall in love. This is why Sarah rejected you. This is exactly why I never should have fallen madly and hopelessly in love with you. This is why I should have ended it with you when I got assigned to be your handler. I was selfish and I was only thinking of myself, of how much I loved you. It was stupid and I ignored my training."

"So, no promise, no engagement? You'll break up with me and request reassignment? Is that what you're saying?"

"I can't function if I'm going to be worried sick about you getting hurt or worse. I'll get sloppy or unfocused and I'll get someone hurt or I'll get hurt or I'll get someone killed. I need that promise. I need your word, Chuck."

"Beckman didn't object to our engagement. She doesn't feel 'being compromised' is negative to our work or you'd have been sent back to the DEA in a heartbeat. NO. I cannot promise to leave you. You'll just have to make damned sure nothing happens to you, understand? You'll have to be careful and exact and professional and focused. I won't leave you, ever. Live with it, Caroline. What kind of husband would I be if I leave you to 'your fate'?"

"OK. Compromise. Promise me you'll do it while you're in training then. Keep that promise until you get your damned shield, OK? Please, Chuck."

Chuck did something he'd never thought he'd do. He made a promise he had no intention of keeping. He promised to abandon her if things went bad but only while he was still in training. He hoped the situation would never arise but he was fully prepared for the consequences if it did. He'd rather have her alive and gone if it came down to choices. It was no choice at all in his mind.

"Thank you, Chuck. Thank you." She was almost in tears. She'd been prepared to return the ring and ask for reassignment. She was so afraid of something bad happening to him that she was prepared to give him up to keep him safe.

"Y'know there's a big damned hole in your argument about leaving if I didn't promise." Chuck rolled over with his back to her.

"What's that?"

"Your replacement might not give a damn and I'd be just as dead."

* * *

APR


	23. Some Things and people Never Change

CarinaChuck22

* * *

Editor notes: Got a 2nd job interview at Gannon. We're flying up and then spending the weekend. Hopefully, finding a place to live near the lake but I don't know. We're not exactly on same page with working in the North. Damyankee doesn't want to go home. Nik

* * *

He was still awake when the wakeup call came from Casey at 3am. He didn't know if she'd slept or not and he was so damned angry with her that he didn't care. What kind of woman would threaten to leave if he didn't promise to do what she demanded? Was this the first in a long list of demands? Was he a jackass and would only respond to the carrot or the stick?

They put on their black coveralls and met out behind the motel where the van was parked. Casey passed out weapons to the agents and told Chuck 'nuh uh, not until you're qualified' when he reached for his. Chuck started to object but quickly started to see a pattern. He turned and walked back to the van and sat in the back. That's where the 2nd class citizens used to sit, in the back.

"Casey, he needs to be able to defend himself. He can handle a pistol. You know that. You stepped over the bodies." Carina wanted him to have at least a pistol.

"No. Not until he's qualified. I'm his trainer. You're his handler, handle him. Keep him out of my way and out of trouble. Do your job."

"Casey, this is bullshit. This is just because he kicked your ass for your smart mouth, isn't it? You're jealous…"

"At least act like a professional, Hansen, and not some DEA slut. We have a mission. I'm in charge. He doesn't carry. Period."

Anne Prince was appalled at Casey's behavior and arrogance and told him so in no uncertain terms.

"Major, this goes in my report. You've crossed the line – again. You're sending a valuable asset in to a potentially dangerous situation unarmed and you've abused your authorities to do it, not to mention bringing a hostile attitude to the mission."

"My mission, my rules. Live with it or stay in the damned van. You're just an observer, Prince, nothing more. The team will run the mission. Stay out of my way."

* * *

They drove to the target building and Casey ran a quick commo check and they approached the rear entrance. Chuck was third in line with Prince bringing up the rear. Casey picked the lock and raised the rear door but in doing so, tripped an infrared alarm that sounded in another location. Their intel was solid but incomplete. This was an admin and intel node but there was an active operations hive across town, twenty minutes away by fast car. And they were coming.

Chuck flipped on his night vision goggles and switched the scan to infrared and scanned the room. He was the only one wearing them. There were beams across every window and across the access door to the office area. The warehouse itself was empty.

"Infrared alarms on the windows and doors. Means we tripped one when we entered. We can expect company sh…"

"Shut up, moron. We're not to your part yet. Save the color commentary. Your geek skills come in to play once we breach the door. Until then, shut up."

"Casey, if the windows and interior doors are covered, why wouldn't the truck doors be covered?" Prince asked the obvious question but was ignored.

"Let's get moving. We don't have all night and if the moron's right, we're on a tight schedule. Let's hustle, people."

He picked the simple lock on the administration entry point and they filed into a long corridor with closed doors on either side. He motioned for Carina and Chuck to take one side and he and Prince would take the other. Each team would unlock a door, survey the room and plant bugs as required and leave and relock the door. They would have no time to scan documents.

Carina and Chuck were fast and efficient and were well ahead of Casey and Prince, meaning they were farther down the corridor toward the main entrance than the other team. It took Chuck mere seconds to determine which bug went on which computer. Casey and Prince weren't nearly as fast.

The last office they entered was apparently the site administrator because it had a brand new computer and a large wall safe that just screamed 'there are secrets here'. Carina went to get Casey to open the safe. It was his best skill other than being an asshole. Chuck copied the hard drive to a flash drive and was just finishing up when he heard the Fulcrum shooters enter the lobby.

He was defenseless and had no recourse but to hide. He only hoped that the 3 agents didn't blunder into a trap. He called Carina on his comm unit and whispered, "We got company. I'm in the office and will try and get out a window once the shooting starts. I'll see you back at the van." He didn't wait for her response. He was on his own – again.

* * *

He took stock of his situation: no weapon, no hope. The windows were covered with wire mesh and weren't designed to open anyway. He considered hiding under the desk but it was more a table than a desk and had no drawers or panels. The lateral file cabinets were flush against the corner walls. He slipped over against the wall hoping to hide his 6'2" behind it if the bad guys opened the door.

He heard a suppressed burst of automatic weapons fire and a returning fusillade of pistol fire from his team. Suddenly the office door was thrown open and one of the Fulcrum shooters entered the room and knelt down just inside and fired a burst down the corridor.

Chuck swung out from behind the door and grabbed the shooter around the neck as he was reloading his MP-3 and pulled him into the room and bumped the door closed with his hip. He felt the tingling of the enhancements and he felt something more but then realized he was holding a limp body not a struggling man.

He stripped the body of weapons, spare magazines and a com unit and opened the door. He saw a shooter across from him firing at the team from an office and fired 3 rounds through the wall beside the door and he heard a body drop. Chuck glanced down the corridor and saw that the Fulcrum agents were advancing in a leapfrog manner, pinning down his team in the last two offices. They couldn't get to the warehouse doors without exposing themselves to deadly fire.

They were trapped. He felt sickened by the realization that _he_ was their only real hope of escaping and he had just spent 30 seconds puking all over the body of the man he'd strangled or something.

A Fulcrum agent stepped out of the office next to his into the hallway to advance to the next office and Chuck shot him in the back and scurried down the hallway to the office he'd just left. That was three down and an unknown number to go. He felt a strange sensation pass over him and he twisted around in time to see a Fulcrum agent. The agent was just as surprised but had the advantage of being prepared to fire and so Chuck caught a 3-round burst in the chest. The bolt stayed open and the Fulcrum shooter started to change magazines.

Chuck could hardly breathe but the vest had done its job. He pointed his MP-3 at the agent and fired a burst up the chest and face. He wasn't wearing a vest. Tough shit. He _was_ and that was what counted. He loved the sound suppressor. It kept the weapon from climbing on full auto and shooting holes in the ceiling.

His com unit vibrated but he ignored it. He was waiting for the next Fulcrum shooter to step out into the corridor when he had a thought. He stepped out and walked down the corridor to the lobby and saw that the Fulcrum reaction force had come in a single SUV. Considering he'd taken down four, there should only be a small force left in the corridor unless they went around the back and were attempting to catch the team in a cross fire from the front and rear.

His comm unit buzzed again and again but he was on his knees throwing up nothing but bile. '_After the drug guys, you'd think I'd get used to it', _but he wasn't. The comm buzzed again and he jerked it off his harness. "What?"

"Chuck, are you OK? Are you out of the building? Go to the van and return to the motel. We almost have this wrapped up and I'll call you for pickup. I - I love you, baby, with all my heart." She was lying, giving him hope, thinking he was safe and outside the facility. She was saying goodbye.

"Watch the doors behind you. There are two or three unaccounted for." Chuck slipped out into the corridor and checked each office as he passed. If the door was unlocked, he fired a burst that would catch anyone hiding beside the door or opposite the closed door before he kicked in the door. He reloaded twice by the time he'd cleared the offices and was almost to the two held by his team when the two missing Fulcrum agents burst through the door from the warehouse and sprayed the corridor, advancing toward Chuck.

He'd been caught totally flat-footed while reloading and was knocked on his ass by a burst that struck his vest. He felt a searing pain in his chest but sat up and returned fire. Carina and Prince both stepped out into the hallway and shot the Fulcrum agents in the back, ending the confrontation. Carina ran down the corridor and helped him up while Prince went back into the office and helped Casey out into the corridor.

"Damn it, Chuck, what do you think you were doing? I told you to leave. This wasn't your fight. You were unarmed and you should have run when you had the chance. You broke your promise to me. I can't do this. I won't do this. I'm leaving. I can't trust you. Look me up when you get the intersect out of your damned head."

She pulled off her engagement ring and stuffed into one of his pockets and then turned away and walked down the corridor towards the warehouse. Casey and Anna were in the hallway and they'd heard the entire exchange, if you could call her screaming at Chuck and him hanging his head and listening, an exchange.

"Hansen, I was wrong not to have given him a weapon. You were wrong for saying what you did. He was alone and he did what he had to do. There was no way to get out of these offices. Wire mesh over windows that don't open and no place to hide. He did what he had to, to protect the intersect. Get your ass back down there and at least listen to what he has to say."

Casey was nursing a nasty gouge out of his upper thigh and Prince had slapped a field dressing on it until they could get to a secure facility. He'd been wrong and it might have ended badly for the team if Bartowski hadn't rolled up the opposition from behind.

She turned back but the corridor was empty. Chuck was gone.

* * *

After her vicious monologue, Chuck turned and walked through the lobby and out the front door to the Fulcrum SUV. He checked and laughed. The keys were in the ignition. He had a ride back to the motel to pack. And brush his teeth. Puking was not high on his list of 'things I like to do'. He had no idea what he was going to do but he knew one thing for certain: no more spy girls. Ever. But first, he had something to do.

He drove around the back of the office and opened the van and took an MP-5 and sufficient magazines and boxes of loose rounds to enable him to hold his own against anyone, including his former NSA team. He snatched up some grenades but passed on the C-4 that Casey always insisted on packing. He had no idea how it worked and wanted nothing to do with anything he didn't understand. He grabbed two of the NSA incinerators and tossed them into his bag as well. You never knew when you might have to leave no traces and these babies melted everything.

He felt funny all over. And tired. Really tired like he'd run 10 miles. He pulled himself back up into the SUV and drove to the motel. Chuck parked the vehicle in front of a dry cleaning store in the lot on the other side of a strip mall beside the motel. No sense advertising where they were to Fulcrum if they'd lo-jacked their own vehicle. He grabbed his stuff and walked the block to the motel and used a keycard to open the door. He was dragging ass by the time he'd opened the door and … shit.

His team was waiting for him. His first and last reaction was to aim the MP-5 he'd slung over his shoulder at them. He wanted them out. He told them to get out and leave him in peace. Carina had a really strange look on her face, one he'd seen before but couldn't remember where. He didn't care. All he wanted to do was take a shower, pack and take a shower and take a shower and take a…

* * *

He woke up alone in a hospital room that had seen better days. The whole place smelled like the backseat of Morgan's car after he forgot the gallon of milk he bought and left in the car at the beach in the sun for a weekend. He tried to sit up but couldn't. He was just too damned tired. Tired of it all. He looked down at his wrist and saw a hospital identification band. His name was apparently Bart Charles. Original thinking. Chuck wondered what the cover was. Too tired to worry about it he went back to sleep. Let one of the special people do the thinking. He was on strike.

* * *

The next time he woke up he was in the back of the Suburban. Casey was sitting in the front seat and Prince was driving like she was at the Indianapolis 500. It was night. His hospital identification band was gone. No more Bart Charles. Wonder where aliases go when no one uses them? The sour milk smell was gone, replaced by a coppery smell that made him want to gag. He went back to sleep, ignoring her voice urging him to 'hang on'. Hang on to what? Her? She was leaving. Why wasn't she gone? She'd made her intentions painfully clear.

* * *

He was lying in a bed covered with orange blossoms. He thought hard and suddenly he knew the meaning of life. He had the answer. It was so simple. Why hadn't anyone thought of it before? The answer to the question 'What is the meaning of life?' was simple. It was a game with no winner, only losers and everyone had to play and everyone lost eventually. Everyone died.

* * *

NSA Approved Medical Facility  
Doc in the Box Store Front

The doctor was telling Casey that it was a trillion to one shot. "One bullet was stopped by the vest. It mushroomed and deformed and the vest caught it up in the Kevlar fibers and held it. It was a hell of an impact and probably knocked your man down."

Casey just nodded. He'd seen some crazy things in his life. Nothing surprised him anymore. Nothing.

"A second bullet hit in exactly the same place and pushed the deformed bullet through the remaining layers of the vest and literally shoved it into his chest and broke the rib and tore the hell out of the muscles pushed on by the force of the second projectile. Incredible. The odds are incalculable. He's a lucky young man though. Other than shock and blood loss, he'll be good to go once the transfusion is finished and I recheck his dressings. He'll need monitoring for a week at least and then he'll need PT to rebuild his muscles on the left side."

"What's his prognosis? Can he be moved? We need to be…elsewhere." Casey knew they needed to get back to Burbank. He didn't trust anyone knowing about the team, not even supposedly 'approved' physicians like this 'Doc in the Box' emergency care facility that operated out of a storefront in the wrong part of town.

Carina was sitting in the waiting room drinking coffee and wishing the past 4 hours had never happened. Annie Prince had tried to talk to her but all she'd say was 'go away'. That's what she told Chuck she was going to do: go away. At that moment she'd meant it but now, after hearing Casey's explanation and seeing the situation through Chuck's eyes she wished she could take back those horrible words. Words were weapons and Carina had used them to hurt him, to make him feel like she did. She'd broken off their engagement more to punish him that anything else.

The confrontation in the motel room was almost funny. They sat there waiting for almost an hour. Casey never bitched once about his leg even though Annie was worried that the bleeding hadn't stopped. Casey just tightened the straps on the makeshift pressure dressing and waited.

Carina had packed their bags while Annie kept a look out for Chuck. After 30 minutes she was ready to go find him but Casey was adamant about letting Chuck deal with the firefight and its aftermath in his own way. Chuck was parked in the Fulcrum SUV in a strip mall a hundred yards up the road from the motel according to his GPS beacon in his cell phone. Annie had walked up and checked to make sure he was OK and then came back. They were waiting to see just what he planned on doing with the mini armory he'd looted from the van.

When the door finally opened they were surprised at how quickly the situation turned from a confrontation and apology session into a mad rush to the 'approved' NSA physician across town. Chuck had pushed open the door, aimed the MP-5 at the group and mumbled wearily to 'get the fuck out of my life. I need a shower' and began stripping off the vest and the mission coveralls, mumbling to himself through it all. That's when things got frantic. He was wearing a white t-shirt under the coveralls and it wasn't white any longer.

* * *

They had him on the good stuff. The right stuff. He giggled and then remembered killing the first Fulcrum agent. He didn't laugh after that. He didn't smile but he didn't cry either. He needed to talk to Jacob about killing the 'kung fu enhancement'. He couldn't control it and it frightened him. He didn't really remember what he'd done to the Fulcrum agent just that one minute he was struggling and the next he was dead, his head twisted around until he was almost looking 180 degrees from normal.

* * *

Casey had already been in contact with General Beckman and she'd dispatched a security team and cleaners to the Fulcrum site. It was a blown mission but she didn't care. The Intersect performed well under stress and from what Casey said, the stress level was off the charts. She was pleased until he told her about Hansen's tantrum.

"Tell her to stop acting like a child. She should never have extracted a promise like that. You can't give an order knowing the order won't be followed. He's not like that. He won't turn on his own kind or abandon them. Tell her…no, leave it alone, Major. If she leaves him, so be it. Prince is already there. I'll just order her to take Hansen's place."

Casey limped out into the 'lobby/waiting room' and confronted her with her choices. His leg was throbbing and he needed to get on the crutches the doc had provided.

"Hansen, decide what you're going to do. The General's got your replacement ready to step in and take over. It was not fair to Chuck to do what you did to him but you have strong feelings about it and they can't be ignored. Decide. You have 30 minutes. If you decide to leave, your orders are to return to DC for reassignment, probably back to your DEA supervisor's job in L.A."

"Casey, I …"

"You'll never be able to see him or talk with him again. It'll be a clean break. Beckman will move the operation someplace else and we'll just start over fresh with new identities. Do what you feel you have to do but do it within the next half hour."

"I don't need a half hour. I'm staying. I'll square it with Chuck somehow. I don't know how, but I'll do it. I was wrong to expect him to keep a promise that went against his ethics. And I was being unnecessarily cruel to him when I gave him back the ring. Cruelty has never been my style."

"He'll be on bed rest for at least a week and then really light physical training and physical therapy. His sister can handle the medical side. Beckman's brought her further into the 'family'. She'll handle my needs also. Just watch the sutures, that kinda stuff".

* * *

Prince drove the team back to Burbank and then returned the next day to DC for new orders. Beckman wanted her assessments of each of the team members. Prince had seen a new side of the NSA, the one never seen by outsiders and few insiders.

She'd seen an operational team implode and then implode again and still survive and retain its core abilities to continue the mission. Bartowski would be a valuable asset and agent if he survived his training. Hansen was the real question mark. She'd used her relationship with Bartowski to 'handle' him with almost tragic results. Casey was and always would be…an asshole.

She'd seen the human side of team life, the prices and costs. She'd 'sanitized' her report to Beckman leaving out the emotional confrontations that had occurred on the mission. She kept only the cold, hard facts in her narrative. It had been a long 30 days. The next 30 would be just as difficult.

* * *

APR


	24. Carina in the Crosshairs

CarinaChuck23

This is a backwards state. The State owns the liquor stores and close at 9pm. And they say this state is progressive? I'm bored with this. Going to shut it down in a short-short.

APR

* * *

Carina drove Annie Prince to the airport. Ellie was with Chuck and Casey was with himself, just as he preferred. Ellie was in full doctor mode and was torn between kicking the crap out of Chuck for getting shot and kicking the crap out of Carina for being such a bitch. The only thing that saved Carina from physical EllieWrath was the emotional collapse she'd seen Carina go through.

Carina told her everything, leaving nothing out. Nothing. Ellie just sat there, calmly drinking her tea until Carina got to the confrontation in the corridor of the intel node. Then she turned into a seething mass of big-sister's-going-to-kick-your-ass Ellie.

"You ended your engagement over some stupid promise that anyone who knew Chuck for a month would know he never intended to keep? Maybe you two shouldn't get married. You obviously haven't spent enough time with him or he's been a totally different guy with you than anyone else in the world. Even the Blonde Bitch knew better than to try getting him to promise something like that."

"It was a horrible mistake on my part. I was so hurt and angry that he broke his promise that I just lashed out in the most hurtful way I could. I used his love for me against him, turned it into a no-win situation and now I don't know how to make it right, Ellie. I love him and I want to marry him but I can't lose him to the job. That's why I threatened to leave him if he didn't promise to leave me and run away if the mission went bad – and it did and he didn't."

"What would have happened if he'd turned and run?"

"I found out later that he couldn't. The windows couldn't be opened and there was heavy wire mesh so that even breaking a window wouldn't let you use it to leave. There was no place to hide in the office I'd left him in while I went to get Casey. It was near the lobby where the Ful - , I mean where the enemy agents came in. I was trapped with the others and I couldn't get to him, Ellie, he was unarmed and all alone and…"

She told Ellie through her sobs that she'd called him thinking he was safe outside and told him goodbye because she was certain they'd be killed. It broke her heart to hear what Carina said and _how_ she said it. She'd help her resolve her problem with Chuck but only because she knew her brother. He loved her more than he had ever loved Jill and it took him _five years_ to get over her.

* * *

So while Chuck was sleeping courtesy of some heavy meds, Carina drove Annie to the airport. It was round 2 of the I-hate-Carina fest.

"Carina, I've known you for almost 8 years and I never in my life thought I'd say this but you are one stupid woman for dumping a guy like Chuck. He saved our lives and he couldn't have escaped if he'd tried. You tore him up and now you expect him to just crawl back to you? It's you who should be crawling…over a bed of nails and broken glass and hot coals and…"

"OK, Annie, I get the idea. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I have to live with it and without him I guess. He'll never trust me after I accused him of deliberately staying behind and breaking his promise. I'll never forget the look in his eyes when I stuffed his ring into his jumpsuit pocket. He was so devastated and I should never have said or done what I did. I know that now but I didn't know it then. And no…"

"You better make this right or Beckman's going to send you to Alaska or some other terrible place. She'll pull your clearances and you'll be doing background checks on janitors for the rest of your career."

"No, I won't. I'll be back supervising agents for the DEA and the team will go dark and reestablish themselves with new identities elsewhere. I'll never be able to see or speak with him again. He'll be so far undercover not even Ellie will know where his is or who he is this time."

"Then fix it, Hansen. Do whatever it takes or I'll fix it and him and I'll have your 'happily ever after' as his handler and then his partner. That's the plan. Beckman already clued me in. Fix it or lose him forever."

She got out of the car and boarded a flight for DC. She hoped she'd put the fear of God or Beckman into Carina Hansen.

* * *

Carina & Chuck's Apartment  
Burbank, CA

She walked into their apartment and Ellie 'shushed' her before she could say anything. Ellie took her by the arm and dragged her back out to the hallway and then out into the foyer.

"He's awake and he's not a happy camper. He took one look at me and turned his face towards the wall. He thinks you're gone, been reassigned, just like you asked to be. He won't take his pain meds now. He just lays there and stares at the ceiling. I don't know what he's thinking but he hasn't unclenched his fists since he figured out you weren't there. Pain's not good for him so I suggest you get him to take his pills or I'll have to dope him with a shot and we both know how much he'll enjoy that."

Ellie handed her the pill bottle and then hugged her saying "Call me if you need anything. I'll be by after my shift."

Taking a deep breath she walked back to the apartment and got a glass of water and two of his pills and walked into the bedroom. He was on his back, his face towards the wall. He thought she was Ellie and his next comment cut her to the core.

"Leave me alone, Ellie. There's nothing I need that you can provide. I'm fine, really. I guess I should be thrilled to be alive. Look at me. The world's only living heart donor. She told me what she'd do and she did it. There's a first for ya. A spy who actually kept one of her promises."

He groaned as he rolled over on his 'good' side, turning his back to her and she heard him mumble, "Of course, it had to be _that_ promise that she kept."

It felt like she was having a heart attack. The pain took her breath away and she ran from the room. She muffled her sobs with a towel and finally reached the obvious conclusion: she needed to talk to her mother.

* * *

The phone call was short and to the point once Caroline had poured out her heart and the events as they occurred on the mission.

"Caroline, if you love this man like you seem to, you have to accept him for who he is not who you want him to be. Do you think I fell in love with _Mallard_ or with Bill Hansen? I never knew Bill Hansen until I was given limited parole and he became my handler and later my case officer but I was already in love with _Mallard_ and the things Bill Hansen brought to our relationship were just icing on the cake."

"But he _promised_…"

"What are you, 10? Has he had other women? Has he lied to you? Has he been disrespectful, demanding, inconsiderate, abusive? No, by your own words. And by your own words he could not have escaped even if he wanted to. So, cut off your nose to spite your face. Go marry that Cossack John Casey. You do not deserve a man like Chuck if you insist on putting your fears into rules that govern your relationship. Now, either marry Chuck, please, please, please, or marry John Casey the Cossack. If you marry the Cossack, do not call again, Caroline. Remember the last time?"

She was listening to dial tone wondering if the gods had designated today as 'Dump on Carina Day' and she failed to get the memo.

* * *

She washed her face, put on some concealer to hide the dark circles, and walked in to confront her former fiancé, water glass and pills in hand. She turned around and walked back out. He was asleep. Good. It would give her time to compose herself and her plea for forgiveness.

If it didn't work out with Chuck, there was always the Cossack. Ewww.

Her mother loved throwing Casey in her face. The only time he'd met her parents, her mother had cursed him out in several Russian dialects and her father just glared at her for 'bringing him around' her mother. Casey had a rep amongst the Russian émigrés.

* * *

She was exhausted and since _he_ was in their bed, she opted to take a nap in the spare bedroom. Sleep, induced by the emotional toll of the past two days, crept up on her and she dreamed her worst fears and nightmares.

_Chuck was frantically clawing at the window frame trying to open the window when a Fulcrum shooter stitched a burst across the back of his thighs. He screamed "Carina" and twisted around as he fell, facing his shooter. She heard a maniacal laugh and a scream that was cut short. When she looked in the office, Chuck was dead._

_He waited until the Fulcrum agents passed by his hiding place and then he ran out through the lobby and into the parking lot. Three agents shot the legs out from under him and then played with him, betting which shot would end him. They were pretty lousy shots and managed to miss anything critical until the leader answered his comm and said 'We have them cornered. I wonder why this one wasn't armed? Cut his throat. We've wasted enough ammo.'_

_Chuck and Casey walk through a warehouse and Annie Prince trails behind them. The two men are discussing something when Annie draws her pistol and shoots Casey in the back of the head and then shoots Chuck with a trank gun. She calls someone on her cell and suddenly Fulcrum agents appear out of the woodwork and carry Chuck away. A Fulcrum man hands Annie a suitcase saying 'As agreed, $1 million for the intersect'._

_It's raining and the mourners attending the funeral are concealed under large black umbrellas. The priest drones on about how young he was, how his future was just beginning to change for the better but he'd suffered the loss of someone dear to him and in his torment, took his own life. Ellie finds Carina in the crowd and points her out to the other mourners screaming 'she left my brother to die and here she is, gloating over the body…kill her!'_

Carina sits up, covered in a cold sweat, and suddenly she realizes what Chuck has said all along: neither has a future worth living if the other isn't in it. She hops out of bed and goes into their bedroom. He's not exactly awake yet. The pain must be bad because his forehead is covered with beads of cold sweat. She finds his pills and helps him sit up to take them and he finishes the water and then looks at her for the first time, unable to see her in the dark.

"Ellie? This is kind of weird. Where are your clothes? What would Devon say?"

"Shut up, beloved. Give me back my damned ring. You were right. There's no future for either of us without the other. I was wrong and I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy, I swear it, Chuck. Don't hate me for wanting to keep you safe no matter how stupid I was about it. Don't stop loving me because I want you alive and kicking. Don't stop loving me, please?"

"Shhh. I'm too tired to argue with you. You can have your damned ring back. Don't take it off again, Caroline, except to put on your wedding band. I hurt and I'm stupid and if I keep talking I'll say something wrong and screw this up again. Sleep, please? I'll keep the bad dreams away."

* * *

Dr. Fletcher sat at the small table in Sarah's room finishing her salad. It had become their custom to take one evening meal a week and just get to know each other better. There were no notes, no recordings, no 'how does that make you feel' questions, just two people slowly becoming friends.

"I met an interesting character today, Samantha. He's working on, get this, using a computer to put skills into the minds of agents! Have you ever heard of such a crazy idea?"

She dropped her fork in shock but quickly covered up her lapse by seemingly falling into a fit of laughter.

"See, Samantha, I told you I could get you to laugh some day, and I have!" She reached over and took Walker's hand in hers. This was apparently more than a meal. "I love your laugh, sweetie. It completes you."

Walker squeezed her hand and looked down as if shy and uncertain. "I never have thanked you, Emily, for all your kindnesses, especially when I've been such a difficult and bitchy patient." She made and maintained eye contact and then gently pulled her hand away with a winsome sigh.

"Samantha, I always thought you were worth the effort. You're quite the remarkable woman and I must say, very attractive. No doubt you had to beat men off with a stick."

"You have no idea. And all they wanted was to sleep with me or use me to realize some sick fantasy. Only Chuck was what the novels described as a 'gentleman' and he was that – gentle and a man. I'll never allow another man to touch me."

"Oh surely you can't mean that, Samantha. A woman has needs and you're young and beautiful and so full of life…"

"Not another man…" She looked her in the eye and allowed just the tip of her tongue to outline her upper lip as if thinking about something.

"After Chuck, no man. Never. I'll handle my needs my own way." Again the tongue and eye contact with a slow movement of her eyes from Emily's eyes to her lips and breasts, but very slowly as if unconsciously and without purpose.

"Well, Samantha, I've enjoyed our dinner. Perhaps we can move the venue to my quarters some time? I'm sure you'd like to get out of this cell block." She laughed since it was her nickname for her quarters in the facility, her cell in the cell block.

"Oh, yes! I'd love to see your place. Soon perhaps? I'm really going crazy here, Emily!"

"Oh, I think something can be arranged and quite soon, sweetie." She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, not exactly an 'air kiss' but nothing that could be misconstrued, either.

Walker lay in her bed, restless but excited. Someone else knew about the intersect. A man was trying to download skills into agents. Maybe he knew Chuck? She wanted to talk about him with someone who knew him and wasn't taking notes and being critical.

A few dinners and she'd allow Emily 'liberties' and then she would 'allow' a full blown 'seduction', allaying any fears she might have of being manipulated by the CIA's premiere seductress. She'd use her new-found lover to discover who this man was and where she could find him. Through him she might be able to locate Hansen and Casey. And then she'd start her killing spree.

She slept and dreamed of the months she and Chuck had spent in Italy and North Africa following the path of a terrorist financier. They'd made love in every small town they'd passed through and she would never forget his strength and resolve when they finally captured the Algerian. The interrogation had been brutal but he never wavered and used his torture skills to break the man to turn and give up his contacts.

* * *

APR


	25. Failures to Communicate

CarinaChuck24

* * *

Trypewriter: I think I've got one more on here. She's reorganized again. Please read this carefully. Many of the questions about Walker are answered in the first few paragraphs **if you read them.**

* * *

One Month Later  
Ellie and Devon's Apartment

Ellie and Carina spent a lot of time together discussing their respective wedding plans. While Ellie and Devon had a rough date in mind (the following year after they both finished their residency requirements), Carina was in no hurry to 'set the date'. In her mind it was just a formality. She was 'wedded' to Chuck in thought and deed as he was to her. There was something about almost dying that brought a couple closer although she wouldn't recommend it to the average pair as 'therapy'.

Last week they'd duplicated the Sacramento mission that caused so many problems but this time in Taos, and it went down perfectly. Even Casey had begrudgingly complimented Chuck on his performance. "Not bad, idiot. Took too much time but we got in and out in one piece." Best of all, no one got hurt and the intel had been rock solid. No surprises. Carina hated surprises on missions.

"So, Chuck, how's the spy business? More importantly, how are you? You seem awfully quiet lately, bro, not that I'm complaining. Things smoothing out on the home front?" Devon and Ellie had been 'brought in' when Walker became unstable. Casey had briefed them in on the basics, nothing more.

"I'm fine, Devon. Tell Ellie Carina's on me to ease up on the liquor and we've gotten back on track. It was just a question of goals and objectives. We both wanted the same thing. We just had different routes in mind, that was all. The only fly in the ointment is Casey. Man's become a total flamer about some things. He needs to get laid, Devon, for the safety of all around him." He laughed but he was serious.

"We could always take him out to the strip and get drunk and disorderly and hope he gets lucky."

"Casey? Drunk and disorderly? The man's a cartoon character around civilians. Nah. We're heading back to Meade for a week and then if I pass the physical, Carina and I are off to a joint training exercise in the mountains. Hopefully Casey will run into someone he knows while we're there and he can 'connect'." He made a rude hand gesture but Devon nodded.

"Your shoulder still aching? Do your exercises, Chuck. Takes time for muscle tissue to regenerate and reform. Don't slack off. When you're 60 you'll thank me."

"She won't let me skip a single line in the exercise sheet I was given. And she gives me a lot of encouragement so it's not all that hard to do. I just wish the 'trillion to one' had happened to someone else."

"What can I say, Chuck, you're just a lucky guy."

* * *

NSA Psychiatric Facility  
FT Meade, MD

Dr. Emily Fletcher was stunned. She'd been terminated for 'unprofessional conduct' and had just sat through a board of review that further recommended that her license be suspended pending her own 'evaluation' by the State Medical Board. All this because she had gotten friendly with a patient outside of the confines of a therapy session.

Patient Samantha Reynolds was to be reevaluated by a series of therapists. She was manifesting delusions and surveillance tapes of her quarters confirmed long conversations, even arguments, with figures both imaginary and dead. Instead of improving, she was deteriorating. She was reclassified as a 'red case' requiring two attendants during any room visit and an armed escort between locations. When she was not in her quarters, full restraints were required. She was a trained assassin, after all, and considered unbalanced and a hazard to her caregivers and to herself.

* * *

BWI Air Port  
Baltimore, MD

Jacob arrived early at the airport and parked in short-term parking and walked briskly into the Arrivals concourse. He felt great. Between the exercise program and his draconian diet he'd lost 40 pounds and felt healthy and fit for the first time since…well, since he could remember. He was 28 pounds from his optimum weight for his age and height and he was proud of himself.

He was picking up his friends, Chuck and Carina, and a Major Casey. Chuck was going to try and assimilate the remaining course of self-defense as well as an experimental (hell, the whole deal was experimental) download of Arabic. Between phone conversations and emails they'd both agreed to test the efficacy of language skills via download. Since it had obvious applications in an agent environment, the General was most supportive.

Chuck also wanted to discuss the 'triggers' for the enhancements. He was worried that the routines in the hand-to-hand module seemed to overwhelm any control on his part. Jacob remembered conversations with the trainers after the sparring match. Many of Chuck's offensive moves seemed to be automatic responses to threats and if they'd been successful, fatal to his opponents. He fully agreed with Chuck that something needed to be done to allow _him _to control the degree of appropriate force, not the enhancement. It was another reason he and Chuck hit it off. They had similar values and very similar ethics.

Carina was waiting for Chuck and Casey to pick up the luggage when she spotted Jacob. She screamed 'Jacob!' and ran to him and hugged him. He looked so good.

"Oh, sweetie, you look great! Chuck's going to be so surprised and pleased. He's talked about how he admires your determination and wishes he had the same dedication to his own personal fitness goals. You've lost weight and you've bulked up and, wow, feel those muscles!"

Jacob was turning several shades of deepening red. He was so pleased that Chuck and Carina considered him a friend. They were always calling or emailing asking about his fitness program and offering constant support and motivation. Now if he could just find _his _'Carina', life would be perfect.

Chuck warned Casey about hassling Jacob Morris. "Major, as a personal favor, keep the smart-assed comments about morons and idiots to yourself. He'd busted his ass to lose weight and get fit and he's been a friend to me when I needed one. He's brilliant but doesn't seem to notice and he's shy and really self-conscious about his weight. So cool it with the 'lard ass' comments, OK?"

"Lay off, Bartowski. I won't bust his chops. That's why I keep you around."

"See that you don't. He's Beckman's Golden Boy and she's very protective of him for some reason. He gets away with more than I do. I wish I knew his secret. She never gets mad or short with him. Must be some latent maternal thing."

Casey thought that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "Beckman? Maternal instincts? Not very damned likely."

Chuck found Carina and Jacob and was shocked at the change in his friend. Shocked and pleased.

"Carina, who's the skinny dude you're hugging on? Do you have a man friend in every damned airport in America? Do I have to remind you that you're an engaged woman?"

After the obligatory man-hugs, Chuck introduced Casey to Jacob.

"Jacob, this is Major John Casey, my other NSA handler. His bark isn't even close to his bite so be careful. He knows 30 ways to kill you with a drinking straw but he's good people down deep. You can trust him, Jacob."

Casey felt ashamed for a brief second. 'Good people' don't treat you like crap because you won the heart of his ex-girl friend. 'Good people' don't call you 'moron' or 'idiot' and offer nothing but sarcasm and criticism.

"Nice to meet you. I understand you've gone on a hard-core training program. Keep it up. From what Chuck's told me, you're almost to goal. Man up. I might need a new partner some day that has a brain and I'll definitely keep you in mind. So, you're the brain behind the enhanced downloads? Got one for Chuck that has 'common sense'?"

Jacob wasn't sure if Casey was kidding about the download but he was pleased and embarrassed about praise from an agent. He never got tired of feeling good about himself and Casey made him feel that way with his comments, even if he was kidding about the partner thing.

Carina put her arm through Jacob's and walked out to the car, happily chattering away with a man she considered a friend because Chuck did. He had good judgment about people, usually. There were exceptions, of course. Larkin, Walker, Lou Paloma…OK, Lou was more her jealous reaction but Larkin and Walker were dead on.

"So, this is the genius behind the enhancements? He's…not what I expected. Not at all. I expected a sloppy, badly dressed and long haired hippy throw back. This guy's not what I expected at all."

* * *

NSA Tech Center  
FT Meade, MD

"Chuck, ready for the light show? All personnel, put on your glasses and look away from the subject, please." After a quick count down, Jacob clicked his mouse on a command line and a 40-minute download commenced.

Casey found the whole process boring but necessary. He worried that Bartowski would go through another memory loss and he'd discussed it with Jacob who assured him he had the key to the solution right in his pocket. He took out a hand-held strobe light like those given to downed pilots. "This will key in the modules and he'll be right as rain, Major."

Chuck only slept 30 minutes despite the length of the download. Carina unfastened the straps securing him to the chair and then held the strobe light up to his face and turned it on. The reaction was instantaneous and violent.

He reacted to the light (and the person holding it) like he'd been attacked. He slapped the light from her hand and then attacked her with fists and kicks. She wasn't prepared for it and she was desperately blocking his attacks and retreating while calling out his name and shouting for help. She was great at hand-to-hand but the download had made Chuck even better.

Casey stepped into the room and tranked Bartowski just as he'd gotten past Carina's defenses and was moving in for a killing blow. He'd already tagged her on the side of the face and in the rib cage. Casey was shocked at the speed and lethality of Chuck's attack. He fired again to make sure he was down.

Carina dropped to her knees, winded and sore. She couldn't block all of his blows and kicks and she couldn't bring herself to attack him. He wasn't in control. It wasn't his fault. For a brief second she hated Jacob Morris and the monster he'd created but threw the thought away.

Jacob had warned her not to get close to him when she activated the strobe in the darkened room. "Carina, stand in the doorway. It's the light that will trigger the modules and embed them. You don't have to be close to do it. It's just the light. We don't know how he'll react."

Well, now they knew. Casey helped her to her feet and they followed the medics carrying Chuck.

"You OK, partner?" He knew that only Walker was better in unarmed combat than Agent Carina Hansen and he knew she was holding back on attacking him. Still, he was angry with Bartowski for injuring his partner even if he knew he wasn't in control. If she'd been less skillful she'd be dead. He wouldn't want to face Bartowski without a gun, that was for damned sure.

"Yeah, Casey. Thanks for tranking the big lug. I couldn't attack him, Johnny. I just couldn't. It was all I could do to stay away from him. If you hadn't gotten him with the darts, I hate to think what might have happened. Damn it, he's going to go all Bartowski on me now. He'll feel guilty and probably want 'some time apart' so he can beat himself up. It wasn't his fault but he won't see it that way. And we were making such progress…"

"It was your fault, Carina. Jacob told you to stand in the door when you turned on the strobe. You were too close and he subconsciously saw you as an attacker. Put yourself in his place. You're groggy, you have a killer headache, it's dark and someone flashes a bright strobe light in your face… you'd think it was the flash from a pistol shot, right? That's what he probably thought."

* * *

Jacob was practically in tears. He hadn't been able to move, to hit the emergency alarm, when Chuck attacked Carina. He needed to see her and to apologize even though she hadn't followed his instructions. He wandered down the corridor to Medical to check on her, Annie Prince following dutifully behind.

Chuck slept a drugged sleep for 6 hours. He regained consciousness and his memory filled in all the blanks, complete with sound effects and tactile memories. He'd attacked Carina and tried to kill her. He knew it wasn't really his fault but deep down where it mattered, Chuck was a gentle man who loved Carina and would never intentionally injure her let alone try and kill her. It was a tremendous shock to his system. Just as Carina had predicted, he started on his guilt trip.

He found his clothes and dressed. He wondered where his team was. Probably figuring out what went wrong. He had to talk to Jacob. No more kung-fu downloads. Never again. He almost killed her. She wasn't here so she must be injured. He needed to find her, to make sure she was all right.

He walked out into the corridor of the medical unit and asked a nurse where Agents Casey and Hansen were. She looked at him like he was crazy and walked off muttering something he didn't understand. He stopped a doctor who grabbed his arm and examined his hospital ID bracelet that Chuck hadn't even noticed.

He said "Wait here, Agent, while I call down and find your team for you." He walked away to call security and get a team up here. They had another nut from the psych wandering around unescorted. And this one didn't speak any English. Chuck had no idea what the man had said. It all sounded like gibberish to him.

Chuck leaned against the counter of the nurses' station impatiently waiting for his partners. He saw two security men walking down the hallway and one started talking into a cuff mike when he spotted Chuck. Both were armed and began walking quickly and purposefully in his direction. He turned and saw two more coming off the elevator and one of them had drawn his pistol.

That was enough for him. He heard an announcement over the PA system but couldn't understand the language. He made a decision right then and there and began walking quickly toward the original pair of guards, smiling and letting them see he was unarmed.

One of the guards reached behind him and brought out a pair of handcuffs while the other one smiled and gestured for Chuck to stop and turn around. He complied, waiting.

* * *

APR


	26. We Never Knew Her

CarinaChuck25

One said something to the other in a foreign tongue and when Chuck felt the first man grab his wrist to be cuffed, he attacked, knocking both men to the ground. He took a set of keys off the one unconscious guard and then a pistol and a taser. He turned and saw the second pair of guards running towards him, the one with the drawn weapon pointing it at him and yelling something he couldn't understand.

He shook his head and tried to remember. Had they been on a mission in a foreign country and somehow he'd been captured? His last real memory was of getting off the plane in Baltimore but somehow he remembered fighting with Carina. Sparring? He was getting more confused by the minute. He knew he'd been tranked. He had the foul aftertaste in his mouth.

Alarms sounded and lights began flashing at the exits. The PA blared an excited announcement and then stopped. He had to get a handle on the situation. He needed information. He needed a prisoner, someone who could be made to give him answers and information. He needed to know where he was. He needed to find his team.

* * *

Casey, Carina and Jacob had been in the far wing of the building when the first alarm sounded and had made it to Chuck's room when suddenly all hell broke loose. There were unconscious security guards outside his room. A guard ran up to them and told them that 'some nut speaking Arabic' had broken into the psych wing and 'freed all the other nuts'. They'd finally cornered him in the lobby but he escaped after a firefight.

* * *

Chuck ran down the corridor and through the double doors into a short corridor that was deserted and barely illuminated. He ran toward the locked wire mesh gates figuring that way led to freedom. Chuck looked at the lock and he _knew_ how to pick it but he didn't have the tools. Wait. He had _one_ tool. He fired two shots into the lock and kicked the door open. He couldn't read the sign across it – **Psychiatric Wing** **– Authorized Personnel ONLY!**

Chuck continued down the hall checking each of the locked doors, secured with a heavy latch. _'This must be the prison wing'_, he thought. Maybe his team were prisoners? He looked in through the small door window of each room as he passed. EMPTY! He found a room with a latched door and saw a blonde woman dressed in an orange prison jumpsuit. She was in shackles sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked familiar…maybe someone who could help him find his team.

He removed the restraining pin from the simple latch and pulled the door open. The woman looked up at him in surprise and then broke out into a radiant smile.

"_**Chuck**_! Oh my God, you're alive! They said you were dead. That your heart…" She stopped talking abruptly. He obviously couldn't understand her. The bastards had done something to his mind! Had they tortured him because he told her to run? Had he been here the whole time she'd been here, being tortured because he tried to help her escape? Oh, how they would pay!

She gestured toward her cuffed hands. He took a ring of keys from his pocked and started trying to open the cuffs, finally finding the right key after several attempts. She rubbed her wrists and took the keys from him and unfastened the chain around her waist and finally the shackles around her ankles.

She smiled her special 'Chuck Smile' and kissed him, gently at first but then with increasing passion, hugging the man she thought was dead to her in desperation. He didn't respond at first and when he did, he stopped and gently pushed her back from him, shaking his head sadly. Her joy was dampened by the confusion she read in his face.

"Chuck? Can you understand me at all? It's Sarah. Sarah Walker. Please, don't you remember me at all? We were in love but _**THEY**_ hated us for it and forced us apart. Please remember me, Chuck, please?"

Again he smiled sadly and took her by the arm and led her to the door. He'd found the last person on earth he expected to find in a foreign prison. They'd lied to him about taking her in for treatment. They'd sent her on a suicide mission or something and she'd been captured and probably tortured. His kick-ass Ninja spygirl couldn't form a sentence, just prattled off meaningless sounds. They'd screwed with her mind somehow…

He was afraid for Carina. She was in one of these cells and he had to find her. Had to save her.

"Chuck, baby, please, listen to me. We need to run. I have contacts. We need to run, Chuck!" He muttered something in…Arabic! She knew a few words. Bryce had always handled the Arabic. She spoke several other languages.

In Arabic, haltingly and with horrible pronunciation and grammar, she told him that they had to run but that she had contacts. She said they'd been betrayed and needed to find a place to hole up until her contacts could get to them.

"Sarah, why didn't you speak English in the first place? Have they…messed with your mind? Have you been tortured? Where the hell are we? I need to find my team!" The rest of the rooms were empty. His team must have escaped capture. He needed to get out of this place and find them.

She only got about one word in five but she knew he'd been affected mentally by his torture. And he wanted to know if she was all right? He still loved her! He always put her first. He was looking for his team. Had they all been sent here as punishment?

She tried to take the pistol from him but he jerked away and handed her the taser instead. He pointed to the pistol and then to himself. Of course! He wanted to protect the intersect even after all they'd done to him.

He impatiently grabbed her by the arm and began dragging her to the exit. She tried to make him understand that going out through the lobby was not the best plan but he just kept pulling her until she got mad and tried to stop him.

She was lying on the ground, looking up at the ceiling tiles. He'd put her on her ass effortlessly. Now he grinned and reached down and pulled her back to her feet and pointed. The message was unmistakable: _**I'm in charge. Follow me.**_ She loved this new Chuck even more than the other. As soon as they found some place to hide, she'd show him just how much she loved him and had missed him.

He dragged her into a stairwell and down the stairs. He stopped and opened the fire door just a hair. Good. They were just outside a lobby entrance. Security looked light. Probably never expected people to try and break out or make it this far.

"_Imshi,_ Sarah." Go, Sarah. She knew that word.

* * *

"Shit, it's Bartowski. The modules have triggered but not his short-term memory. He's confused and probably doesn't remember a damned thing." He got on a phone and called the security director and briefed him.

"Come on, he's in the lobby trying to escape. He's got a woman hostage or prisoner with him."

"When he hits the sunlight, Casey, maybe he'll remember everything just like before?"

"If these assholes don't shoot him first. Let's move it."

* * *

They stepped out into the hall way and into an ambush. A dark-skinned man was yelling at Chuck to lay down his weapons and that it was all a mistake. He couldn't understand English anymore because of an experiment. The man spoke in a language Chuck could understand.

Sarah saw dawning comprehension on Chuck's face. Chuck could understand the man and he was about to comply, bending down to lay down the pistol.

"NO!" She stepped out in front of Chuck and fired the taser into the man as if it was a pistol. A security guard fired his pistol, forgetting his orders. Others panicked and fired. One of the shots hit Sarah and she staggered back against Chuck. He grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder and ran toward the glass doors and freedom, firing his pistol at the security guards. They answered with a flurry of wild shots while trying to get out of the open and into some cover.

He hit the panic bars on the doors and ran out into bright sunlight. Thousands of images assaulted his mind and he staggered and nearly dropped her onto the pavement. He stumbled toward the parking lot, hoping to steal a vehicle and then get some medical help. He laughed. He was leaving a hospital going to find a hospital. How crazy was that?

More images and sounds flowed through his mind and suddenly it all clicked. He dropped to his knees and held Sarah, rocking back and forth and telling her it was going to be OK. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

* * *

Jacob tried to ask Casey questions while they ran down to the lobby. "Not now, moron. Later. We have to get to Chuck and calm him down."

The three ran out into the lobby from the stairwell and Carina saw Chuck kneeling down outside in the bright sunlight cradling a woman in his arms.

"Oh, shit, Casey. He's killed someone." She ran to the doors and out to him.

"Chuck! Oh, baby, you're OK. You're…" She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. He was cradling the body of Sarah Walker. She'd been shot by the security guards and Chuck was holding her, rocking her, telling her everything was going to be just fine. They'd fix her up just like they fixed him and then she'd be free to live her own life. Carina heard him say that he was getting married to a wonderful woman and that he hoped she'd be half as happy someday as he was.

He looked up at Carina and smiled through his tears. "I'm so sorry I hit you, Caroline. It'll never happen again. I promise. I was so damned confused and I couldn't understand anyone and…I was looking for you when I found her. I'm sorry I hit you, baby. I – I – I'm sorry. Please …"

Casey ran up beside her and took everything in at a glance.

"Shit." There was no way to fix the 9mm bullet hole a little left of center in her forehead.

* * *

She was buried with military honors at a cemetery outside her hometown of Nashua, New Hampshire. Her father had been informed but did not attend the funeral…something about outstanding warrants. Some of her old friends from before her Agency days did make the service as did some cousins they all but kept their distance from the stern group of people standing in the area designated as 'family'. Bryce Larkin had 'released himself' from a hospital in Virginia and showed up at the ceremony driving her Porsche. He nodded to Chuck and wearily took his place in the 'family' section of seats.

The 'family' waited until the grave of Samantha Reynolds was closed and then wandered to their cars. Bryce stopped Chuck and asked for a few minutes. They talked over an hour, sitting down on the chairs in front of the grave.

"What do suppose those two are talking about, Carina?" Casey wasn't impatient to move on and that surprised Carina.

"I don't know, John. Probably talking about Sarah. They both loved her and each one lost her. I was afraid I'd lost him when I saw the look on his face. Then he started talking and I knew everything was going to be all right. And it will be, John."

"We still have a long road ahead of us and anything might happen. I'm thinking about retiring. This whole thing," gesturing at the grave and the empty chairs surrounding it, "has made me stop and think. Look around, Carina. How many of us will have more than a handful to mourn our passing? I want more out of life than a flag and a funeral. Military honors are for the survivors not the dead."

"Don't go all morbid on us, Casey. We got to keep up a good front for Chuck. This has hit him really hard."

"Don't sell the moron short, Hansen. He'll bounce back. Just make sure you keep an eye on him. He drank through half my booze the other night and didn't slur a word. He wasn't trying to drown his sorrows. I think he was trying to just feel better. That's your job from now on. So when's the wedding?"

"Soon. Chuck told my mother to get her wedding planning in gear. Ellie's been in contact with her by email and they've got plans within plans within plans. I don't care. I just want to make him happy, John."

Chuck helped Bryce stand up and then hugged him. Bryce turned away but Chuck said something and then handed Bryce the flag from Sarah's coffin. It proved to be too much for him and Chuck helped Bryce sit back down and Chuck waited for him to regain his composure.

The two agents waited at the car for Chuck. "We have a flight to catch. We both have to go through survival training and then parachute school. We'll see you in eight weeks assuming you haven't retired by then."

"I won't even pull the paperwork until the two of you are fully trained. I wouldn't feel right letting Chuck Bartowski loose on the world without the proper training."

"You can handle eight weeks on your own, Casey. Maybe Ellie can fix you up with one of the nurses or residents at the hospital. That way you won't have to spend all your time in the shower." Carina could zing him where he was the most vulnerable, his masculine pride.

Bryce left and Chuck walked over to his team mates. "Let's go. He'll be OK. He's got family here he's going to stay with. Who knew they'd been born in the same county? I never knew where she was from. Hell, I didn't know her at all."

Casey nodded in understanding. 'I didn't know her at all' pretty well summed up Sarah Walker. Carina nodded and then put her arm around Chuck and 'guided' him back to the car. They'd been best friends for eight years and she hadn't known her at all, either.

No one had known the real person who had become 'Sarah Walker'. And that was the way she would have wanted it. After all, she had been a spy and the job defined her.

APR


End file.
